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i know i can count on the board for sound religious advice.
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i know i can count on the board for sound religious advice.


Sep 18, 2013, 11:24 AM

or at least comical responses.

my youngest son finally asked me why i don't go up to take communion with them on sundays.

the real answer is that i'm not a catholic. so my wife and sons go up while i keep the seat (and kneely thing) warm.

i told him we'd talk about it later. luckily his 7-year-old attention span kicked in and we never talked about it. but i'm sure to get the question again next time.

best possible responses, keeping in mind that he's 7 and his brother is 9?

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FAT TAX NOW!


Not catholic...not qualified to answer even comically.


Sep 18, 2013, 11:29 AM

hth

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Ooh... I got one.


Sep 18, 2013, 11:31 AM

Tell him this new Pope said you didn't have to abide by any of the church's teachings to go to heaven...just do what your conscience says. Why follow rules if you don't have to? #amirite

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I got another....tell him...


Sep 18, 2013, 11:54 AM

Your mom just enjoys having men shove things in her mouth...and I don't. You'll understand in a couple of years, boy.

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the problem is that the priest seems like he wants no part


Sep 18, 2013, 11:55 AM

of putting anything in a woman's mouth.

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FAT TAX NOW!


Yeah, I'd keep my young son away from him then.***


Sep 18, 2013, 11:56 AM



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my wife said something about the boys being alter boys


Sep 18, 2013, 1:48 PM

one time and i just gave her a look and said "do you really want to know what i think about that?" it has not come up again.

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FAT TAX NOW!


Re: i know i can count on the board for sound religious advice.


Sep 18, 2013, 11:29 AM

tell them that you spend Monday through Friday fighting Demons and Sunday morning is your day off.

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Tell him they use cheap assed wine.***


Sep 18, 2013, 11:30 AM



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We're friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You jump off a bridge, I get in my boat and save your retarded a$$.


tell him drinking is a sin


Sep 18, 2013, 11:35 AM

according to the Baptists ;)

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So Catholics don't let Protestants take communion?


Sep 18, 2013, 11:42 AM

That's rassist

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i was thinking about just going up there and starting to


Sep 18, 2013, 11:44 AM

take it. like i'm a common law catholic or something.

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FAT TAX NOW!


At my friends Catholic wedding he encouraged his non-


Sep 18, 2013, 1:13 PM

catholic friends to do it if we want to.

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not sure you should if you're not Catholic


Sep 18, 2013, 2:01 PM

but, I suppose, if you believe what protestants believe about communion, then it should be fine. On the other hand, you'd be misreprenting yourself to the other people in the church as a Catholic.

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Correct. One of the facets of the Chuch that does nothing


Sep 18, 2013, 12:42 PM [ in reply to So Catholics don't let Protestants take communion? ]

to instill better relations. Of course, I don't remember from my Baptist upbringing if they allowed anyone else to take communion. Them saltines and grape juice cost money you know.

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...I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party of men whatever in religion, in philosophy, in politics, or in anything else where I was capable of thinking for myself. Such an addiction is the last degradation of a free and moral agent.


baptists will pretty much let any Christian take communion..


Sep 18, 2013, 1:47 PM

although the SBC's Baptist Faith and Message says that baptism is prerequisite to church membership and the Lord's Supper. However, baptists have always been more ecumenical in their understanding of baptism, since they'll accept any adult baptism from another Christian church (and I've seen something somewhere that said that nearly all SBC ministers allow Christians who aren't church members to take communion).

But for baptists, communion is a tradition that is largely symbolic, rather than sacramental as it is in the Catholic Church. So it makes sense for Catholics not to offer communion to non- Catholics because the Catholic sacrament of communion is an actual and continual renewal of Christ's presence in the Church, which most protestants do not recognize. On the other hand, it also makes sense for baptists not to offer communion to people who hadn't been baptized into the church (such as cradle- Catholics), because they don't believe that the eucharist, itself, is a sacramental accomplishing of communion with Christ.

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tell him you were an All-American football player,


Sep 18, 2013, 11:52 AM

and yer knees hert too bad to get up and get back down again...hth

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If she's a hollerer, she'll be a screamer.
If she's a screamer, she'll get you arrested.


Cereal answer


Sep 18, 2013, 11:58 AM

Even though you cannot permitted to receive communion (sharing of the body and blood of Christ), you are free to go the the Minister to receive a blessing. You cross your arms over your chest as an indication that you wish to receive a blessing. My kids have not completed their First Holy Communion classes, but receive a blessing each mass.

Source: me

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thanks. had not thought of that. my wife and older son (who


Sep 18, 2013, 1:51 PM

has had first communion) take communion. but my younger son (who will have first communion this year) does what you described. maybe i can do that. or maybe i can just keep sitting down and protecting our stuff and avoiding the priest's stink eye. i been doing it for 10 years. why stop now. ;)

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FAT TAX NOW!


My wife (and by default) my daughter (for the time being)


Sep 18, 2013, 12:33 PM

are Catholic. So, weddings, mass for my in-laws' 50th anniversary, and funerals (although I haven't had to do a Catholic funeral as yet), I don't go up for communion.

Daughter has asked why I don't go to church. Answer: it's not my religion. She's currently 12. At some point, I assume we'll have a more detailed talk about what is my religion (or what is not). I don't want to influence her against accepting Catholicism (or Christianity or anything else), but at some point, I'll likely push a little more discussion prior to her Confirmation.

Oh yeah, kill the priest and burn the church down.

