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Topic: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted
Replies: 38   Last Post: Oct 22, 2021, 1:03 PM by: MyfavOrange®
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Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

emoji_events [36]
Oct 21, 2021, 6:34 PM
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awhile back that my 96 year old mother in law is in the early stages of dementia / Alzheimers. She has advanced to the point now where she is combative, and physically lashing out at her son, who is her live-in primary caregiver. As you might imagine, having his mother in this state is taking a huge physical and mental toll on him as well.

Let me first say that my wife visits her daily, for most of the day, and we know beyond any shadow of a doubt that she is imagining all the perceived problems with her son. It is just this infernal disease talking and acting.

We are caught in that unenviable position of not being financially able to put her into a nursing home, even if she would agree to go. Home Health nursing comes by once a week, to at least monitor her physical well being.

Our only short term option is for my wife to move in for some period of time, to give my brother in law some time away, if he will take it. But, then, we risk her mother transferring all the irrational hate to her. There is no good answer for this situation. God will take ma in His Own Time. Until then, we need all the prayers that anyone is willing to lift up for us.

This disease is so much worse than any physical ailment. When your mind goes, and you truly lose who you have been your whole life, it is a terrible thing to even witness from the outside, and much worse than that when it is a loved one.

Thank you to all who took the time to read this message. May God Bless you and your family, and never visit this on you.

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

emoji_events [6]
Oct 21, 2021, 6:51 PM
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You've got my prayers 76. We've gone through some aspects of this with both our moms but not to this degree. It is very heart breaking and frustrating.

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

emoji_events [6]
Oct 21, 2021, 6:52 PM
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Went through the same thing with Dad. He passed at 80. Class of 49. God Bless you and your family. Prayers for strength, comfort and healing.

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

emoji_events [5]
Oct 21, 2021, 6:52 PM
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Praying for you brother. It is so hard when they stop thinking rationally. Stay strong and support your wife and brother in law. God never gives us more than we can handle, but sometimes it sure seems like it is.

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It's such a horrible disease

emoji_events [7]
Oct 21, 2021, 6:56 PM
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Those who are the caregivers have the worst of it. That's not to diminish the toll on the patient, but the caregiver is in the position of dealing with someone they love who no longer has any idea who they are and all the confusion and bitterness from the patient resulting in that. It's tragic

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Re: It's such a horrible disease

[4]
Oct 21, 2021, 6:59 PM
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Ma has pretty much turned completely against her son now. She threatens to call the police on him, for NO reason. She fell down this evening, and physically started slapping him when he tried to help her get up. Thankfully, all she did was bruise her shin. She could have broken a hip, or something else, which would really have compounded things.

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As a pastor I've sadly dealt with this far to often

emoji_events [5]
Oct 21, 2021, 7:15 PM
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one word of advice FWIW. In these situations, unless you truly are a trained medical professional equipped to deal with these things, there is a time to understand professional care is the only option. I'm no proponent for putting people in to facilities, as there are far to many there who don't need to be simply because families don't want to deal with it. But when you've done all you can, and done the right thing, there is a time where it's for the best for everyone. Only you and your family can determine when that time is in consultation with professionals. It's a situation I would wish on my worst enemy

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Would not wish***

[4]
Oct 21, 2021, 7:21 PM
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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

emoji_events [5]
Oct 21, 2021, 6:56 PM
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Prayers for your family we had this but on a smaller scale very tough mental on all

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

emoji_events [5]
Oct 21, 2021, 7:00 PM
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Your family is in my prayers. It is such a heartbreaking thing for all involved. May the Lord grant you all peace and comfort.

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Re: Prayers for your MIL that her actions would change for

emoji_events [5]
Oct 21, 2021, 7:03 PM
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the better and she would be comforted. Prayers also for those providing care for her that God would provide the comfort needed and strength to handle these circumstances.

May God Bless each of you!

Go Tigers!
Okie Tiger

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When the crisis arises the time for preparedness is past.


Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

emoji_events [5]
Oct 21, 2021, 7:04 PM
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Prayers to you and your family. My brother took the attacks from our Mom but it returned to normal within about 6 months and stayed good until she passed.

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[4]
Oct 21, 2021, 7:18 PM
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You got it!

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[4]
Oct 21, 2021, 7:21 PM
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Praying for all of you. My father-in-law had early stages but died of COPD (85 yrs) before it got too bad. Even in it's early stages it's tiring, I can't imagine how difficult it is now.

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[3]
Oct 21, 2021, 7:28 PM
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Prayers for all!

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You got it 76....

[4]
Oct 21, 2021, 7:45 PM
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Prayers sent from Mt Pleasant. I'm so sorry........I pray it gets better for all of you. Keep us updated

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Prayers and praise!

[3]
Oct 21, 2021, 9:07 PM
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Mercies and thanks for your loving family!

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Prayers for all involved.***

[4]
Oct 21, 2021, 7:45 PM
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Take care, stay well and see you soon in The Valley!


Our family dealt with this with my Mother over

[3]
Oct 21, 2021, 7:54 PM
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20 years ago, and it was heartbreaking to watch her regression.

Usually, the anger/frustration is directed at the closest to the afflicted, in our case toward my Dad and sister. We were fortunate, as my Dad was in great health, as was my sister, and were able to provide primary care at home. My younger brothers and I assisted frequently, but the main care came from my Dad and sister.

It seemed as if the disease progressed in stages, for eventually, my Mother lost physical mobility and mental agility, which eased up on the agression.

