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YOUR BALANCE
RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS
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RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS


Nov 18, 2017, 4:18 PM

A sandstorm will rise from the mire
As crowing grows louder and higher.
The Poultry contingent
Will fail to be vengeant -
They'll roast in their own dumpster fire.

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 4:23 PM

It's sucks to be coot
Watching them brag is a hoot
Anyone can see
They'll never win the SEC
The program is as useless as a Poot

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 4:40 PM

A wrung chicken neck's a bit jumbly.
Our Tigers will, quickly and numbly,
Just use their Or'nge Dagger.
We'll watch chickens stagger
All headless and aimless and bumbly.

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 4:54 PM

Hey Muschamp! Here's something to savor,
But first, sign your name on this waiver.
It's more Humble Pie,
But riskier. Why?
This year it's in doodoo ice flavor.

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GO TIGERS


cock-a-poodle-doo


Nov 18, 2017, 5:12 PM

the coots suck ###

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 6:55 PM

Those coots, they sure are dumb
Let's whip 'em until they are numb
Our Tiger team executes
Lays it on the coots
And soon they'll be fearing the thumb!

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 7:00 PM

Your cool pyrotechnic effects
With simpleton fan base connects,
But no fire distracts
From pitiful facts:
Your fans enjoy lewd, public [encounters].

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 7:03 PM

The coots are 8 and 3, but who have they beaten?
When we get after 'em, they will be retreatin'
Feaster and ETN should have fun
Up and down the field they'll run!
Wearing out the coots is a story worth repeatin'!

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 7:16 PM

Coot fans seem to think they have a chance,
But that's an unlikely circumstance!
On both sides of the field,
Our Tigers will not yield!
And those coot fans go home in a trance!

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The chickens think the Tigers are slumpin


Nov 18, 2017, 7:16 PM

The dirty ol cochroach be jumpin
But the truth soon sets in
Grab a cheap bottle o gin
The 4th quarter's for parking lot humpin

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What rhymes with Nantucket?***


Nov 21, 2017, 8:55 AM



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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 7:20 PM

There once was qb from duncan
Whose forehead was as big as a pumpkin
Last year he got kilt
This year he will wilt
When big dex and company come in a rollin...

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 7:28 PM

Ole Wille B is just a nasty place,
Some things there are such a disgrace.
We'll hold our noses,
Bring out the fire hoses,
And wash that crap into outer space!

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 7:43 PM

This beat down will be shorter
Over in the first quarter
Just watch the coots get punked
And work your man's junk

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 7:48 PM

No need to enter the stadium
To watch us smash your cranium
Just stay in the parking lot
And show everyone what your woman's got

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 8:21 PM

The CockDrill has damaged these boys.
Will Muschamp has made them his toys.
The thick innuendo
Will only crescendo
This week when their climax deploys.

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GO TIGERS


There's a team from Columbia that clucks


Nov 18, 2017, 8:32 PM

You can get their stuff at wally for 10 bucks
But when the Tigers run free
Muschamps biggest fear will be
That all their fans will leave early for their trucks

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 8:56 PM

Their filthy and crude reputation
Has people all over the nation
Dialed in to the Coots'
Dysfunctional roots
And Or'nge Feline chicken predation.

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 9:12 PM

Young Bentley can do what none can -
His brain has such vertical span!
His telekinesis
Might pick us to pieces!
His forehead is like a 12th man!

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GO TIGERS


And 7 bad ones?***


Nov 18, 2017, 9:24 PM



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At least we are trying, show us your literary skills, BBilly***


Nov 18, 2017, 10:20 PM



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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 10:31 PM

After last year's beatdown, coots said, "Never again"
When we turned those roosters into little old hens!
Young Bentley made the call,
We're not better, if at all
It's just proof he listens to too much E-spin!

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 10:44 PM

The coots are riding high, after going 8 and 3
How pitiful is the SEC, they just can't see!
They've beaten the Hogs, Vols and Gators,
Now they're calling the Tigers taters!
But to be like the Tigers, is what they really wanna be!

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 11:09 PM

After last year's 56 to 7 beatdown,
Little Jakie's comments sure would astound.
He's a real go-getter
Says we're not any better
Let's pound that boy into the ground!

