I'm a long time lurker and have enjoyed trying to catch my breath in laughter reading stories on this sub for a few years now. Maybe I can return the favor with my very first post here.
I'll keep it short and sweet since it's the middle of the night and I need to atleast try and get back to bed.
Main account...long hair don't care, here goes!
This just happened merely minutes ago...BUT let me start off by saying it's been a 13 hour work day and I'm tired.
So just a few minutes ago I had just gotten out of the shower to clean my self off. I'm still mortified.
I #### IN THE BED I SHARE WITH MY WIFE! I'm a grown ### 33yr old man.....how, why, everything was decent today. Why this?!!!
I might have been able to get out of this situation if I had worn underwear to bed. (Easier clean up)
I might have been able to avoid this situation had I not been soo tired.
I literally had no warnings signs of this before bed...no upset stomach, no stomach pains....nothing! Just liquid #### next my wife and I couldn't not tell her before she ya know...rolled in it or something.
It took me forever to realize what had happened, I had my back to her....I must've stirred and been slightly awakened when I felt my left ### cheek get cold and so I reached back and it was wet....it still took me a minute to figure out what was going on in my sleepy state. I remember thinking that's weird. So like any man I smelled my finger....I jumped up and immediately ran to the shower in all my shame. Wife changed the sheet and removed a pillow with some of my stomach soup on it.
I hope she still loves me... She's sleeping as I write this so I think that's a good sign she's not too traumatized.
The only thing I can think happened is my animal brain (while sleeping) must have thought it was a fart and let one rip...instead it was some liquid ####.
God hates me....
TL;DR Slept buck naked and #### the bed, literally...