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All-In [42167]
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The only heroic thing I've probably ever done
May 12, 2021, 8:13 AM
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Thought of this from fluffhead's parking thread yesterday.
Years ago, I was driving from Spartanburg to Myrtle Beach--two redneck trash cities--in my wife's car. I can't remember why I used her vehicle instead of mine, but she had this little 4-door Infiniti back then. I hate little cars but this one was kind of zippy.
Shortly after getting onto I-26, I and many others soon became snarled behind two 18-wheelers riding side by side. I, unfortunately, wound up directly behind the 18-wheeler in the left lane. Both were going anywhere from 10 to 15 under the speed limit. Now, of course, I don't blame the guy on the right side. And I get it, trucks run America and I respect what they do. But if you're a ####### truck driver who camps in the left lane beside another truck driver so no one can pass, your fines should be tripled.
This went on for miles. I could see the long row of enraged drivers built up behind me. Nothing could convince this guy to yield. Flashing headlights didn't work. Slowing down a little more so he could get behind the truck on the right didn't. He was content with riding parallel all the way down the Interstate.
Finally, the truck driver in the right lane sped up. I don't know if he realized what was going on or if he just got a call on the CB that the Hardee's up the road had half off sausage biscuits, but he sped up just enough to give me a window.
In her zippy little car, I shot over to the right lane. It felt like a NASCAR driver making his move after drafting another car. I could see the cars behind me immediately following. The good guy truck driver gave me enough room to get in front of the #######. And then I had an epiphany.
Sure, I could have hit the gas and gone on my merry way, leaving both trucks in the dust. This little buggy could scoot. But for a shining moment, something stirred inside me to help my fellow motorists.
I cut over into the left lane in front of the ####### trucker. And then I gradually slowed down.
He immediately knew what I was doing. I could see him yelling and flipping me the bird in my rearview mirror. And on my right side, that long row of cars that had been backed up for miles sailed on past. The trucker put on his turn signal to go around me, but nobody in that row had any intention of letting him over. That beautiful caravan broke free and traffic returned to normal speed.
I'm pretty sure people way in the back of the caravan thought I was the ####### holding up traffic, not the truck driver. And I'm okay with that. Some people in Gotham thought Batman was the villain.
Once traffic had cleared in the right lane, the trucker tried to make his move around me, but it was a fool's errand. I flashed him some deuces, punched the gas, and left him all alone on I-26 to sit and wallow in his misery.
For one brief, fleeting moment, I felt like a hero.
Then I went down to Myrtle Beach and did some stupid #### and probably erased all that good karma.
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All-In [34486]
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I did this once, except when I got back into the left lane
May 12, 2021, 8:22 AM
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to go in front of the problematic trucker, I was running about 90 headlong into a flashing DOT sign parked in the left lane. The trucker got over in the right lane as soon as I got in front of him, and there was no where for me to go right.
I had to keep the wheels left and just run off in the median and lock it down. I spun out.
Then I pulled back onto the interstate with my tail tucked between my legs and drove the speed limit the whole way.
God I feel bad for whoever bougth that BMW from me used.
I'm glad it worked for you.
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Lot o points [155907]
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This may be the most beta post I’ve ever read.
May 12, 2021, 10:01 AM
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APM gushing about cauliflower wings is more manly than this.
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All-In [34486]
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lolwut?***
May 12, 2021, 10:40 AM
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i suppose it would have been more alpha to run headfirst into a 2 ton hunk of steel?
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Hall of Famer [24059]
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CU Medallion [66065]
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Deer Catahoula
May 12, 2021, 8:40 AM
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#### like this is why you should have been posting here instead of the sewer of the P&R
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All-In [40344]
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This really is an epic story***
May 12, 2021, 8:48 AM
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Heisman Winner [135598]
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I know exactly how you feel.
May 12, 2021, 8:55 AM
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I once saved Queen Elizabeth II from being attacked by a rabid badger back during the war.
But I don't like to talk about it.
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Heisman Winner [135912]
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back in the day when they were lowering speed
May 12, 2021, 8:59 AM
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limits to 55, truckers would run side by side at a constant 55 in protest
good times
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Hall of Famer [24059]
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Re: The only heroic thing I've probably ever done
May 12, 2021, 9:19 AM
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What did you do in Myrtle?
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All-In [42167]
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What HASN'T anyone done in Myrtle?***
May 12, 2021, 10:02 AM
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Hall of Famer [24059]
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Re: What HASN'T anyone done in Myrtle?***
May 12, 2021, 10:56 AM
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Good point
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All-In [46825]
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CU Medallion [53241]
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Re: ALL HEROS DON'T WEAR CAPES
May 12, 2021, 9:44 AM
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kudos to you, sir
+1
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Lot o points [155907]
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That’s good stuff. I really miss the pre-cellphone days,
May 12, 2021, 10:05 AM
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When a man could be a real vigilante of the highway, unaffected by things like laws and societal norms. I encountered those guys a few times, and I could toss a 20oz water bottle perfectly out my window, left handed, to where it would catch the air currents *justright*, right into the SOB’s windshield.
I may or may not have had a car in high school with an installed toggle switch for the license plate lamp.
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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pre-cellphone days were the best
May 12, 2021, 12:48 PM
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Replies: 15
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