Replies: 50
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All-In [40656]
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My wife finally admitted something to me this week
Jan 2, 2020, 9:28 AM
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Shes a dyke. Big dyke. We traded in the Jeep for a Subaru. Tons of room in the back with the third row down for lesbian stuff like scissors and soccer balls.
Also picked up this schweet sticker to throw on the back
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Heisman Winner [105138]
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Well, to be fair, you do look kinda feminine
Jan 2, 2020, 9:31 AM
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How many car seats can you fit in there? You will need them for YEARS. Also, gonna need space to separate car seats if you have multiple kids. Nothing worse than refereeing a fight in the backseat between two boys strapped in seats beside each other.
Now our 6 year old boy just kicks the sh>it out of the 4 year old from across the backseat. 8 year old sits in the far back and leaves trash everywhere.
#Parenthood
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All-In [40656]
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Its a 7 seater
Jan 2, 2020, 9:33 AM
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Captains seats in the second row, third row bench. We almost bought a Volvo XC90 but it wasn't quite big enough and I was scared about reliability, premium gas and repair costs.
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Heisman Winner [135100]
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Douse them in the face with water from a a spray bottle
Jan 2, 2020, 9:50 AM
[ in reply to Well, to be fair, you do look kinda feminine ] |
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and give them a firm 'NO'. If you don't assert yourself as the alpha, the kids will end up chewing the legs off of all your furniture.
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Heisman Winner [105138]
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You laugh and joke, but I just spent the last 5 minutes
Jan 2, 2020, 9:56 AM
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trying to determine if the wife will be on board with this type of discipline and whether or not this is considered child abuse/waterboarding.
I also chuckled a little, imagining doing this to them.
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Oculus Spirit [80688]
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It makes it more effective if you put some hot peppers in
Jan 2, 2020, 9:57 AM
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spray bottle.
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Heisman Winner [105138]
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I'm 80% sure this crosses the line into child abuse
Jan 2, 2020, 9:58 AM
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and I'm 100% sure it also made me laugh.
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All-TigerNet [12851]
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a little vinegar works fine. it startles them enough***
Jan 2, 2020, 10:28 AM
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Heisman Winner [135100]
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Oculus Spirit [84456]
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We can tell it's hers
Jan 2, 2020, 9:31 AM
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Look how crooked she parked it.
Women...
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All-In [40656]
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TO BE FAIR
Jan 2, 2020, 9:33 AM
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I parked it... and it looks crooked because our driveway is tapered.
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Hall of Famer [21023]
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Re: My wife finally admitted something to me this week
Jan 2, 2020, 9:33 AM
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Oculus Spirit [97386]
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I've wondered more than a few times myself ***
Jan 2, 2020, 9:35 AM
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Heisman Winner [105138]
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You do know women much better than the rest of us.***
Jan 2, 2020, 9:41 AM
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Oculus Spirit [97386]
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I only know one, and she's a bad example.
Jan 2, 2020, 9:53 AM
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9:50am and only two lies so far today. We'll see where this goes. Granted she's been awake for less than 30 minutes.
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Oculus Spirit [79293]
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Perfect for taking overly pampered dogs to breweries***
Jan 2, 2020, 9:40 AM
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Oculus Spirit [80688]
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They are dog approved.
Jan 2, 2020, 9:42 AM
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And also by old men in northern states.
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Oculus Spirit [79293]
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I tried to get my wife to look at them
Jan 2, 2020, 9:44 AM
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She's irrational as #### about some things though. She probably would have liked it better than the Mazda, but #### it.
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Oculus Spirit [80688]
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She's not liking the Mazda?
Jan 2, 2020, 9:47 AM
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As much as a POS the Suburban was, its kinda hard to go from a big vehicle to a smaller one.
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Oculus Spirit [79293]
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She's fine with it, she'd just rather have an Escalade or
Jan 2, 2020, 9:54 AM
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something ridiculous like that. I end up driving it a good bit these days, fun little car.
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Oculus Spirit [97386]
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My options were Suburban, Yukon XL, or Odyssey
Jan 2, 2020, 10:19 AM
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Decision became a no-brainer pretty quick. Plus I knew how it would end up anyway.
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Heisman Winner [105138]
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A suburban will not fit in my garage. Something we did
Jan 2, 2020, 10:24 AM
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not consider when we built the house. I pulled the crew cab truck in there the other day and I wouldn't have been able to close the garage door. It doesn't help with the grill guard on the front, but we would have to wedge a suburban in there.
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Heisman Winner [105138]
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I stand corrected, we would have 2' to spare with a Suburban
Jan 2, 2020, 10:30 AM
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So you cannot get around the car after you park it in the garage.
Oops.
