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All-In [40344]
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I need a reality check
Sep 22, 2020, 7:39 AM
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Have people coming to install new washing machine today
I’ve been instructed by MIL that if she’s not here yet to help with the kids that I need to “hide” them upstairs because people are creeps
Obviously there’s no harm in doing so
My reality check question:
Is that extreme paranoia or a concern that most people have?
Cereal and joungy responses are welcome.
Bonus points if you have a recent real life tale of a worker coming back to abduct a child after being in the house
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CU Medallion [60034]
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MIL’s while super helpful
Sep 22, 2020, 7:40 AM
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and very loving to the children........are completely irrational and full of judgement.
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All-In [40344]
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We bought our house from them
Sep 22, 2020, 8:26 AM
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She comes over and I am judged constantly
I’ve pretty much just tuned it out and now have the mentality I’ll do whatever I want with my kids in my house and if they want a cookie at 10 AM, f it, they get a cookie.
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Lot o points [163012]
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T's and P's for Fluffchilds
Sep 22, 2020, 7:43 AM
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My wife hates being around when new appliances come and old ones go. Always seems to be an issue - marks on walls, doors, floors, etc. She would rather not know.
We never lost a kid to an installer to the best of my memory.
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Oculus Spirit [83625]
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only allow the children to contact installers...
Sep 22, 2020, 7:43 AM
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if installers need someone to show them where TP is in the bathroom.
But on the joking side, this fear is somewhat "normal" for women in this age. As long as you know where the children are and where the installers are at all times, you're good.
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Heisman Winner [105525]
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I once worked as a washing machine installer for Lowe's and
Sep 22, 2020, 7:44 AM
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I was 100% creepin on ANYONE I could find in the house. We used to have mutual JO sessions in the van headed to the next location if we found some cuties.
Nah fam, this is extreme paranoia. She has been on facebook too much looking at posts about child sex trafficking.
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All-In [40344]
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She ain’t got no Facebook
Sep 22, 2020, 8:31 AM
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Can barely send a text
She’s mid sixties and has irrational fears of just about everything
She used to watch the Oprah’s, Doctor Phil’s and Doctor Oz’s and would always have ridiculous ideas of what is safe and not safe
For example, she is afraid of all things plastic BPA’s, chemicals etc.
However she lets the kids play with all of the original childhood toys that lady fluff and her brother had growing up in the 80’s
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Lot o points [163012]
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On a unrelated installer question
Sep 22, 2020, 7:47 AM
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anyone tip these guys?
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Oculus Spirit [83625]
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I don't...
Sep 22, 2020, 7:49 AM
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I always offer water or soft drink, especially if they were in the bathroom a particularly long time with one of the children.
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Heisman Winner [119687]
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Heisman Winner [105525]
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Heisman Winner [137863]
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I tipped the washer/dryer guys $20. Got a check in the mail
Sep 22, 2020, 8:12 AM
[ in reply to On a unrelated installer question ] |
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yesterday for $2,229.24, which covers the appliances plus a few hundo. 'Member that whole leaking washer thing like 3 months ago? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
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All-In [40927]
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Heisman Winner [135568]
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Washing machine installers are notoriously crafty.
Sep 22, 2020, 7:52 AM
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They'll still find your children if their just upstairs, you need to whisk the kids away to a secret cabin deep in the woods with no visible road access, and hire Mexican roofers to guard them.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY.
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Heisman Winner [137863]
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One of the advantages of instantaneous internet news and the
Sep 22, 2020, 8:06 AM
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24 hour newscycle is that women finally have solid proof of what they long suspected: everybody in the world is trying to rape, pedophile, and brutally murder us.
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All-TigerNet [11628]
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Paranoia....
Sep 22, 2020, 8:08 AM
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I usually have to keep my kids from anyone who comes to the house because my kids wont shut up and let them work. They yap in their ear the time....
Want to see my nerf gun collection?
Look at this picture.
Look at this statue I made.
Watch me do this.
And on, and on, and on.
Get away from them and let them work.
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All-In [46816]
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The way to fix this is to have a bunch of kids
Sep 22, 2020, 8:09 AM
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like Greenr so if a few go missing, you don't really notice
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Oculus Spirit [85301]
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What really bothers me is when 5 little ducks go swimming
Sep 22, 2020, 8:16 AM
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one day....when mommy duck says quack quack quack, only 4 come back. Why the #### does she let them swim alone over and over until no little ducks come back? That is ###### up.
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All-In [40927]
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exctreme paranoia
Sep 22, 2020, 8:10 AM
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I'm assuming that you can take care of yourself and any children that may be around
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All-In [40344]
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According to just about anybody but her I can***
Sep 22, 2020, 8:34 AM
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Oculus Spirit [85301]
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If I wanted to abduct a children, seems I would take
Sep 22, 2020, 8:13 AM
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A different route.