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...I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party of men whatever in religion, in philosophy, in politics, or in anything else where I was capable of thinking for myself. Such an addiction is the last degradation of a free and moral agent.


You take communion before ball games.


Sep 18, 2013, 1:11 PM

Or simply that you are not cathlolic.

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Like Soylet Green, a communion wafer is a people.***


Sep 18, 2013, 1:54 PM



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Here's what the US Bishops say about it:


Sep 18, 2013, 1:58 PM

Based on this, and my understanding of what communion is for protestants and for Catholics, I would tell him that you don't take communion because you're a member of a different church, and that, while you agree with the Catholic Church on the things that are most important, for you to take communion would mean you agree with everything the Catholic Church says (that you were literally "in communion" with the Catholic Church). Obviously saying that might require you to tell him what you don't agree with, but you could also look at that as an opportunity to talk seriously with him about Christ, and about the protestant belief that communion is a symbol of Christ's presence in the church, not that it is a sacrament that actually accomplishes it.

While you were doing that, you could put your differences in the context of communion: that you believe everybody ought to be in communion, and that you pray for that, but that there are some important differences that would keep you from becoming Catholic.

For Catholics

As Catholics, we fully participate in the celebration of the Eucharist when we receive Holy Communion. We are encouraged to receive Communion devoutly and frequently. In order to be properly disposed to receive Communion, participants should not be conscious of grave sin and normally should have fasted for one hour. A person who is conscious of grave sin is not to receive the Body and Blood of the Lord without prior sacramental confession except for a grave reason where there is no opportunity for confession. In this case, the person is to be mindful of the obligation to make an act of perfect contrition, including the intention of confessing as soon as possible (canon 916). A frequent reception of the Sacrament of Penance is encouraged for all.

For our fellow Christians

We welcome our fellow Christians to this celebration of the Eucharist as our brothers and sisters. We pray that our common baptism and the action of the Holy Spirit in this Eucharist will draw us closer to one another and begin to dispel the sad divisions which separate us. We pray that these will lessen and finally disappear, in keeping with Christ's prayer for us "that they may all be one" (Jn 17:21).

Because Catholics believe that the celebration of the Eucharist is a sign of the reality of the oneness of faith, life, and worship, members of those churches with whom we are not yet fully united are ordinarily not admitted to Holy Communion. Eucharistic sharing in exceptional circumstances by other Christians requires permission according to the directives of the diocesan bishop and the provisions of canon law (canon 844 § 4). Members of the Orthodox Churches, the Assyrian Church of the East, and the Polish National Catholic Church are urged to respect the discipline of their own Churches. According to Roman Catholic discipline, the Code of Canon Law does not object to the reception of communion by Christians of these Churches (canon 844 § 3).

For those not receiving Holy Communion

All who are not receiving Holy Communion are encouraged to express in their hearts a prayerful desire for unity with the Lord Jesus and with one another.

For non-Christians

We also welcome to this celebration those who do not share our faith in Jesus Christ. While we cannot admit them to Holy Communion, we ask them to offer their prayers for the peace and the unity of the human family.

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i married a catholic. in a catholic church. and my kids are


Sep 18, 2013, 2:03 PM

being raised catholic. i've been married 11 years and have thought about becoming catholic. but that #### takes like forever. i don't have that kind of time or energy. the upside is that catholics apparently get to wear NFL jerseys and flip flops to church. at least at our church they do.

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FAT TAX NOW!


I would say you should just go ahead and join


Sep 18, 2013, 2:17 PM

explain to the priest that you don't have enough time for some of the stuff they do, and I bet he'll make an accomodation.

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once he finds out i'm a lawyer and thinks i can write him a


Sep 18, 2013, 2:22 PM

fat check, i'm sure he'll be more than gracious. ;)

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FAT TAX NOW!


The last time I took communion the wafer burst into flames


Sep 18, 2013, 2:06 PM [ in reply to Here's what the US Bishops say about it: ]

as soon as it hit my tongue.

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Where is the Coot Minister when you need him?!


Sep 18, 2013, 2:10 PM

Come on Prod, set us all straight!! ;)

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he's not quite as ecumenical as I am on this stuff


Sep 18, 2013, 2:18 PM

;)

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speaking of which, whenever the priest sprinkles the holy


Sep 18, 2013, 2:13 PM

water on us, which is only on special occasions, i always want to yell out "IT BURNS!!" the wife doesn't find that joke funny either. catholics as a group aren't that funny.

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FAT TAX NOW!


Re: speaking of which, whenever the priest sprinkles the holy


Sep 18, 2013, 2:17 PM

I kind of want to be Catholic. Seems like the good life. Drink, have sex, murder someone and then just say sorry to the Priest and its all good. Being Methodist, all these things just make you feel guilty until next Sunday.

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oh, there's plenty of guild in the catholic church. in fact,


Sep 18, 2013, 2:23 PM

it's pretty much all guilt. lol

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FAT TAX NOW!


10 Sins or less...


Sep 18, 2013, 2:24 PM

Am Presbyterian who married a Catholic in 1973 in Inglewood, CA...

She would go up front to take communion while I kept the seat warm. One day she told me that you're really supposed to go to confession before receiving communion.

So, the next time we're at mass and she goes up, I asked my future brother-in-law if that was true... he said yes.

So my next question was... If you had 10 sins or less, which line do you get in? (mind you, this was a large church)

With a straight face, he replied... The one with the flashing statue...

Forgive me, but could not stop laughing the rest of mass

(BTW, was not allowed to receive communion at our wedding either)

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