Guys, I feel like I should say something here.

Sep 23, 2013, 2:26 PM

Play 59? Really... it took until play 59 to get the offense into a rhythm??

Dabo might recall that last week on these very boards I offered to play Peake's WR position. FYI, I got no call from the coaching staff to talk about getting the paperwork started. Not so much as a T-mail thanking me for the offer.

And what was the result? I think you all saw the lackluster offensive play on the field, Thursday. That speaks for itself... Dabo reaps what Dabo sows.

Now, I know what you are thinking: What would a 40-year old on daily cholesterol medication with a functional drinking problem have to offer? Well, here are some things to consider:

1. I just bought a pair of Vibram Five Finger shoes at zappos.com, and on top of being quite stylish, I think these babies are gonna add 1 to 2 inches to my vertical leap (a gain of 20 to 40 percent!)

2. Around the office, they call me "The Playmaker." I don't want to brag, but folks around here have seen me sprint to the parking lot at 4:55pm every day for nearly 4 years, and I can beat just about everyone. I will say that some of the shipping guys are pretty fast, but I get an extra boost of inertia with my excess body fat. Also, they tend to punch out right at 5pm. Regardless, let's just say it... I'm fast.

3. Just like the great Steve Emtman said in the 1994 feature film, "Little Giants," football is 80 percent mental, and 40 percent physical. Let me tell you---I have the mental part down pat. Not only did I win my fantasy league outright in 2003, I won (on average) around half my games, since. You don't get to the pinnacle of fantasy football without having a trick or two up your sleeve.

4. Finally, as a smart player I can guarantee you that I will never throw a haymaker punch on the field like Battle did last week. I just wouldn't let the fans & the team down like that.

Dabo... Coach Scott... Coach Morris: I'm here waiting for the second week in a row. Still taking the stairs at work, instead of the elevator. Still eating frosted, fruit-filled pop-tarts.. I'm ready when you need me.