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Topic: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly
Replies: 25   Last Post: Jun 21, 2021, 10:04 AM by: Mighty Zep®
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Replies: 25  

My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly

emoji_events [13]
Jun 18, 2021, 2:43 PM
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budgeting meeting. We have a bunch of anniversaries coming up and are having a headache figuring out the raise situation, with inflation being a bit out of control. One girl's rent just went up to $400.00 which is like a 10% raise for her.

Anyway, I asked my employers If they believed in meritocracy, in that the most capable and productive employees should get the highest raises. They agreed. I proposed that employees all take a Wonderlic test because it really is a good measure of mental acuity and time management. We need to know how people are going to perform under pressure, and if they can budget their time in a way that yields the highest score. I said that this should extend beyond raises, but be a measure of total compensation, and this includes all members of management.

Anyways, I already scored a 46 going into the meeting, and several of the kids in the office are in the low 40's. I do not think my boss can even use a computer fast enough to take this test, and that should definitely impact his compensation. I have 11 of the 12 unappointed employees in favor of this move. Management is just going to have to make a decision if they intend to keep us around or do all of the work themselves.

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Re: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly

emoji_events [10]
Jun 18, 2021, 2:47 PM
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No wonder I can’t get turkey or Swiss in less than an hour at Food Lion, you guys are behind the counter trying to split the atom. Just turn on the slicer and do your job!

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Re: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly

emoji_events [6]
Jun 18, 2021, 2:49 PM
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exactly, If I can make 4 sandwiches in 15 minutes, and betty can make 3 sandwiches in 12 minutes, while betty makes 8.15 per hour and I make 8.40. Who is the more cost-effective employee?

If you can not answer at least 40 of these inside of 30 minutes, then you should not be allowed in the door, let alone get a paycheck.. It is about time we start hiring smart people to do the smart jobs.

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Re: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly

emoji_events [5]
Jun 18, 2021, 2:54 PM
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It depends. Did she ever get the missing hand a hook or a claw?

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The Worst Thig To Do Is....

emoji_events [6]
Jun 18, 2021, 2:58 PM
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ask your wife to make you a sandwich while she's mowing the lawn . Fishing is tiresome yah' know .

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Re: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly

emoji_events [7]
Jun 18, 2021, 3:04 PM
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Well, this is an interesting problem.

Appears to me that it costs $1.90 in labor for every sandwich you make and $1.84 for every one Betty makes.

I hate to break it to you Balm, but looks like you are overpaid.

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Re: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly

[3]
Jun 18, 2021, 3:17 PM
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$%&#.

Scratch that.

Actually Balm, you make 1.90 sandwiches/dollar, while Betty makes 1.84.

So you are the star employee.

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Re: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly

[4]
Jun 18, 2021, 5:32 PM
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let me guess, you got a 23 on the wonderlic?

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Re: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly

[1]
Jun 19, 2021, 2:47 PM
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This is the biggest debacle of my Tnet career.

My only defense is correcting it quickly.

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Re: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly

[2]
Jun 18, 2021, 3:28 PM
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Well, Betty had to get out all the stuff to make her samwiches. The first one took 4.5 minutes, the second 4 minutes and the last one 3.5 minutes. Given the increase in momentum in Betty making dem samwiches, pretty sure she would make the next one in under three minutes, that is, if she doesn’t have to answer her cell phone or get distracted by some dude.

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Betty makes sandwiches faster for me….

[1]
Jun 19, 2021, 8:49 AM
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Since we started dating. Sometimes she gives me a little extra provolone….

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pics of betty?***


Jun 21, 2021, 10:04 AM
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TBalm by the end of the day today:

emoji_events [10]
Jun 18, 2021, 3:16 PM
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Re: TBalm by the end of the day today:

emoji_events [7]
Jun 18, 2021, 3:24 PM
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It will go better for him if he wears shoes.

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Re: TBalm by the end of the day today:

emoji_events [6]
Jun 18, 2021, 3:26 PM
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I just want to know who puts the jelly in the doughnut. That person should be paid the highest because you have to nail that thing in the center every time.

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Great point!


Jun 19, 2021, 9:02 AM
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That is exactly the way it worked when I was a star in the adult film industry.

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Great point!


Jun 19, 2021, 9:02 AM
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That is exactly the way it worked when I was a star in the adult film industry.

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How long is the inseam of your boss person’s shorts?

emoji_events [7]
Jun 18, 2021, 3:32 PM
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Other than that, I have no questions nor comments at this time.

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Re: How long is the inseam of your boss person’s shorts?***

emoji_events [5]
Jun 18, 2021, 3:33 PM
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Gross man! What’s wrong with you???

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Re: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly

[3]
Jun 18, 2021, 3:53 PM
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My boss says I suffer from Dunning-Kruger Syndrome, but he’s a moron and as usual, I’m right.

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Re: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly

[3]
Jun 18, 2021, 5:33 PM
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that is half of tnet my friend. I think Francis Marion® offered definitive proof when he was able to accurately calculate the average IQ in this country at 98, and I believe him.

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Re: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly


Jun 18, 2021, 3:53 PM
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My boss says I suffer from Dunning-Kruger Syndrome, but he’s a moron and as usual, I’m right.

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Re: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly

[2]
Jun 18, 2021, 3:59 PM
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Another way is to make raises based on how everyone fares in a foot race

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Re: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly


Jun 19, 2021, 10:00 AM
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Nah um let's not do that. That just wouldn't be white...I mean right

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Re: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly


Jun 19, 2021, 10:06 AM
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But wouldn't that just de-feet the purpose?

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Re: My Clemson Boss' and I just finished our quarterly


Jun 20, 2021, 7:37 PM
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The sandwich robot is on the way. It can make 60 in 15 minutes.

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