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YOUR BALANCE
Are two parent families still important?
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Are two parent families still important?


Dec 17, 2021, 3:49 PM

All other factors being equal, are children better off being raised in homes with both a mother and a father (male and female), or do same sex parents who stay together in a committed parenting relationship do the job just as well? Or is there any point in looking to any such model anymore, and should we instead just accept that single mothers can do the job equally as well with minimal involvement from a husband or committed father?

Should we as a society stress, for the sake of children (and society as a whole), the benefits and importance of two parent families, or have we just decided "#### it"?

Do YOU think it's important?

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"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard."
- H. L. Mencken


Re: Are two parent families still important?


Dec 17, 2021, 3:57 PM

Take a look at American society today. That will answer your question.

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Asking your opinion on what you think is important.***


Dec 17, 2021, 4:01 PM

Sorry - clarified.

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"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard."
- H. L. Mencken


Re: Asking your opinion on what you think is important.***


Dec 17, 2021, 4:12 PM

I think 2 parents are important. That means a mother and father. I know many single parents work their tails off and do an admirable job but kids have a big advantage when raised by 2 loving and cooperating parents.

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Re: Asking your opinion on what you think is important.***


Dec 20, 2021, 10:06 AM

But that's not really an answer. Really, it should be ordered in terms of importance from best to worst

2 loving parents (regardless of gender)
1 loving parent
2 parents that don't love each other or their kids

Only real benefit of 2 parents that don't love each other is typically more financial security, but that is traded off with constant fighting and exposing your kids to bad relationships so early in life so that they can repeat when they get older

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Re: Asking your opinion on what you think is important.***


Dec 20, 2021, 1:45 PM

Ok I’ll answer with order
1. 2 opposite sex parents
2. 1 parent.

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Re: Are two parent families still important?


Dec 17, 2021, 4:16 PM

I would have been a completely different person, for the worse, without either one of my parents.

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Re: Are two parent families still important?


Dec 17, 2021, 4:18 PM

Amen brother. My parents were married 66 years. So blessed.

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Re: Are two parent families still important?


Dec 17, 2021, 4:27 PM

It's more important now to have 3 baby mama's and a pron star side piece.

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Is that a yes, or a no?***


Dec 17, 2021, 4:33 PM



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"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard."
- H. L. Mencken


I think support/structure is important for development


Dec 17, 2021, 5:05 PM

Two loving parents and a stable extended network of family, to me, are ideal (it takes a village...). But that's in the general sense, individually it's harder to nail down because of how much nature/nurture affects us differently.

It doesn't mean a single parent can't do the job equally as well, worse or better because I have friends from single parents that have grown up amazingly and friends from an "ideal" situation as I described that are messes. But I think from a general sense, the more support one has the better.

There's a pretty good political example I could use to illustrate this point, but for fear of turning this too political I won't go there, but it's probably pretty obvious what the example would be.

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Re: I think support/structure is important for development


Dec 17, 2021, 5:30 PM

It doesn't mean a single parent can't do the job equally as well, worse or better because I have friends from single parents that have grown up amazingly and friends from an "ideal" situation as I described that are messes. But I think from a general sense, the more support one has the better.

Agreed, and I think many single mothers are heroes who have done unimaginably difficult jobs in raising their children the right way, with love and attention and structure and all of that. I can't imagine, as it's hard enough with two people, and my hat is off to them. It just seems that there is an easier, better, more preferable way, and I think we should be able to stress that as a society without denigrating or belittling anyone.

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"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard."
- H. L. Mencken


I haven't seen that denigration or belittling.


Dec 17, 2021, 7:10 PM

I think everyone pretty much agrees that the more support a child has in their raising, generally, is better for their development.

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Re: I think support/structure is important for development


Dec 18, 2021, 8:02 AM [ in reply to Re: I think support/structure is important for development ]

Single fathers as well, which I am one. It is a full time job plus lots of overtime.

Not being bitter when I say this, but I think it's harder for single fathers then for single mothers. We fathers do NOT have the same support system as single moms. We do NOT have the exact same government help as do moms. Lastly, men aren't naturally equipped to be mom to children. It has had to be learned. And had to be learned overnight. LOL

(This is where I'm sure someone will disagree that we men don't have the same support systems, but I've actually lived it for nearly 3 years now)

But, to your OP, I wholeheartedly agree that mom/dad work better than just mom or just dad.

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If you've ever read Kurt Vonnegut...


Dec 17, 2021, 5:10 PM

One of his recurring themes is the loss of extended family and larger community.

Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, etc. are all important and we've largely lost those in our existing society.

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Re: Are two parent families still important?


Dec 17, 2021, 5:21 PM

Kids need as many parents as are willing to go the distance, Grands included. The closer the better.

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Do YOU think it's important?


Dec 17, 2021, 5:22 PM

Smiling Tiger® I am slow to post to a question the original poster did not go out on a limb with. I feel I kinda know you through your posts here so --

I have a lot of experience as to kids as I was once one.
My job brought me into many, many homes where life was less than optimal for the kids there.

One good parent can raise a good kid. Two good parents and some good grand parents seem to be the better deal.
Many kids don't have even one good parent.

A kid living in a home with solid folks has a huge advantage.

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the tug abides


Yes - I think it's very important.


Dec 18, 2021, 1:39 AM

Some kids turn out great from all kinds of family situations. Single moms and same sex couples can do fantstic jobs. My hat is off to all people who parent the right way. I just think that the traditional two parent, mother/father/children family structure, all other things being equal, is the best for children and society in general.

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"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard."
- H. L. Mencken


Re: Are two parent families still important?