Regrettably, a month after Mother's death, my sister was diagnosed with and underwent treatment for cancer. A year-and-a-half later, we lost Dad to cancer. I remain convinced that both their subsequent illnesses were due to the physical, mental and emotional stress they underwent in my Mother's care.

Hence, a lot of the advice and well-wishes from our TigerNet friends are worthy and considerate. Your thinking is well-reasoned, also, and certainly worthy of close discussion with your wife and other family members.

I will offer my prayers on your family's behalf along with my best wishes.


Message was edited by: hartins®


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I am praying

[4]
Oct 21, 2021, 7:57 PM
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??????

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[3]
Oct 21, 2021, 8:08 PM
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It is the very definition of being between a rock and a hard place. Praying that your family can find a little soft place in this maddening disease.

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[3]
Oct 21, 2021, 8:19 PM
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Prayers for your wife, brother-in-law, mother-in-law, and you, 76. It’s a horrible disease that robs people of their precious memories and personality, and takes such a toll on the care givers. We believe my mother-in-law is in the early stages of dementia/Alzheimer’s. She and my father-in-law are both in denial about it.
We’re worried they will have to go through all of their savings to care for her because they would never buy long term insurance.
God bless you and your family.

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[3]
Oct 21, 2021, 8:25 PM
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Done! Prayers for you and your family.

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"My body stunk but I kept my funk"- 'Every Picture Tells A Story, Don't It'


God bless you and your family. Prayers up!***

[3]
Oct 21, 2021, 8:28 PM
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"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard."
- H. L. Mencken


Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[3]
Oct 21, 2021, 8:30 PM
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Prayers given here 76.

I know exactly what you’re going through. I won’t sit here typing out advice other than to say, as sad as it is, it’s critically important you keep your sense of humor. It truly helps.

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You absolutely have my prayers.

[3]
Oct 21, 2021, 8:36 PM
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I’m so sorry.

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Cobbox on Brad Brownell: “His only problem is he has to deal with turd fans questioning every move he makes.”


Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[3]
Oct 21, 2021, 8:40 PM
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Just prayed for you and your family. God bless you 76.

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[3]
Oct 21, 2021, 8:45 PM
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Praying for you and your family. Feel your pain, it is an awful disease.

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[3]
Oct 21, 2021, 8:56 PM
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Praying for all of you. We went through similar circumstances with my father a year ago.

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Done***

[3]
Oct 21, 2021, 9:25 PM
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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[3]
Oct 21, 2021, 9:33 PM
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Prayers for you and everyone in the family. This is indeed a terrible disease.

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[3]
Oct 21, 2021, 11:35 PM
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Praying for you and your wife and her family during this extremely difficult time.

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[3]
Oct 22, 2021, 12:40 AM
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Prayers said.

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"It is not part of a true culture to tame tigers any more than it is to make sheep ferocious."
--Henry David Thoreau


Happily praying for y'all. God Blless you all. <3 ***********

[3]
Oct 22, 2021, 1:35 AM
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You’ve got my prayers . . .

[3]
Oct 22, 2021, 1:47 AM
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for Ma and her care givers!!!
You all are loved and are special!!!!!!!

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[4]
Oct 22, 2021, 6:23 AM
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I am so sorry you are going through this. I lost my mom to dementia three years ago. The first thing that I learned is that dementia is a fatal disease. People that are stricken usually last around 10 years. I read that you stated your mother in law is 96 with early stages of dementia/Alzheimer’s. A couple of things. I am sorry to say this but, she is going to get worse. She will try to hurt her care givers. Your wife is going to have to step in and help her brother. He is not going to be able to handle this on his own. My brother lived with my mother which allowed us to keep her at home as long as we did. My mother adored my brother. He was her favorite child. At the end my mom was trying to break my brother’s bones. I had to take time off from teaching to help my brother. So yes, your wife is going to have to get involved for her mother’s safety and her brother’s sanity.

Your mother in law is going to get to the point where she cannot be safely kept at home. You said that she fell so it appears that she is mobile. If she can walk, she will try to get out of the house. Work on door locks/alarms immediately. Control all vehicle keys, knifes, firearms, and whatever else can be used to hurt someone. You stated that Home Health is involved. Ask them whatever resources are available because you are going to need help. You need a case manager, advocate working with you.

Your mother in law has made it to 96 and could be here for awhile. You have got to come up with a plan B for care outside the home. Try to get her qualified for Medicaid. If she qualifies, she will eventually be eligible for a Medicaid bed in a nursing home. If she does not qualify, her assets are going to come into play. You need a lawyer that specializes in this stuff. The house has to be out of her name for five years. I know that she is 96 but, she could survive that long. We went ahead and moved the house out of mama’s name and made it 3.5 years. We eventually had to place her in assisted living. She made it less than two months there before she passed. We had to pay for it out of pocket.

I am praying for all of you. I hate dementia/Alzheimer’s. Both are such terrible diseases.

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[2]
Oct 22, 2021, 7:44 AM
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Probably the best laid out advice I've heard. Anyone dealing with this situation needs to read it.

Everyone knows their own situation, but I would urge everyone who's in their 60's go ahead and set your house/assets up to your children. But definitely get a lawyer that specializes in writing estate assets and that protects you in case your child gets into trouble....

Hate to be so blunt but it can get to the point you're wishing they'd die because of said mental and physical strain. At some point, you'll probably need outside living. Horrible and horrific. Don't wish this on my worst enemy.

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[2]
Oct 22, 2021, 7:27 AM
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Prayers sent!!!! Feel and understand your pain.

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Re: Asking Tiger Nation for sincere prayers once again. I posted

[1]
Oct 22, 2021, 1:03 PM
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Prayer said!

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