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Replies: 48
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Hall of Famer [21077]
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Total downer post but need some suggestions/advice
Dec 15, 2016, 12:12 PM
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As some of you know, my dad passed away in April. He lived less than a mile from me for over 15 years and was a constant fixture at our house. Literally every day he would come over to eat dinner. He was around my kids every single day of their lives.
I am the one who found him when he passed unexpectedly and it has really taken a toll on me. I am trying my best to be happy for the kids so Christmas doesn't feel completely awkward and somber, but I'm failing miserably.
Any suggestions on something we could do to honor my dad this Christmas?
Like I said, sorry for the downer post, but I'm open to any suggestions at this point.
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All-In [46816]
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Re: Total downer post but need some suggestions/advice
Dec 15, 2016, 12:14 PM
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Hall of Famer [21077]
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Haha! Sorry. I figured I could get some decent ideas
Dec 15, 2016, 12:16 PM
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from the Junge, or at worst some LBODS to make me feel better....
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Orange Blooded [4614]
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Pretend this is your dad in heaven?***
Dec 15, 2016, 1:55 PM
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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brb going bald and drinking more beer***
Dec 15, 2016, 1:56 PM
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All-In [43656]
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Damsun, sorry to hear
Dec 15, 2016, 12:15 PM
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if you can afford it and have the time, mebbe just get out of town. Go skiing up in NC or go to the beach or something.
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Hall of Famer [21077]
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We were actually thinking about doing that
Dec 15, 2016, 12:17 PM
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We usually try to go to Boone area every winter anyway. Thanks.
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All-TigerNet [12270]
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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Re: Total downer post but need some suggestions/advice
Dec 15, 2016, 12:15 PM
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What are some things your dad liked to do, hobbies, "go to" places to eat or events etc.
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Hall of Famer [21077]
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He loved woodworking and golf
Dec 15, 2016, 12:19 PM
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I have actually started building furniture as a stress reliever. And I'm a huge golfer and a golf coach. He taught me both golf and woodworking so it feels good.
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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Kinda close to the big day but
Dec 15, 2016, 12:21 PM
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what if you built a piece of furniture to keep in the house that would be something to remember him by? Build a locker from a locker room you'd find in a golf resort
idk how extensive your wood working is but there's that.
If you have an old set of his clubs and golf bag get that cleaned up and have it as a conversation piece in the house.
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All-In [43656]
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Dude staaahp. Putting dad's golf clubs in the living room
Dec 15, 2016, 12:25 PM
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ain't gonna make nobody happy.
Stick to Miatagraphy broski.
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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Again he didn't say anything about wanting to be happy
Dec 15, 2016, 12:30 PM
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He just said he wanted to honor his dad
He said he's trying to best to be happy
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All-In [43656]
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HE WANTS TO BE HAPPY PAL
Dec 15, 2016, 12:36 PM
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LOOK WE'VE ALREADY HAD TO RUN FACEBOOK COUCH OFF FOR JACKASSERY MAN CUT IT OUT AND HELP THIS MAN AND NO HE AIN'T GOING TO BUILD A GOTDERN GOLF LOCKER REPLICA MAN THAT'S JUST GONNA WASTE TIME AND TAKE UP VALUABLE SPACE IN HIS HOUSE.
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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I do believe out of most replies in this thread
Dec 15, 2016, 12:38 PM
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mine is up there in the RH Tig Helping standard.
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Hall of Famer [21077]
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Re: Kinda close to the big day but
Dec 15, 2016, 12:48 PM
[ in reply to Kinda close to the big day but ] |
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I've actually got a cool story about your idea.
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All-In [45047]
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Very cool.***
Dec 15, 2016, 12:50 PM
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Oculus Spirit [81890]
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I think TRDJ has a good idea.
Dec 15, 2016, 12:17 PM
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For this Christmas, if you can afford it, take the family on a vacation somewhere. The Keys, California, somewhere warm, or mountains and cold. Just anywhere but home for a few days.
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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Re: I think TRDJ has a good idea.
Dec 15, 2016, 12:19 PM
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"Any suggestions on something we could do to honor my dad this Christmas?"
Yes go away and try to cover it up
~Jounge
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Oculus Spirit [81890]
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Is this not how men deal with things?!
Dec 15, 2016, 12:20 PM
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I mean, I'm planning to go hike the John Muir Trail to get away.
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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Well thats how boys deal with things***
Dec 15, 2016, 12:22 PM
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Oculus Spirit [81890]
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Touche.
Dec 15, 2016, 12:23 PM
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Honestly though I want to hike it for more reasons than escaping, just being jungey.
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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Im sure when I go my kids will take it upon themselves to
Dec 15, 2016, 12:26 PM
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push a burning Miata off the side of the Blue Ridge Parkway and they wipe the tears away.
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Rock Defender [53]
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Would they do this before or after you die?***
Dec 15, 2016, 12:27 PM
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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Well, I do want to go out happy***
Dec 15, 2016, 12:28 PM
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All-In [43656]
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TMitch just needs to get his kids some knives
Dec 15, 2016, 12:23 PM
[ in reply to Is this not how men deal with things?! ] |
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and the whole fam can spend Xmas break in the front yard whittling/hand carving a wooden life-sized statue of his dad holding a golf club.
