After reading MFO's jalapeno post, I'm reminded of a story a friend of mine told me.
His then recent bride was cooking a jalapeno cheese casserole and had him chopping up fresh jalapenos.
He stopped to take a bathroom break and of course he did not wash his hands prior to establishing his aim.
Not long after his departure to the restroom his wife heard him screaming and running to the other bathroom with the tub. By the time she got there, he was stripped down and trying to hold the inflamed parts under the tub faucet. The running water had little effect, so (still screaming) told his wife to fetch the milk from the fridge. After pouring the contents of the milk jug over the still burning area there was no appreciable relief. She then calls the doctor who could barely hide his amusement as she explained the emergency. He told her that there was not much the patient could do other than wait it out.
I'm very appreciative of him sharing that story because I often make pickled jalapeno and I now always wear gloves for the chopping of the peppers.
On the subject of hot peppers, Mike Rowe (Dirty Jobs) has a great podcast with the Carolina Reaper guy from Fort Mill.
The 80's. We carried it outside and Coach hosed it down and added some type of disinfectant which made it into slip and slide. We all slid back and forth having a good old time until it hit us all about the same time. You heard a bunch of hollering and we all ran to the shower ripping clothes off trying to rinse that disinfectant off!!!