Topic: Newspapers, The Fount of All Wisdom
Replies: 5   Last Post: Jun 15, 2020 9:47 PM by: Tidewater
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Newspapers, The Fount of All Wisdom

Posted: Jun 15, 2020 5:24 PM

Who writes these headlines? I thought this little nit of humor would relieve a bit of the angst that seems to have permeated the board. Exercise those Ha Ha muscles !!!!!!

"Starvation can lead to health problems"

"Rangers get whiff of Colon"

"City unsure why sewer smells"

"Total lunar eclipse will be broadcast live on Northwoods Public Radio"

"Bridges help people cross rivers"

"Miracle cure kills fifth patient"

"Man accused of killing lawyer receives a new attorney"

"New sick policy requires 2-day notice"

"Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25"

"Hospitals resorts to hiring doctors"

"Girls' schools sill offering something special --head"

"Parents keep kids home to protest school closure"

"Worker suffers leg pain after crane drops 800 hundred pound ball on his head"

"Bugs flying around with wings are flying bugs"

"Study shows frequent sex enhances pregnancy chances"

"Barbershop singers bring joy to school for the deaf"

"Homicide victims rarely talk to police"

"Republicans turned off by size of Obama's package"

"Meeting on open meetings is closed"

"Marijuana issue sent to joint committee"

"Diana was still alive hours before she died"

"Federal agemns raid gun shop, find weapons"

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My favorite...

Posted: Jun 15, 2020 8:28 PM

Bridges help people cross rivers.....you don't say???

2020 white level member

Re: My favorite...

Posted: Jun 15, 2020 8:46 PM

yes,but they also replace missing teeth.

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Re: Newspapers, The Fount of All Wisdom

Posted: Jun 15, 2020 8:45 PM

at least one of those headlines is probably the work of the kid at mcdonald's who once asked me if i wanted cheese with my cheeseburger.no doubt a grad of the usuc school of journalism.

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I remember back in the 90 on the marquee at Easley Cinemas...

Posted: Jun 15, 2020 8:50 PM

Erin Brockovich
My Dog Skip

2020 white level member

"The one who thinks we can and the one who thinks we can't are both right! Which one are you, son? Which one are you, son?"

Re: Newspapers, The Fount of All Wisdom

Posted: Jun 15, 2020 9:47 PM

These are great Mr. Joe, thank you for the laughs!

These remind me of a story about my brother. He was a young webmaster for a NC state agency and posted an announcement of a public hearing just before he left work on a Friday prior to a holiday week end. When he returned to the office the following Tuesday, his inbox had hundreds of emails. He had left the “L” out of public in the headlines. ??

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