Although, getting a look at a specific child, can sometimes create a freakish obsession.
I would think it would be applicable in older children though?
Would I hide my children, no. Should you, possibly.
Y'all remember that freak story about a guy seeing a girl get off the bus, then he murdered her parents and took off with her? Probably a lot of terrible stories like that.
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All-In [40927]
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Re: If I wanted to abduct a children, seems I would take
Sep 22, 2020, 8:15 AM
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Heisman Winner [135568]
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Oculus Spirit [97703]
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Your MIL is old. Probably watches the news all day***
Sep 22, 2020, 8:18 AM
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Oculus Spirit [75714]
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Dude, not only do you need to hide them upstairs, you need
Sep 22, 2020, 8:20 AM
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to remove any evidence that you even have a wife or kid. If one of the installers happens to be a woman, you need to remove any evidence that you even exist.
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Heisman Winner [135810]
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Appliance boxes are pretty big
Sep 22, 2020, 8:31 AM
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Prefect for hiding drugged kids in.
You should block in their truck with your car and do a head count before you let them leave.
On the plus side, you can make sure the kids heard your mother in law say this and you can say “hey you better ___ or I’ll let the appliance installers know you live here.”
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All-In [31887]
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My mom is the same way...she got on me the...
Sep 22, 2020, 8:34 AM
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other day for not being outside her house when my 12 yo/7th grade boy was shooting basketball by himself. She insisted he needed to be watched. I stared at her and asked her did she not remember how I was raised? I was an only child on a street with a lot of kids. I would leave the house after breakfast and come home at dark. I would ride my bike miles away from the house, etc...
She came back with "those were different times"...yeah...by the stats, much more violent and dangerous times. Stay off of facebook.
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Heisman Winner [135568]
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It's a different world today.
Sep 22, 2020, 8:40 AM
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Why, back in my day when I would ask my mom to take me somewhere, she would say "just catch a ride with the creepy guy in the windowless van, and take some razor blades with you to put in your own candy in case he doesn't have any".
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All-In [46816]
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Heisman Winner [135568]
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Plus...
Sep 22, 2020, 9:00 AM
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there's almost always a state trooper 6.5 inches away.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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6.5" away? From what I heard, that means he's barely halfwa
Sep 22, 2020, 9:11 AM
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in.
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All-In [31887]
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CU Medallion [64837]
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True. I'd tell your kids to hid under the deck, but IIRC
Sep 22, 2020, 9:21 AM
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it's sitting flat on the ground. Like directly on the freaking ground.
How is that thing holding up, btw?
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Heisman Winner [137863]
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And that's precisely the reason that argument doesn't
Sep 22, 2020, 8:59 AM
[ in reply to My mom is the same way...she got on me the... ] |
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work with women. Statistically, the world was less safe when we were kids. Logically, male brains can understand and process this. Since women employ emotion in lieu of logic, statistics are rendered meaningless, because THEY'RE ALL TRYING TO KILL US.
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Oculus Spirit [97703]
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My mom, I really feel bad for her.
Sep 22, 2020, 9:59 AM
[ in reply to My mom is the same way...she got on me the... ] |
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She lives alone, and has for some time now. She spent three weeks here and it was a living hell for me, my wife, and even our kids. But she calls me literally 5-10 times a day. NEVER anything good to say. ALWAYS a problem, a crisis, or something I have to fix or do, and she actually expects me to lay off work for 2 hours to drop everything and go do some crap for her that takes 20 seconds and 1.5 hrs of driving.
Sorry, it doesn't work that way. I ask her sometimes if HER MOTHER ever called her 5-10 times a day, at work, complaining about everything, and demanding she stop work and come do (insert stupid crap).
That usually makes her angry, and then buys me 2 days of peace. Then she's back at it.
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All-In [40344]
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Safety Status Update
Sep 22, 2020, 8:41 AM
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We’ve got the windows open because it’s cool
The kids are looking out and a stranger saw them in the window and waved, the horror, we’ve been exposed
Do I move or burn the house down?
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All-In [43656]
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She would be right of she was worried about
Sep 22, 2020, 8:48 AM
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you paying someone to install a washing machine.
Plug in, screw hot/cold water lines in.
Your kids could perform the install in 5 minutes.
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All-In [40344]
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Almost
Sep 22, 2020, 8:50 AM
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Bought local and not big box
Install, test, and haul old one out, possibly a $50 charge for that, but I don’t have the receipt in front of me
$50 is worth not breaking my back getting it up the stairs and arguing over how to get it in, PIVOT
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Oculus Spirit [79193]
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I keep em upstairs so that they stay TF out of the way
Sep 22, 2020, 8:55 AM
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otherwise they gonna be bombarding whoever with a million questions.