~Totescripesunodostres
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Heisman Winner [105525]
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Hall of Famer [21077]
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Haha! ^^This is also what I was hoping for from the Jounge^^
Dec 15, 2016, 12:21 PM
[ in reply to Re: I think TRDJ has a good idea. ] |
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I knew I could get some comments like this. Once again y'all didn't disappoint.
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Orange Blooded [3924]
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set his house on fire
Dec 15, 2016, 12:23 PM
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then roast marshmallows.
#Closure
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All-In [31887]
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ummm....wha?***
Dec 15, 2016, 12:39 PM
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Rock Defender [53]
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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That would be illegal
Dec 15, 2016, 1:05 PM
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right now
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Rock Defender [53]
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Just spitballing here, but why not the best of both worlds?
Dec 15, 2016, 12:24 PM
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Send the family on a vacation to Boone, while you stay home, play with your wood, and golf?
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110%er [8243]
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Honor your dad by living a good and happy life.
Dec 15, 2016, 12:24 PM
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If his passing is causing emotional stress on you and your family, I would suggest that you seek help from a professional.
I am truly sorry for your loss.
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All-TigerNet [11180]
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Been in a similar situation, first Christmas was a bit
Dec 15, 2016, 12:24 PM
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odd but holidays seem to bring back a lot of memories. Focus on the good ones. We ended up re-telling a bunch of funny Grandad stories, some he told, others that were about him...had good chuckles and a some tears were shed. He had a lot of funny sayings, which we tend to use with more frequency now to remember him. Kids seem to process grief pretty quickly compared to adults.
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Legend [17753]
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Some good stuff here but also remember that it is OK to
Dec 15, 2016, 12:25 PM
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be sad some and OK for your kids to see that. I mean you don't want to be crying under a blanket for the whole weekend, but you don't have to be Elf either.
For me it helps to be sad and get your sads out. Do something with the kids specifically to remember dad - do a toast or prayer at dinner, visit the grave, do a thing you used to all do together. Talk about it and get your sads out and then move on with the rest of the fun parts of christmas with kids.
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All-In [45047]
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Good advice is good and advisory.
Dec 15, 2016, 12:31 PM
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I am sorry for your loss though.
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Legend [17753]
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Oh yeah, didn't say that but I am also sorry for your loss.
Dec 15, 2016, 12:34 PM
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Yours too, shorty.
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Orange Blooded [3924]
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my dad died 12 days before Christmas
Dec 15, 2016, 12:45 PM
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We decided to go on with the normal processes. It was a bit rough but it needed to be done. I spent a lot of time in the garage that we used to sit in watching ball games. It was a few days that really helped me with closure. My brother and I drank beer and smoked some of dad's cigars. We watched some football and joked about they way would say "Chicargo", etc.
I still miss dad. This Christmas will be a little bit difficult. But we have to make new memories while remembering the good times. Hang in there.
ps - sorry about the burn the house down post above - I was feeling a litte Joungy.
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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Save that one for the next jounge divorcee***
Dec 15, 2016, 12:46 PM
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Orange Blooded [3924]
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I'm working on the divorce thing as we type***
Dec 15, 2016, 12:47 PM
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All-TigerNet [11860]
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Yeah I figured thats why you made the suggestion***
Dec 15, 2016, 12:48 PM
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Hall of Famer [21077]
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Thanks for all the suggestions and funny comments
Dec 15, 2016, 12:50 PM
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I knew you guys would come through!
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Legend [17283]
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Look at your kids and see your Dad ....
Dec 15, 2016, 12:54 PM
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Shouldn't be too hard to do and might find yourself smiling at who they are & the memories.
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All-TigerNet [10157]
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Re: Total downer post but need some suggestions/advice
Dec 15, 2016, 1:23 PM
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Plant a Tree in your father's honor! Perhaps next Christmas select a Christmas tree that you can plant in his honor after the New Year.
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All-In [40344]
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sounds like you need to take a vacation
Dec 15, 2016, 1:32 PM
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or do something totally un traditional for christmas this year.
having the big standard family feast sounds like it would be a downer for everyone.
just change it up a bit and make a proper toast or something
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110%er [9785]
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Create an annual golf outing in his name at Christmas time
Dec 15, 2016, 3:02 PM
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- if any donations, come up with a charity that he would have donated to.
Hang in there - never gets easy.
Fireball
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All-In [47795]
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a lot of churches have a "longest night" service for
Dec 15, 2016, 4:10 PM
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people in situations like yours. This year I think its December 21 - Winter Solstice.
I find the service moving and helpful.
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Lot o points [163012]
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Tough one. Being an old guy I have been thru a lot of these
Dec 15, 2016, 7:30 PM
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holidays - and it is hard. The good memories are the best to share with each other - we sit around and laugh at things as a family about my mom, my dad, my aunt - good times remembered bring smiles and our kids get to see how much we loved our parents.
"Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them." - Bob Dylan
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Replies: 48
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