Dayum. Sorry your dad and family are going through this.

Oculus Spirit [97676]

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Yep. My dad has been in skilled nursing for over 2 years

Dec 15, 2018, 10:35 PM [ in reply to Re: My parents pay over $11,000 a month for health care ]

now. He can not walk, stand, or talk (much). He's legally blind and deaf. He can make a simple conversation on a good day. He has kidney failure (they're operating at 15-20%). He has diabetes. Congestive heart failure, and has been on and off of hospice several times. Also an unknown neurological condition that has literally crippled him. He can't do physical therapy because he can't follow instructions, plus his joints are frozen. He also has to be fed and can not feed himself.

Medicare does not pay for skilled nursing care, which he needs. My mother, and even I couldn't care for him. They have lifts, and equipment where he can be bathed and put in a wheelchair during the day. He can not go to the bathroom and has to be changed. I went by fed him supper tonight.

But no, medicare does not pay for skilled nursing care. Medicaid DOES pay for it if you're flat broke. But the facility charges are not covered. The nursing care is not covered. In fact, when you go into skilled nursing medicare stops paying for some of your medications. Hospice adds a nurse visit every day and pays for some medicine, but then other medicine is not covered when on hospice.

$269 a day is what his care costs. Then you have to add in about $1.5K a month in drugs medicare won't cover. Then you have my mother who is always in the doughnut hole. She pays about $1-2K a month for her insulin and other medications. Add it all up, and it's right at $11K.

They sold their house two years ago and have been using that money for the past two years. They've run through dad's retirement savings. Mom has her own which she's not touching. In another 6-8 months we will probably have to clear-cut timber to keep paying. Timber that was to be used for college for my three sons. After that there's a lakehouse to sell (where mom currently lives), and then the land the timber was on.

But if you do everything right, save your whole life, invest, and prepare for retirement, you will be killed by skilled nursing if you get Alzheimer's or something. Sit on your ### and collect SSD, or welfare, or whatever your whole life, and Medicaid WILL pay for skilled nursing. Once my parents are finally broke, having spent everything they worked for and saved for, medicaid will step in and pay.

Dad doesn't have alzheimers. He has something different. Worse really because his condition can fluctuate so wildly day to day. He does not know where he is, or anything about Clemson's football season. Some days he will sleep all day and barely open his eyes when it's bad. When he's doing well, he's up in a wheel chair and can talk some. He had a feeding tube for a year because he couldn't swallow. Swallowing came back thankfully but he still has trouble at times and his food goes from puree to solid depending on how well he's swallowing. Dad has been "qualified" for hospice for two years now, but he's not currently on it. We found hospice cuts out a lot of the (few) medications medicare still covers for him and keeping those maintenance medications (or an antibiotic if he gets a UTI for example) has to be paid for out of pocket on hospice. So we ended up spending more on hospice just to keep his regular meds going.

Dad does not have a DNR, and always wanted to be kept alive at all costs. Those were his wishes. But having seen what he's gone through, I've changed my will and medical power of attorney to include DNR. They're not even sure if whatever his condition is is genetic or hereditary or not. He's been to every hospital in Columbia, and been seen by every neurologist worth a #### in SC. Also been seen by neurosurgeons and neurologists at MCG. They're all stumped. Only other option is to head up to Duke and have genetic testing done (Medicare doesn't cover it and it's $8K). They can actually see where the disease appears in his DNA and at least identify it by genetic markers. But even then it would not provide a diagnosis. It could tell if it's hereditary or not. But at this point it's not even worth it. We've been told he's been tested for literally every neurological disease/disorder that exists. Identifying it in his DNA can lead to at least a very general diagnosis and understanding of the symptoms, but that's not really going to help anything.

In all fairness, I'm sure he's racked up well over a half million in medical bills that medicare DID cover before going into skilled nursing. He spent months in hospitals off and on for 2 years before even getting into skilled nursing. He's been in and out of ICU several times as well. Once with a bad heart rythm and CHF, and once with internal bleeding from the small intestine.