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Oculus Spirit [79293]
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That 2' will somehow magically disappear once you get the
Jan 2, 2020, 10:54 AM
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vehicle. Same thing happened with my truck, measuring it out with specs listed online, I had a solid ft of clearance. That foot became about 3/4" once I got my truck in there, and was way too close to reasonably park in the garage every day.
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Oculus Spirit [97386]
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Yeah, you need a good 2+ feet on the front end
Jan 2, 2020, 12:17 PM
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Then another 2 feet+ on the back end. I have a quite nice sheetrock patch completed from wife's numerous run ins with the wall. Put speedbump on the floor with epoxy. She just runs over it and doesn't notice till she hears the sheetrock crack. If she stops with 1 foot to the wall, as the speed bumps are intended to help with, then we have plenty of room to walk behind it.
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All-In [40656]
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I was kinda blown away by it
Jan 2, 2020, 9:47 AM
[ in reply to I tried to get my wife to look at them ] |
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In terms of cars that arent in a "luxury" brand, it marked all of our boxes. Third row, captains seats, heated/cooled front seats, heated rear seats, and it came with both all weather mats and carpet mats.
We were on our way to Volvo to buy, but I decided to stop at Subaru and we were filling out paperwork that night.
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Oculus Spirit [79293]
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The XC90 is nice, I think they do have some gremlins though***
Jan 2, 2020, 9:55 AM
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CU Medallion [55770]
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My wife's Crosstrek came with a Chewbaru Outbark.
Jan 2, 2020, 9:52 AM
[ in reply to They are dog approved. ] |
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Hers has a tent on the roof instead of a bike.
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All-In [40656]
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Aw man, wish I had known about this***
Jan 2, 2020, 9:57 AM
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Heisman Winner [105138]
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These are the perks I could sell WifeofGreenr on.
Jan 2, 2020, 9:58 AM
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But we would need 4 Chewbarus.
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Oculus Spirit [80688]
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All the puppies gone?***
Jan 2, 2020, 10:00 AM
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Heisman Winner [135100]
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He meant for the kids.
Jan 2, 2020, 10:02 AM
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The four that have teeth, anyway.
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Heisman Winner [105138]
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Still got 2. One is staying with us forever, and one goes
Jan 2, 2020, 10:03 AM
[ in reply to All the puppies gone?*** ] |
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home on Friday.
L to R Breck, Belle, Hank, and Charlie
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Oculus Spirit [79293]
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So, how much do you drink every day?
Jan 2, 2020, 10:06 AM
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You literally have double the amount of dogs and children that I do, and I'm increasingly considering drinking vodka at breakfast everyday just to cope.
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Heisman Winner [105138]
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very little actually.
Jan 2, 2020, 10:07 AM
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The heroin helps though.
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Oculus Spirit [78789]
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Oculus Spirit [78789]
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CU Medallion [55770]
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Nah, that's just an image I grabbed.
Jan 2, 2020, 10:24 AM
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This is my dog with her Chewbaru.
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Oculus Spirit [78789]
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aw, what a sweetie
Jan 2, 2020, 10:59 AM
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we got one when we went for a maintenance visit but the dogs will not get it because they will tear it up
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All-In [40656]
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All-In [45295]
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Well
Jan 2, 2020, 9:44 AM
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That's two things that burst into flames.
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All-In [40656]
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Is the other my urethra?***
Jan 2, 2020, 9:48 AM
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All-In [45295]
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The post and ur wife.******
Jan 2, 2020, 10:04 AM
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All-TigerNet [11611]
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My MIL has one as well...
Jan 2, 2020, 9:57 AM
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The lane departure is very aggressive and the adaptive cruise is too conservative.
There's a few recalls out. If your tranny (lutz) shudders go directly to the dealer while it's still doing it.
They are pretty nice.
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All-In [36448]
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Are You allowed to watch and whack it in the corner?***
Jan 2, 2020, 9:58 AM
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All-In [40656]
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Theres so many cameras on this car
Jan 2, 2020, 10:02 AM
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That I could watch from almost anywhere I wanted.
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Lot o points [154452]
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Subaru's always seem like a good value on the surface, but
Jan 2, 2020, 10:38 AM
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I've found that no one factors in the $750 in bumper stickers and $900 mandatory Yakima roof rack.
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Heisman Winner [105138]
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Just have the dealer install all of that and finance it
Jan 2, 2020, 10:44 AM
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for 72 months. EASY PEASY LEMON SQUEEZY
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All-In [40656]
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All-In [47320]
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What exactly are you resisting?***
Jan 2, 2020, 3:18 PM
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All-In [40656]
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President Trump, obviously
Jan 3, 2020, 9:39 AM
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And all the lesbians that have started knocking on our door since we bought the car.
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Replies: 50
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