Mid Life aint for poosays

Aug 20, 2019, 9:47 AM

So, I specifically remember just over a decade ago, under the handle of ICT, typing posts making fun of yall old farts for being married, having kids, having hemorrhoids, not getting poon from your wives, not being able to control your sharts, having to manage idiot employees at work, feeling like you have no chance with women in their early 20's, etc etc etc.

Today, at 37 years, old, and suffering with my first year of having ALLERGIES, I can't stop coughing and sneezing. Well, that'd be well and good if it weren't for the fact that I kept my wife and toddler up all night coughing, so they're mad and thus I'm getting no poon. To top it all off, two seconds ago, while waiting to meet with one of the idiot employees I manage, I had a violent coughing fit and involuntarily farted so hard it felt like something ripped in my bung. I went to the men's room to check the damage and while I hadn't sharted, I did discover for the first time in my life, I blew out a hemorrhoid. Since I work in downtown Cootlumbia, I thought to myself that I'll make things better when lunch rolls around by having lunch at the strip mall next to the greek quad at UofSuC and enjoying the sechsy coed scenery, but I am stricken with the soul crushing reality that at 37 years old, which is pretty close to the number of pounds overweight I have become since having a kid, and hair that is starting to thin, along with the child seat in the back of my ride, that even if given a hall pass from the wife (which would never happen), not a single one of those hos would possibly consider taking me up on the offer.

Dang life is brutal. Aero, I thought we both said we would have OD'ed or had a liver failure by now. I wasn't supposed to live to see this cold, harsh reality. Mid life ain't for poosays...

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bought a 15' aluminum jon boat with a 25 hp tiller handle Mercury Mariner. I was filling the livewell with bream and crappie while I was still in diapers. Me, my dad, and my granddad went all over the state in that boat just exploring the backwaters of every lake, swamp, and river. Ate more than my share of mustard sardines, beanie weenies, and bologna sandwiches with sandwich spread on sunbeam. Been lost in Broadwater overnight more than once wondering if I would get carried away by mosquitoes before the sun came up so we could find our way out.

When I was 15, my dad gave me the boat. Told me to never quit exploring.

I took my son on his first fishing trip in that same boat this year with me and his grandpa. Changed a couple diapers, and he ripped a few bream lips with his paw patrol fishing pole. Only question will be whether I have to buy a new 25 hp motor in the next 13 years or whether my son will be getting a 50 year old motor that still starts on the first pull.

Mid Life aint for poosays

Woah there now. I'm in your boat too.

I'm hoping my son loves boats and the water as much as I do

I already have a "getting engaged" advice/talk planned

When I was born in 1982, my dad

That is pretty cool, will probably end up being

Just wait until you have a heart attack.

Here's hoping mine does the job!***

Stop being a poosey you gatdan, poosey.

You think 37 is Mid-Life?

Well it kinda is, unless he plans on living to 90***

37 IS MIDLIFE

Re: Mid Life aint for poosays

Mid-life allergies? Lol***

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