|
Replies: 54
| visibility 1
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
During another typical weekend, I was reminded that I've
Dec 21, 2020, 1:47 PM
|
|
never met my wife's brother's son. The son is 18 months old.
Not having any nephews or nieces from my family, I guess I fail to see why this is conversation worthy, but oh...it is. There aren't many grown ups I prefer to spend my free time with; certainly less is someone that can't understand English and may vomit or #### on me at any given moment. I guess I just don't get the big deal.
I will own not really trying hard (er, at all) to go meet this young man, but the parents also haven't made any attempts to bring the child to me, either, I'm thinking this is at least a 60/40 issue. And I'm not sure that the kids parents give a chit one way or the other, so why should anyone else? Wife's brother is a large reason why I don't travel to her families house during the holidays, so there's that added drama.
So is not "meeting" someone's toddler a big deal? All opinions both great and small appreciated.
|
|
|
|
 |
Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
|
After reading this post I’ve decided to not let you meet my
Dec 21, 2020, 1:48 PM
|
|
toddler, either.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
That seems fair.
Dec 21, 2020, 1:50 PM
|
|
For everyone involved.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heisman Winner [137803]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63760
Joined: 10/22/00
|
It sounds you would make an absolutely horrific pedophile.
Dec 21, 2020, 1:50 PM
|
|
Just really, really bad at your job.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [79125]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24912
Joined: 8/29/12
|
Personally, I think you're a horrible human being
Dec 21, 2020, 1:58 PM
|
|
butt it has little to do with not meeting this toddler.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
From what I heard, you are not alone in that observation***
Dec 21, 2020, 2:01 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [79125]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24912
Joined: 8/29/12
|
never change***
Dec 21, 2020, 2:08 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
I'm old.
Dec 21, 2020, 2:09 PM
|
|
It only gets worse from this point.
|
|
|
|
|
|
CU Medallion [56005]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 31617
Joined: 8/27/02
|
Each day's better than the next.***
Dec 21, 2020, 2:35 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
Some weeks yes, some weeks notsomuch***
Dec 21, 2020, 2:49 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heisman Winner [105470]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65168
Joined: 12/2/02
|
Has your wife met her nephew? Does she get along with her
Dec 21, 2020, 2:01 PM
|
|
brother? Do they live nearby?
Not meeting your nephew, even by marriage, would be super weird in my family but we are all relatively close.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
Re: Has your wife met her nephew? Does she get along with her
Dec 21, 2020, 2:05 PM
|
|
She has seen the child several times. They don't seem to be super close, but they talk occasionally. They live about an hour away, by lowcountry standards is probably 40 miles.
So that's weird, huh? Interesting. I guess i could see it if the child could actually hold a conversation or something...but if I meet him today and die tomorrow, he won't ever remember meeting me. I guess that's why I'm all "meh..whats the big deal?" Which, BTW, was apparently the wrong thing to say.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heisman Winner [105470]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65168
Joined: 12/2/02
|
Are you missing other normal human emotions or just
Dec 21, 2020, 2:10 PM
|
|
familial love?
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
I'm not 100% certain.
Dec 21, 2020, 2:15 PM
|
|
I can take or leave the brother, his wife is nice enough I guess.
So I guess this really is a thing, huh? I gotta admit, I'm clearly lost here on why it matters.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heisman Winner [105470]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65168
Joined: 12/2/02
|
Are you asking if loving others is a thing?
Dec 21, 2020, 3:14 PM
|
|
Or loving children?
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
neither
Dec 21, 2020, 3:19 PM
|
|
I was asking if not gong to see a child that I am peripherally related to by marriage is a big thing.
|
|
|
|
|
|
CU Medallion [60205]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 42549
Joined: 11/30/98
|
Upside: you're way, way down the babysitting list
Dec 21, 2020, 2:03 PM
|
|
my advice is to stay that way until kid is at least 5 or 6.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heisman Winner [135496]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 91600
Joined: 12/6/98
|
This is really the only way to look at it...
