Weird thing happened this morning.

Sep 1, 2012, 11:49 AM

My wife and I were enjoying our coffee on the back deck in the cool of the morning. "Hey, look, there's that eagle we've been seeing," she was looking straight overhead. I looked up to the magnificent bird lazily circling above us. As I watched him with great admiration, I began to realize he was staring straight into my eye.

I returned his glare and soon it had become some sort of contest. I could feel his contempt and ill-intent. I returned the sentiment through my glare and added a dose of disrespect--after all, this is one dirty bird as it turns out.

His spiral became tighter and tighter as he drew closer and closer to me. Suddenly, he dove straight at my head. I've never seen anything like it; the speed, power, precision of his dive was unnerving. Instinctively, I flinched as he passed less than an inch from my crown. Now this is where it got weird--I swear that eagle was laughing as I reeled from his intimidation.

My wife said, "I'm going inside. That bird is crazy."

"NO!" I was not going to give one inch. "This is my deck," I resolved. "Just keep your seat; I'll handle this!"

With that, I slowly stood up and pointed at the raptor. It's hard to prove, given the shape of an eagle's beak, but I know that sucker smiled. My face was set in a steely glare. He made another run at me. This time I stood tall and prepared to give him my best shot. There was a blur of brown and gleaming talons as his enormous wingspan blocked out the sun. I won't lie; it was hard not to duck, but I waited until I felt him open a gash on my forehead and swung, hitting him squarely in his regal chest with my fist. My blow drove him back three feet as he tumbled head over feet in the air.

He landed on the deck, dazed, a few feet from me. He shook the cobwebs from his head and stood. He was such a massive bird we looked each other eye-to-eye. He spoke. "We'll finish this later, tater. I'm off to Atlanta to feast on tiger flesh." I stepped forward quickly and grabbed him by the throat. Pulling him close so that we were nose-to-beak, I said, "You get on down there, war chicky; there's a big, hungry cat ready for dinner and you don't need to be late." I lifted him off the deck and plucked a feather from his tail. I released my grip on his throat and he flew away. Last I saw him, he was just a speck, headed south.

True story!

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The definition of awesome!

Having coffee on the back deck this morning, reveling in victory and recounting how AE ran for 228 against the vaunted Allbarn front. My wife says,"Is that the eagle?"

I looked in the direction of her gaze. There was a small dark spot in the southern sky moving in our direction. "I don't think so. Whatever it is, it doesn't seem to be moving very well."

As the figure grew larger, she said, "I think it is, but boy, he looks rough."

I picked up my binoculars and focused in on the poor thing. "Well, I'll be. It is the war chicky. Goll, he can barely fly. Looks like he's missing half the feathers on his right wing and one of his eyes is practically swollen shut."

"Let me see," as my wife took the binoculars. "OMG, I feel sorry for him."

"NOT I! That smug jackarse got exactly what he deserves!"

By that time the eagle was almost directly overhead. If it's possible to limp badly while flying, he was doing it. He had actual bald places on his head. His left wing was bent in an odd angle. He was missing a chunk out of his beak. Lawd, he looked like he was barely alive as he labored in flight.

I stood up and waved with exaggerated enthusiasm. "HI, WAR CHICKY, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU SURVIVED YOUR TRIP TO ATLANTA! GOOD LUCK WITH THE REST OF YOUR CAMPAIGN," I shouted up to him.

The sumbeech wouldn't even look at me. Ah, good times.

True story.

Weird thing happened this morning.

Re: Weird thing happened this morning.

LSD is a helluva drug***

That gave me goosebumps!

point for the high-end literature.

You lost me with the line "cool of the morning."***

^^^Likes hot mornings

It was a turkey vulture not an eagle***

Re: I'll take a drink of that!

Irish.........

George Costanza?

Re: George Costanza?

UPDATE

Whether true or not, you deserve a Pulitzer for creative

8 people pointed that weirdness??

Heads up, Bud. I may have a strange encounter with a

Great tale! You and Buzzpaw have similar writing styles.Very

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