We have been told he will never get "better". His condition will get better and worse and fluctuate constantly, but they say overall it will be a very slow overall decline. His good days are not as good as they once were. His bad days are worse too. But I've seen a neurologist who said dad had maybe a month to live walk into the room a day after seeing him and pronounced a miracle as dad was awake and talked with him. So I'm done with doctors. They really are clueless about his condition. Brain wave testing shows his condition is basically like a constant state of being ALMOST asleep. He may appear to be sleeping, but is actually awake and aware. Then he may be awake, eyes opened, talk some, but otherwise is basically asleep with his eyes opened. That's how they explained it. It's like he's stuck right on the edge of sleep constantly.

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a much worse place and get much worse care. Second, it is a huge expense. If it was "free" from the government someone is going to be taxed on the $8k a month for everyone who needs it. Also, I've seen what the VA does for skilled nursing care, first hand, and it's horrendous.

Dad's going to get the care he needs regardless. It's not going to break the family. I'm fine. Kids are fine for college through other means. It's just something few people know about or keep in mind. Most of the time skilled nursing care is an end-of-life thing that lasts maybe a year, tops. Dad's a very unique case. But from a care/expense standpoint, and an emotional hardship standpoint, it's as bad as it gets.

Mom and I have medical power of attorney and we're both on the same page that dad's not going back to a hospital. He has been in God's hands for a year now and we will treat him for everything that can be treated where he is. He had had 3-4 UTI's. Basic stuff like that. But our fear is he goes downhill bad again and can't swallow. Assuming all his other vitals are ok, that places us with the decision to use a feeding tube or not, and that's a tough call knowing if you do it, there's a good chance he will get "better" again ans see another Christmas. Don't do it and he would spend several weeks slowly starving and shutting down. CHF, heart attack, stroke, another internal bleeding episode, kidney failure, those are things mom and I can agree on to let them progress. But if all is "fine" except swallowing, that's a tough call for me, and for her.

We let it ride once when he had a bad turn and couldn't swallow and thankfully in a week he started swallowing again. They just kept feeding him puree foods and he didn't get pneumonia. I think if he gets bad again we will just do the same. Don't do the tube, roll the dice feeding puree foods versus pneumonia, and hope he improves quickly. We've signed all kinds of custom agreements with the facility to let them bypass some specific things. In the past, they had to transfer him for a swallow study every time in order to change his diet back to solid foods. After 4 times of that we signed off that we would decide based on his condition and eating, rather than a medical test. It's $160 every time he goes to a doctor or for a swallow study, or anywhere.

Whatever he has, I'd place it somewhere worse than ALS or alzheimers just because there's no progression and always the hope and knowledge he will "improve" again, although not get better. When this thing first started in 2014 he spent 2 months in a hospital and we were told initially he would never pull through. They wanted him to be put on hospice, and that was it. But he did improve. After 2-3 moths of physical therapy he got to go home and even was able to drive again. That lasted almost a year and he went downhill again in 2016 and hasn't taken a step since.

But back to your point, he would be dead now and will not get to see the grand kids open that .410 from mom and dad this Christmas if he was in a government fun facility. That I know. I'm just hoping he has a good day Christmas. Just two weeks ago I talked to him for 20 minutes on the phone and had a decent conversation. Yesterday he couldn't complete a sentence.

When will the old folks on this board pay their fair share for medical costs?

Re: When will the old folks on this board pay their fair share for medical costs?

that’s not entirely true

Re: that’s not entirely true

Re: that’s not entirely true

Re: that’s not entirely true

Re: that’s not entirely true

Sounds like a good plan overall.

Re: Sounds like a good plan overall.

Re: that’s not entirely true

I pay well over 10% of my income for healthcare.

Things you’ve shared over time

Because you asked.

My parents pay over $11,000 a month for health care

Re: My parents pay over $11,000 a month for health care

Ouch

Yep. My dad has been in skilled nursing for over 2 years

Fudge Tiggity. Hate that your family is going through this

Thanks.***

Re: Yep. My dad has been in skilled nursing for over 2 years

regardless of the arguments on how to pay for it...

First off, when medicaid picks up, he will be transferred to

sorry your Dad and your family is going through this. You're

i paid a crap load of premiums when i was not needing

Ed Zachary

Shut up. Younger folk should pay more to make up for the

The only fix to this is a bad word to the older generation

Re: When will the old folks on this board pay their fair share for medical costs?

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