Dec 21, 2020, 2:13 PM
|
|
If you didn't wipe the kid's butt when he was young, you can't expect him to wipe your butt when you're old.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
Is that something that someones nephew by marriage
Dec 21, 2020, 2:16 PM
|
|
would ever do?
I'm expecting a poorly paid state employee to do that at least once every 2-3 weeks, whether it needs it or not.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heisman Winner [135496]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 91600
Joined: 12/6/98
|
Maybe not, but who knows?
Dec 21, 2020, 2:41 PM
|
|
Family is a weird, weird thing.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heisman Winner [105470]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65168
Joined: 12/2/02
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heisman Winner [135496]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 91600
Joined: 12/6/98
|
Been trying to get the band to play that one for a long time***
Dec 21, 2020, 4:18 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CU Medallion [65983]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24689
Joined: 6/12/14
|
JFC, Ineligible
Dec 21, 2020, 2:15 PM
|
|
you must have a miserable life
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
Why's that?
Dec 21, 2020, 2:17 PM
|
|
Up until recently its been pretty good.
|
|
|
|
|
|
CU Medallion [65983]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24689
Joined: 6/12/14
|
It's family, man
Dec 21, 2020, 2:21 PM
|
|
so go see the kid, I mean, he's your nephew. And I know you aren't all about kids, but at least try
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rock Defender [53]
TigerPulse: 90%
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/30/98
|
Knowing IE, he'd give the little bugger Covid and move
Dec 21, 2020, 2:22 PM
|
|
even further down the familial shitlist.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
Re: Knowing IE, the little bugger would give ME Covid
Dec 21, 2020, 2:35 PM
|
|
And I'd have some lifelong heart condition because of it.
All because I had to meet an 18 month old.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
See, thats the good thing about friends.
Dec 21, 2020, 2:22 PM
[ in reply to It's family, man ] |
|
I can pick my friends.
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-In [42736]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 10405
Joined: 3/1/18
|
It's not that weird, I've never met him either.***
Dec 21, 2020, 2:19 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
I don;'t know who you are, so I'm sure if that's good or bad***
Dec 21, 2020, 2:21 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CU Medallion [65983]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24689
Joined: 6/12/14
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
Its OK; he's not even 2 years old yet. I don't think he's
Dec 21, 2020, 2:24 PM
|
|
started networking or anything yet.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heisman Winner [135496]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 91600
Joined: 12/6/98
|
Before we rule ME out as having not met him...
Dec 21, 2020, 2:45 PM
[ in reply to And I thought you were the best of us ] |
|
let's confirm that he wasn't the kid picking his nose while at the same time waving at me in Walmart yesterday. This would have been in the produce section, if that helps.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
I can't 100% be sure.
Dec 21, 2020, 2:48 PM
|
|
I haven't actually seen the kid in person, so I have no idea.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [79125]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24912
Joined: 8/29/12
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heisman Winner [137803]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63760
Joined: 10/22/00
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [75682]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 108835
Joined: 10/26/03
|
You've gotta go and see the baby.
Dec 21, 2020, 2:52 PM
|
|
insert Seinfeld.jpg
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
it's breathtaking***
Dec 21, 2020, 3:00 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-In [43603]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 18049
Joined: 4/24/15
|
Does this kid live near you?
Dec 21, 2020, 3:15 PM
|
|
90 miles away? Or 3 hours and/or out of state?
If the kid lives near you, nah...doesn't make you a horrible person. It just means you DGAF about your family. That's all, really.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
About an hour away***
Dec 21, 2020, 3:20 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-In [45663]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23774
Joined: 2/1/99
|
Maybe they don't bring him to see you.....
Dec 21, 2020, 3:23 PM
|
|
because they know you. hth
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
Thats fine; I'm not the one that has a problem with
Dec 21, 2020, 3:29 PM
|
|
not meeting him.
But here I am, having to fix someone else's problem again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Orange Blooded [4699]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 2189
Joined: 5/21/05
|
Do you have like aspergers or something?
Dec 21, 2020, 3:38 PM
|
|
Seems like you don't really follow or understand social norms, which is fine.