Dec 17, 2021, 5:22 PM

I would say “no”.

Govt can teach your kids
Govt can feed them and their offspring
Govt can kill their unwanted babies
Govt can send them to college
Govt can provide healthcare
Govt can provide universal income
Govt can provide retirement

And govt can all of those things better. I don’t see a reason for parents at all.

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Re: Are two parent families still important?


Dec 17, 2021, 5:25 PM

sorry I can't give you more than one TU

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the tug abides


Re: Are two parent families still important?


Dec 17, 2021, 5:55 PM

Oh please don’t encourage him.

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Re: Are two parent families still important?


Dec 17, 2021, 6:00 PM

yes

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I think the entire body of sociological and psychological


Dec 17, 2021, 7:01 PM

research says yes, and nothing has changed in our culture that makes it any less true. It doesn't mean single parenting can't be done and done well, but kids with two parents are statistically better off.

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Plus, an extra parent has immense benefit to the other


Dec 17, 2021, 7:02 PM

parent as well.

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Re: Are two parent families still important?


Dec 17, 2021, 7:24 PM

I do. However the statistics from 2014 showed 29% of whites, 53% of Hispanics and 71% of blacks were born out of wedlock.

I suspect these percentages are even higher in 2021.

Being a father is increasingly nothing more than being a sperm donor.

I totally believe a single mother or single dad can be a great parent and produce great kids, but it’s very hard.

In my opinion it is especially important that a boy have a father as a mentor and to set boundaries.

I myself would probably got into some serious trouble without the guidance from my Dad.

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Re: Are two parent families still important?


Dec 17, 2021, 7:27 PM

You and I were blessed, ---

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the tug abides


Re: Are two parent families still important?


Dec 17, 2021, 8:19 PM [ in reply to Re: Are two parent families still important? ]

I agree with you that those stats are probably higher now. In my opinion kids being born outside of marriage and dumped upon whoever will take them has been the primary factor in our society decline. The root cause needs to be spoken openly about.

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the $$$$


Dec 17, 2021, 7:25 PM

- All parents are not created as equals.
The world is full of a$$hole parents, but good parents greatly out number them.

Many parents are crap. Often I have seen violent battles between a Mom and her daughter as they fought over a kid. The tax payer's $$$ paid every month goes with the kid so kids have value.
Most of the time with the Grand is where the kid should live, but laws ~~~ !!

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the tug abides


absolutely***


Dec 17, 2021, 9:07 PM



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If she's a hollerer, she'll be a screamer.
If she's a screamer, she'll get you arrested.


Parents gave their kids over to the state. The government is


Dec 17, 2021, 9:24 PM

the parents now. That's why we're f*cked.

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Re: Are two parent families still important?


Dec 18, 2021, 9:31 AM

I'll take a different tack on this one...

The liberal mind knows that diversity is an imperative. We cannot function, businesses cannot thrive, the country cannot be prosperous without diversity.

Thus, a diverse gender set with two people, one having a p3nis and one a v@gina, is the best way to go for parents raising a child.

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Aren't same sex couples "two parent families?"


Dec 20, 2021, 1:22 PM

In my experience as a parent, the more people who give a #### about a kid the better their long term life outlook.

Parenting isn't easy, and I can't imagine how difficult doing it alone is. My husband was raised by a single mom (widowed when he was 4) and he's probably in the minority of kids that turned out ok despite that situation (his sibling does not share his success story).

I spend a lot of times with my kids in their schools and volunteering and getting to know the kids and families they go to school with. There are lots of kids who have no one who cares about them.

One kid has to shower at school because there's no running water in his home. The staff at school has bought him things only to have his mother sell it for drugs.

So don't hand me the crap that same sex parents aren't the same. If you have two loving parents who willingly bring you into the world you are better off than many.

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Re: Are two parent families still important?


Dec 20, 2021, 1:27 PM

Very important generally.

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Now that I've become a parent, I total am a believer in "it


Dec 20, 2021, 1:42 PM

takes a village"

the number of parents in a household has little to do with the success of a child. If a single parent has a stable support system (extended family and friends) that also help with the day to day with raising a child that, IMO, is just as valuable if not more than having 2 parents in the same house that both work fulltime and don't have time to devote to child (and I'm talking everything from bath time, bed time, meals, playtime, to transporting to doctors/therapy/school/soccer games/etc, to help with homework and school projects....)

So all that said, I have NO idea how someone does it alone and works. It's insane. So shoutout to single parents. for real.

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"It's Baltimore, Gentlemen; the Gods will not save you."


Amen! I took my kids with a friend and her kids to Orlando


Dec 20, 2021, 2:44 PM

stayed in a hotel for two nights with them and took them two theme parks.

I'm about to kill them and cancel Christmas.

Husband is out of town on work and I've never been so happy to drop two kids and a dog off at my parents house this morning and go to work. I think I'm going to be "working late" tonight.

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Also, I know personally of just as many cases of high dollar


Dec 20, 2021, 2:47 PM [ in reply to Now that I've become a parent, I total am a believer in "it ]

neglect as I do poverty.

Parents with money can be absentee, horrible parents also.

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Alex Murdaugh had two parents


Dec 20, 2021, 2:59 PM

Just kidding. Yes, more is better so long as it's quality folks.

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This is a shining example of what I was referring to as high


Dec 20, 2021, 3:00 PM

dollar neglect.

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Re: Are two parent families still important?


Dec 20, 2021, 3:01 PM

All of the Dems I know obviously had NO parenting. They're all no more than advanced adolescents in terms of thinking and acting. Pity.

FBJ

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