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 18, 2017, 11:24 PM

The pride of grown men cheering for ####
This is not even hard to mock
They are full of such delusion
Have to imagine a contusion
Nah they are dumb as a rock

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 19, 2017, 2:41 AM

68-42-4..
That's not enough we want more...
Their offense will try...
Our D will deny...
Over and over we will slam the door....

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 19, 2017, 4:17 AM

The coots all think they can beat us
At willie b they will mistreat us
But we will prevail
And the coots will all wail
And we will be Natty repeaters!

Go Tigers!!

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 20, 2017, 1:26 AM

The Chicken will cheat, claw, and beg
To keep its own breast, thigh, and leg,
But we'll pick its carcass.
The meat that's the darkest
Pairs well with its freshly laid egg.

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 20, 2017, 12:31 PM

The Dirtpeckers' ego protrusion
And general state of confusion
Is never impeded.
It's only exceeded
By grandiose swagger delusion.

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GO TIGERS


We'll soon play some capons so cocky,


Nov 20, 2017, 12:46 PM

Even though their team is quite schlocky.
When our defense meets their QB,
He'll play just like a newbie,
With all the speed of a concrete lawn jockey.

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 20, 2017, 1:32 PM

As batt'ries and bottles rain down
To welcome the Tigers to town,
Big Clelin, a hoss,
Is gonna straight toss
Lil' Fiveheaded Jake to the ground.

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 20, 2017, 1:50 PM

Have fun with your crowing and preening!
The win record on which you're leaning
Is being exposed.
You're gonna get hosed
And "spurs up" will have a new meaning.

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 20, 2017, 2:47 PM

there once was a slumlord landowner,
Who wanted the cockroach tenant a goner,
"YOUR RENT IS NOW DUE.....
I'LL COLLECT IN A FEW"
Just thinking about it gives me a B*NER!!

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 20, 2017, 5:57 PM

"Attend to me," Will Muschamp said.
"I need my deep needs to be fed -
Let's see all you men
CockDrill a while, then
We'll cuddle up in my big bed."

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 20, 2017, 9:52 PM

With failure and shame and reproach,
Your abdomen-swelling head coach
Is lookin' real rough.
If beat bad enough,
His heart might give out in the Roach!

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 21, 2017, 6:10 AM

"When '2001' gits t'playin'
We're crazy - y'know whut I'm sayin'?
They's fire and all that -
Raght here's whur it's at!
The game, though? I ain't gon' be stayin'."

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 21, 2017, 6:24 AM

The Gamecock stuff's selling at Walmarts
On clearance with misprinted Hallmarks.
It's pennies per pound.
I keep some around
For clothing Gamecock voodoo doll-parts.

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 21, 2017, 6:35 AM

Bizarre's a description too mild
For fans who get ginned up so wild
To celebrate C0cks.
Such amoral pox
Is wholly unfit for a child.

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GO TIGERS


NAA


Nov 21, 2017, 6:56 AM

This is now, and that was then,
The Cawks actually think they can win.
But all Clemson fans know,
When the clock strikes zero,
They'll just be saying "Never Again, AGAIN!"

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 21, 2017, 7:09 AM

There is no reason we should
Think the chickens are any good
We'll give them a thumping
Out of the stands they'll start jumping
And start humping out in the hood

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 21, 2017, 8:16 AM

Despite all the laughs he engenders,
Lil' Jake will meet Clemson defenders
In ways not well-weathered.
He'll end up defeathered,
Strung up by his young chicken tenders.

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 21, 2017, 9:14 AM

When Will Muschamp CockDrills his hens,
He yields when Jake Bentley's head spins,
But Clemson will not.
We'll take all they've got
And leave only "never agains".

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 21, 2017, 11:10 AM

Lugubrious they'll be,
again in this rivalry
Lots of touchdowns I want,
let's score sixty-three!

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 21, 2017, 11:21 AM

There once was a team from the Midlands
who knew not their beaks from their chit'lins,
but leave it to Cle
to help them all see
how men look when playing the chil'ens.

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The definition of awesome!


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 21, 2017, 10:28 PM

The Tigers eat all chicken parts,
Particularly chicken hearts!
This week when they're beaten,
Despite being eaten,
Their town still smells like chicken farts.

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 22, 2017, 6:48 AM

The Spurrier banner's no more,
But luckily, per the Coot lore,
Repurposers bought it
(Although they had fought it)
For Coot fans whose sign skills are poor.



