Re: Party Friend Problems

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I went through the same thing a few years ago with one of

Mar 27, 2021, 5:01 PM

my best friends. While we all partied like rock stars back in the day, the rest of us eventually grew up, got married, and mellowed somewhat. My friend, on the other hand, had a string of "girlfriends" but never formed a lasting relationship of any kind, and instead piled up a steady string of DUIs, assualt and battery, sssaulting police officers, resisting arrest, a variety of drug charges, etc.. He'd buy a 12 pack of cold beer and set it on the kitchen table, never putting it in the fridge, because he'd drink it before it got warm. He'd get on a coke bender and stay up for days and the ash tray would overflow with cigarette butts (they'd be falling in the floor), and the vodka bottles would overflow the trash can. He was happy and everybody's friend when drunk or high, but avoided all social contact in between benders. The middle of the night phone calls became more and more frequent, and they went something like this: Phoine rings at 3:00 A.M., I answer, worried about elderly parents "Hello", but it's him. "Hey man, what's happenin'?" ME: "Dude, it's 3 oclock in the godamn morning, what do you think is happening?" HIM: "Oh man, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that. I didn't mean to wake you up. You know I kove you like a brother!". Then I'd just hang up. Often, the phone would ring again 30 minutes later, and we'd repeat the whole thing. Eventually I cornered him one day when he was sober, and told him I wanted to help him. I was goung to set up all of the arrangements for rehab so that all he had to do was ride with me to the facility, sign the paper, and check in. He got pissed, cussed me out and told me to leave - said he didn't need any help. When I got home, the phone was ringing (early cell phone era), and he said he was sorry, he knew he needed help and he would go. I made the arrangements and was to pick him up at 7:00 the next morning and take him in. I showed up as planned, but he wasn't ready. Instead, he'd been up all night drinking and doing coke. I knew I had done all I could, and I had to walk away. I never spoke to him again. Sadly, I found out that he died of a massive heart attack about 10 years later. I really can't believe he made it that long, but my consience was clear. I really tried, but he didn't want it, he didn't want to get better. It was his choice. It was affecting my life, and I had to walk away.

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"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard."
- H. L. Mencken

which was another reason to walk away. In the 80s, he became enamored with the Scarface movie, and somehow procured an Uzi. He showed up at a couple of parties, Uzi in tow, and guess what? It accidentally "went off" inside friend's houses, leaving holes in walls and floors on two different occasions. Thankfully nobody was hurt. Like I said, this was at a time when some of us had started marrying and having kids and such, so this shid was totally unacceptable. He also had a pilot's licence and was an experienced parachutist, and he often talked about wanting to make drug runs from south of the border. He never did, but he was serious about doing it. I know of one time when he chased a guy down and stabbed him in the middle of the street (another alcoholic drinking buddy) who tried to steal his beer. That's when he picked up his first "assaulting a police officer" charge too. Shortly thereafter, since he had no license and was drunk, he had another one of our good friends drive him to the local 7-11 to buy beer. While crazy drunk friend goes into the store, other buddy, who later told me the story, waits in the car. A man with wife and kids parks beside him, and gets out to go into the store, just as drunk friend is exiting with his beer. They bump into each other, words are exchanged, and drunk friend slams this poor guy through the plate glass on the front of the store, shaterring glass everywhere. Drunk friend jumps in the car and other buddy drives off in a panic.

You try to help, but if they refuse, this is why you walk away and don't look back. Don't answer the phone. Don't go to the door. Don't respond, don't acknowledge. Walk away. This guy was the smartest guy in our friend group growing up. Went to Auburn on scholarship and graduated with honors with degree in chemistry. He was a truly nice, caring guy. But the addiction was stronger than he was - no contest, and it changed him completely.

Party Friend Problems

Serious answer

Thanks man. I like

What Cata said***

That’s tough. As Cata said though ....

When I walked through his kitchen