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YOUR BALANCE
You know how when you’re a new father and you’re scared you’ll break the baby?
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You know how when you’re a new father and you’re scared you’ll break the baby?


Jul 1, 2020, 1:46 PM

Don’t worry clemsonrulez08®, your gonna do fine. Only thing I’m worried about is, you already have the smile of a man who only sleeps 2 hours at a time.

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My first son broke me in 100%.


Jul 1, 2020, 1:52 PM

Wife had a c-section, so I was on diaper change duty. Went to change it (MAYBE my 2nd diaper change ever). Right in the middle of it, he did his first stinky. Lawd. No one told me it was like a massive tar bubble. I thought a Gremlin was going to appear or something.

2024 orange level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpgringofhonor-tiggity-110.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Yeah, those first week or two poops are weird as h#ll***


Jul 1, 2020, 1:56 PM



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MauldinT, where are you???


At this point I'd trade. They don't stink.***


Jul 1, 2020, 2:06 PM



2024 orange level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpgringofhonor-tiggity-110.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Our first was girl, boy was second....


Jul 1, 2020, 2:05 PM [ in reply to My first son broke me in 100%. ]

Both C-section.

So the boy was needing a change, I was walking around like a zombie looking for the effing diaper, and all of a sudden wife is screaming. I look up and he was peeing a fountain out of his bassinet over on mom. He got some freedom from the diaper and let it rip. Lutz.

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Re: You know how when you’re a new father and you’re scared you’ll break the baby?


Jul 1, 2020, 2:01 PM

.


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I'd be nervous too if I had to worry about breaking some


Jul 1, 2020, 2:02 PM

other man's baby.

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S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


meh, its not yours***


Jul 1, 2020, 2:44 PM



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By week 3, you're doing one-handed pass-offs.


Jul 1, 2020, 2:07 PM

It's actually a little disconcerting how quickly you become nonchalant about baby-handling. I don't think I ever dropped my kids more than a couple times each.

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That’s how you know it’s okay to drink more.


Jul 1, 2020, 2:11 PM

I kept a “baby dropped” calendar like a “days without injury in the workplace” sign. Glad we sprung for the eraser board.

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I've dropped a couple...


Jul 1, 2020, 2:41 PM [ in reply to By week 3, you're doing one-handed pass-offs. ]

I was 13 years older than my cousins, so I was pretty old hat at baby care when my first was born. I don't think I dropped him but I did accidentally bump his head against the transom of a door. I did drop the two year old though. Holding her with one arm under her butt and her gripping my shirt and she let go and threw herself backwards right when I bent down to pick something up. Luckily she did a complete flip and I was close to the carpeted floor, so other than being scared to death we were both fine.

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Are you admitting to having a child with your cousins?


Jul 1, 2020, 2:48 PM

Strange. But it’s normal enough these days.

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my baby daughter


Jul 1, 2020, 2:20 PM

if flying home this weekend from Florida to see me. I've told all the other kids they are on their own for good, but I tell my baby daughter she can come home anytime she wants and stay as long as she wants to. I even have a 800 SF apartment above the garage that is unfinished that could be finished in a month or so.

They grow up quickly. I put my career and other parts of my life on hold to raise my girls. It was so worth it. I have plenty of time to work now that they are gone.

I have 2 kids, wife has 3 kids. At one time we had all 5 at home with one grandkid. Now we just have to very spoiled dogs.

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Last thing the hooker sees before she loses


Jul 1, 2020, 2:56 PM

consciousness.

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Last thing my peen sees before getting a mind melting


Jul 1, 2020, 2:57 PM

blowieJ

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S??? ????? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ??? ??????,
S??? ????? ?? ?? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ??? ????? ?????..


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