Re: Serious for those who have experienced divorce with an

yourself to know that you're nobody's #### doormat! Know that you have plenty to offer and that it was her lack of commitment and inability to withhold temptation that led to this. We often let our egos take quite a beating when we say to ourselves, 'why would she leave me for him?' Don't do that to yourself...that's the wrong perspective. Adulterers are often broken individuals with character flaws that they have to fix themselves...nobody can do that for them. in other words, don't place all the blame on yourself. Take everything as a learning experience (though quite the painful one) and work on yourself before getting in another relationship. Address things that you feel need to be addressed whether it's things like patience, compromise, or even physical fitness (great way to boost your spirits).

Main thing is, know that you're a prize in someone else's eyes. There is someone out there that will rock your world and in a few short years from now, you'll look back on this and probably be glad it happened...a necessary event to get you to this other stage in your life. Also know that you are far from the only one, and I've known plenty of individuals that come out on top through a hard time like this...trust me, this isn't the end of your world....it's the beginning of a new and exciting chapter. You just may not know it yet

quozzel

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May 22, 2015, 4:01 AM

Yup. It just takes some time. Everything gets blown up - your daily routine, your place in the world, your confidence, your sense of worth.

No point beating around, it blows. And it's going to hurt and hurt bad...and it's going to be a mess for awhile. There's no quick fix, nothing to do...just do your best to keep putting one foot in front of another, and don't stare at a wall and think dark thoughts, they just feed on themselves.

Motion is your friend. You may not want to date, certainly not right away - I certainly didn't - but what you don't want to do is get caught without purpose, with nothing to do and nowhere to go, because that's when the walls close in on you. But if you stay moving...before you realize it, you're somewhere else. And it's often somewhere pretty cool you never expected to be.

Most important thing involved in trusting people is, know what you're getting and keep your eyes open. Players play. Even after they're married. And love is blind...and love-blind fools are chumps. Don't be one...and be aware, when it comes to stuff like this, lightning is much more likely to strike twice in the same place.

Why? Because you're subconsciously going to be inclined to go for a "do-over", to find somebody with some of the same traits and try to get your self-esteem back by doing it right next time...which often leads you to make the same mistake all over again with somebody similar. And players and predators zoom right in on the desperate and those lacking in confidence; they can pick you out like a lion spotting the wounded zebra. They often do it by acting like wounded victims coming out of "bad relationships" themselves. HINT: somebody coming out of a genuinely "bad relationship" where they were the genuinely aggrieved/betrayed party usually doesn't wanna talk about it, it's hurtful and humiliating. Women who seek consoling for their bad relationships by batting their eyes at the next guy and making much hooplah about how bad their last ex was are usually - I'm tempted to say always - baiting a trap, and are trying to either friend-zone you or play you. Be leery of a chick who has a lot of "guy friends" who obviously want more than that in her orbit; it's a red-flag sign you're dealing with a player who needs the constant attention. Also make a point of avoiding emasculating chicks who run you down publicly...if they have contempt for you - which often isn't personal, some folks (of both sexes) are just contemptuous of their fellows in general - they're not likely to stay loyal, because their entitled sense of superiority dictates they have the right to what they want when they want it. It's the little things...is a promise made a promise that must be kept, or do they find ways to slide and finagle out of stuff they don't care to do? Are they self-obsessed, with a generally low level of empathy for their fellows? Do they tell the truth about the little things, and if they don't, when they lie, can you even tell, or do they just sorta effortlessly slide between lies like a skier doing moguls, without any sense of guilt? Do they like (and respect) other people? If the answer is no to any of those, you're probably going to have a problem down the road. The red flags are almost always there from the get-go, but young fools in love tend to ignore 'em.

So sayeth the quoz...who got played more than once, sometimes brutally, in his life, and learned a lotta this stuff the Very Hard Way.

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Serious for those who have experienced divorce with an

I have not but I have supported who have....

^^this is absolutely accurate

Yes.

Re: Yes.

Re: Yes.

Well, my roommate, who I used to

Is this the same roommate that fosters cats and then they

Yes, same one. She hasn't had one die in about 3

sad is upsetting a promising & perfectly good night at home

Re: Yes, same one. She hasn't had one die in about 3