But sometimes if you can't figure out who the A**hole is...
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [79400]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63266
Joined: 10/30/05
|
But isn't that a two way street?
Dec 21, 2020, 3:54 PM
|
|
When is my turn to be indignant because people won't drive hours to come to my house and see my child? I'm kinda on the other end of the situation here, everybody wants to see my son, but they all seem to expect us to drive to them.
"Y'all don't live that far, come on by so we can see that boy!". Hmm, why don't you come on by?? Do I get to start making passive aggressive comments about not getting to see people because I refuse to leave my home on the holidays? I suspect not.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
Not that I am aware
Dec 21, 2020, 3:57 PM
[ in reply to Do you have like aspergers or something? ] |
|
Who knows, maybe covid gave it to me.
I'm not sure how this makes me an a-hole though. I mean there are so many other things that could..but this?
I'm no closer to these people than the neighbor's two doors down I've never met. If anything, I've waved at those folks a few times, so in some respects, I may even be closer to them.
Once, a few years ago, we (my wife and I) visited her parents and stayed overnight for Christmas. Her brother made a huge deal about having to give up the FROG bedroom he was in. This was pre-child, and his wife wasn't there. He didn't say anything directly to me, but I could hear stuff being thrown around and a lot of Eff bombs being dropped. After that, he came down the steps, mumbled a hello and left for the night-I didn't see him again.
From that point on, I decided 1) I'm not going somewhere that I'm not wanted and 2) I'm not going out of my way for someone who is an a-hole to me. I mean I didn't really want to go up there to begin with; I just did it to please my wife. After that I decided I'd rather just stay home by myself with the dogs and watch tv on the couch for a couple days.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [78831]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 26421
Joined: 12/6/98
|
Finished Room Over Garage
Dec 21, 2020, 4:34 PM
|
|
I looked it up!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [79400]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63266
Joined: 10/30/05
|
I genuinely have never been able to understand why some
Dec 21, 2020, 3:41 PM
|
|
people feel obligated to bend over backwards to see/accommodate family members who have never reciprocated it in the slightest. My wife and I have the battle every year regarding some of her extended family. Why do we have to go there? Why can't they come here? We didn't invite people to our wedding because we hadn't spoken to them in a year, why don't we apply that standard to holiday get togethers?
I don't think I'll ever be able to understand why some people care about people who don't care about them. It's OK that they don't care about my life, but why do I have to pretend I care about theirs? They could fall off the face of the earth tomorrow and it would make zero difference in our day to day lives....Yet there we are every Thanksgiving for some reason.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
I feel like Lakebum is the only one here that gets it***
Dec 21, 2020, 3:50 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Orange Blooded [4356]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 2868
Joined: 1/18/03
|
Raises hand***
Dec 21, 2020, 4:59 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [78831]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 26421
Joined: 12/6/98
|
I don't think it is a big deal
Dec 21, 2020, 3:54 PM
|
|
It is also currently a pandemic so don't rush over there
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
No worries in that***
Dec 21, 2020, 3:57 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Legend [16722]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 16758
Joined: 8/19/04
|
Re: During another typical weekend, I was reminded that I've
Dec 21, 2020, 4:41 PM
|
|
Take the high road and send the little fellow a Christina’s gift. And Send her brother a bottle of liquor.
Next move is theirs.
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-In [40656]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23591
Joined: 1/29/05
|
Yeah, you're just a massive #######
Dec 21, 2020, 4:51 PM
|
|
But we already knew that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-In [40875]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 42930
Joined: 11/30/98
|
wow, you are wrong
Dec 21, 2020, 4:53 PM
|
|
admit it and your life will be better
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [80998]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 56072
Joined: 9/13/04
|
So I guess we'll put you on the "its a big deal" vote
Dec 21, 2020, 5:11 PM
|
|
Maybe me not having kids is why it's not so obvious to me. Or, maybe kms16312 is right and I have Asperger's.
Whatever.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Replies: 54
| visibility 1
|
|
|
50