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Lot o points [155804]
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I would cut her some slack man.
Sep 22, 2020, 9:03 AM
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If she hasn't had anything delivered in a while, it's quite likely she doesn't realize that a lot of white guys deliver stuff these days too.
#racistMIL
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Oculus Spirit [83625]
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In complete racist fairness...
Sep 22, 2020, 9:08 AM
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it's usually not the back ones who molest the children
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Lot o points [155804]
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well, that's your problem.
Sep 22, 2020, 9:09 AM
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You're not thinking like a MIL.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Yea, but they're 10000x more likely to "turn them out"
Sep 22, 2020, 9:12 AM
[ in reply to In complete racist fairness... ] |
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Bet you forgot that PepperJack got his start delivering washing machines. Now he delivers hoes.
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All-In [40344]
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The repair guys that came to tell me it was dead were 50/50
Sep 22, 2020, 9:45 AM
[ in reply to I would cut her some slack man. ] |
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One had neck tats and my laundry room reeked of cigs for 2 days
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Oculus Spirit [79428]
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Are you not visibly armed when these people come over?
Sep 22, 2020, 9:52 AM
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I also like to prod around and get names/general area of where the people live....You know, just in case.
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CU Medallion [66039]
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My response:
Sep 22, 2020, 9:06 AM
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Is it paranoia ? Yes, yes it is. But paranoia gets a bad rap. Paranoia is a necessary tool for our survival. Paranoia is what makes a d-coordinator stay up watching for the slightest clue between a run and a pass. Paranoia is what fuels that extra mile in training. Paranoia is the fuel of an employee who can't leave work until everything is perfect.
Paranoia, unfortunately is also a silent killer. It's the reason why tweakers lose their minds.
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Lot o points [155804]
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Heisman Winner [105525]
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All-In [40344]
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Paranoia is the feeling
Sep 22, 2020, 9:47 AM
[ in reply to My response: ] |
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Of sitting at a Mellow Mushroom wondering if you’ll be stood up
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Real answer: depends on how objectively cute your kids are.
Sep 22, 2020, 9:19 AM
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Story time:
We grew up way out in the sticks with a 1/4 mile driveway. Parents left brother and I home all the time.
One time this truck pulled up when we were home alone (maybe 11-12 years old). Big fat redneck gets out, and rings the door bell. We hid under my parents bed.
Dude bangs on door, and we get our 20 gauge shotgun loaded and my dad's 12 gauge shotgun loaded.
Dude goes around peeking in every window and trying all the doors. We were ready to straight up end this dude's life.
We crawl to the phone and call my aunt who lives down the road. She showed up, struck up a conversation with the guy, doing some recon. She called us back and said, "It's one of your dad's friends from high school, his name is Jimbo Hodge (not his real name).
We dial up my dad and tell him the situation. He tells us that he barely knows Jimbo, that he hasn't talked to him since high school and he was a dirt poor orphan from what he remembered... not good.
So my aunt left, dude is still camping in our lawn, brother and I are keeping our sights on him... My mom eventually comes home. Jimbo introduces himself and comes inside the house, sits down at our dinner table and lights up a cigarette. He waits on my dad for a few hours, and half a pack of smokes... Nobody had ever smoked in our house before, btw.
Dad shows up, makes small talk, and the guy leaves. He visited once more a few years later, unanounced, and helped my dad pull his tractor out of a ditch. He died a few years later.
His legacy, his teal Dodge Ram that had "Hodge" written on the tailgate instead of Dodge.
/csb
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CU Medallion [60215]
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that's exactly how Pee Wee Gaskins operated***
Sep 22, 2020, 9:25 AM
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All-In [46816]
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Not really. He would pick up hitch hikers not show up
Sep 22, 2020, 9:28 AM
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randomly to your house.
Now his son would. That is until my dad threatened to kill him the next time he set foot on our property.
Message was edited by: FBCoachSC®
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CU Medallion [64837]
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All-In [40344]
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They are cute
Sep 22, 2020, 9:51 AM
[ in reply to Real answer: depends on how objectively cute your kids are. ] |
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Wife of says that’s the concern for many folks. Cute kids spotted by repair guy, he returns and kidnaps them.
Your story sounds pretty odd, glad y’all were strapped and nothing bad happened.
What did y’all do with his body?
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Oculus Spirit [79428]
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Man, imagine what could have happened if y'all were cute
Sep 22, 2020, 10:07 AM
[ in reply to Real answer: depends on how objectively cute your kids are. ] |
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kids. I think I worry more about somebody snatching mine at the mall parking lot or something while my wife scrolls through social media on her phone. Our dogs would kill somebody if they tried anything at the house.
Some of those contractors and stuff though....oof, I'd almost rather shoot them then let them on my property.
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