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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 22, 2017, 7:06 AM

His manhood irrep'rably hurt,
Left nothing except his own shirt,
Will we witness Boom
Their likeness assume?
Will he just start pecking the dirt?

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS (goal is at least 56 good'ns)


Nov 22, 2017, 7:11 AM

Just throw on a nice pair of jorts
And accent your mullet with warts -
You'll make a great Coot
As long as, to boot,
You're also not that great at sports.

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS


Nov 22, 2017, 7:33 AM

Just 'cause the dirt peckers have rank
don't mean that it knocks off their stank.
They have sex and pee in the open-
down where the dealers are dopin',
but they think it only adds to their swank!

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I was formally known as Furious george and have changed my name to match the name I use to call on WCCP radio.


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS


Nov 22, 2017, 8:26 AM

Oh Lawd! Now the Gamecocks are ranked!
So should we ignore that they've tanked?
They played bottom-feeders -
No winners or leaders!
These bird brains are 'bout to get spanked.

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GO TIGERS


The Tigers will put Bentley on his back,


Nov 22, 2017, 8:33 AM

While scar plays like it's using cooked crack.
The disrespected capon's will fail,
The mighty Tigers will prevail,
And Clemson's playoff course stays on it's track.

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS


Nov 22, 2017, 2:31 PM

The coots are throwing down
Everywhere, all around
Before the game
They have no shame
The coots are throwing down

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I was formally known as Furious george and have changed my name to match the name I use to call on WCCP radio.


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS


Nov 22, 2017, 7:14 PM

Come nightfall in Ol' Willie B,
The dirty ol' Coot fans will see
(Although they're all plastered)
The utterly mastered
Will Muschamp shut down by BV.

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS


Nov 22, 2017, 8:02 PM

I’d rather have Ebola
Than live in a place called Cola
All the stupid garnet and black
Stoned drunk and talking smack
Never heard of a parabola!

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS


Nov 22, 2017, 8:07 PM

Their stadium shakes, rattles, and rolls
In a neighborhood full of trolls,
It’s a huge venus fly trap
Smelling like a big pile of crap
Need to put half the coots in chokeholds!

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS


Nov 22, 2017, 8:16 PM

Perennial losers they are
As seen from near and far,
In the SEC Least
##### are nothing but a feast,
Doing their shopping at General Dollar.

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS


Nov 22, 2017, 9:06 PM

Their fans will be leaving in a flock,
Their team will be a laughing stock,
But that's what you get
When you place a bet
On a team whose name ends with "####".

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"Well, other than that, Mrs. Lincoln....how was the play?"


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS


Nov 22, 2017, 11:03 PM

Their five game streak is the coot's biggest feat
But since then, they have taken the back seat!
They're just a disaster,
Our Tigers are their master,
So get ready, poor coots, for the 4-peat!

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS(Number 58)


Nov 22, 2017, 10:38 PM

Time has flown by since the 56-7 bashing,
It is time to administer another big thrashing!
Coots say they're disrespected,
But as we have long suspected,
Their mouths are writing checks, their assses can't be cashing!

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS


Nov 23, 2017, 12:04 AM

Hey Five Points - y'all thuggin' & Cootin'?
Keep on witcha holl'rin' & hootin'.
When we come to town,
We'll mow your boys down,
Not unlike a drive-by gang shootin'.

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS


Nov 23, 2017, 1:31 PM

We pause for a thankful repose.
We all can be glad, I suppose,
In spite of life's knocks,
At least we're not C0cks.
It's shameful to be one of those.

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS


Nov 23, 2017, 7:06 PM

On this beautiful Thanksgiving Day,
I offer this little sobriquet.
To be a coot
Ain't worth a hoot
We won't take long to put them away!

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Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS


Nov 24, 2017, 1:36 AM

The avian roasting continues,
But with a slight change to our menus.
Not just the prime cuts -
The Tigers want guts.
These birds will get gnawed to the sinews!

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GO TIGERS


Re: RIVALRY WEEK LIMERICKS


Nov 25, 2017, 2:34 PM

They've beefed up their pregame routine
And Boom's got 'em rowdy and keen.
Tonight, it's reputed,
A Champ Undisputed
Will thrash 'em and rupture their spleen.

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GO TIGERS


Replies: 63
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