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YOUR BALANCE
A Shortened Life
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A Shortened Life


Jan 18, 2018, 12:11 PM

The untimely death of Tyler Hilinski, Coach Snyder's grandson and many others at a very young age has raised a topic that has been on mind for quite some time. Being 96 and somewhat older than most posters on this board, I may have a different prospective, First, I am extremely grateful for reaching an age where only one percent of our population will attain. In addition, I am in a unique situation in this age group in that I am in relatively good physical and mental condition, However, there may be some of you who may question my mental fitness.

During my 96 years I have been extremely fortunate in being able to see and do things that most people will never experience. Those experiences did not occur within a short period of time, but throughout my entire life. My plans are to continue to explore and enjoy all of the options within my control. And this is where I feel the hurt. When someone dies at a young age, they are denied the opportunity to experience those things we take for granted as we age.

I have not experienced having one of my children or grandchildren die before I do. I can't imagine the grief experienced by the parents and loved ones when a child dies. I have lost a niece and a nephew, one in her fifties and one in his forties, truly a sad event, but to me it was the thought of them not having a full life that drew my attention. How fortunate I am in living long enough to see my two daughters, now older than most of you, grandchildren older than some of you and great grandchildren not yet old enough to post on Tigernet. To some of you, this may not seem important at the moment, but when you arrive at the age when you experience this simple feeling, you will have an entirely different prospective. You will gladly trade your life if it will save the life of someone younger.

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Re: A Shortened Life


Jan 18, 2018, 12:35 PM

Were you ever able to meet Banks M. or see him play?

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Re: A Shortened Life


Jan 18, 2018, 8:05 PM

Bamks playing days were over when I came to Clemson in 1955. He was coaching at that time. I met him soon after our arrival and knew him until his death. Not only was he a super athlete, he was a super gentleman. One of his daughters lives in Clemson.

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Your last sentence says it all...you, sir, are one of the


Jan 18, 2018, 12:41 PM

good guys.

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You, sir,


Jan 18, 2018, 12:55 PM

have my utmost respect and admiration. At 55, what you’re saying is more important today than ever. Because of attrition, point of views such as yours are becoming very hard to come by. My grandmother is 104 and is still self sufficient and full of wisdom. Keep on living and posting. I enjoy (and need) your wisdom and knowledge. God bless you!

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You are very right Mr. Joe


Jan 18, 2018, 1:13 PM

As you age, you look at many things differently. Although I am twenty years younger than you, many consider me well ‘over the hill’ and I am still amused at that! Like you, I know that I am not and really appreciate both the physical and mental abilities that I have now. Last year, as I sat around recovering from a horrific traffic accident I realized how blessed I have been over the years. While still a youngster at 44 I lost my wife to cancer and was left to raise two teenagers on my own. Not an easy thing to do if you have a career to develop also. Sometimes I think we are challenged to see how tough we really are. It took some doing, but I made it and it’s very obvious that you have as well. I try to tell those younger than me to live life to its fullest because you are promised nothing. Regardless of your age, you can continue to learn and grow everyday. I’m not a person of great faith but I do truly believe in the golden rule. There are so many things that I haven’t figured out yet so I have to hang around a little longer to find the answers. I’m betting that you share those same challenges with me. One of the great things about aging is ... I have a lot more great Clemson memories than many of our fellow tnetters. Go Tigers

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Re: A Shortened Life


Jan 18, 2018, 1:05 PM

Dern that confetti's a little extra sharp today.

Thanks for brightening my day with your truly kind thoughts. You sir are an inspiration. I have to say too that your ability to express yourself is very impressive. You do english good! =o) It appears God is letting you stick around a little longer than most so you can spread some of that joy and perspective around. Thank you again for sharing. Your point of view is greatly appreciated.

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Re: A Shortened Life


Jan 18, 2018, 1:16 PM

Joe,
My Dad would have been 98 last September, so I know where you are coming from. he was 89 when he passed, and had a good life except for his last 4 months(congestive heart disease).

I look through our on-line hometown newspaper on a daily basis. I have seen people's obit who were 40 or younger. Some obits have a cause of death, but a lot do not, other than they passed away at _________ Regional Medical Center.

I currently am on my third bout against cancer and am doing really well for a 68 year old flunkie. I'll be darned if I'm going to let some disease force me into a decision that is really stupid.

I was asked by some friends the other week what it's like to face death. I just told them so far as I knew, no human has ever evaded dying, and only ONE has RISEN. Sandy(my wife) and I decided last summer we were in this fight together and we'd attack wherever it took us. We're old enough to know depression is a disease that is treatable. I read the article about Jay Guillermo yesterday on TNet, and that kinda prompted me to write this back to you.

Keep those cards and letters coming, Joe21. They mean a lot to a bunch of people and they are up-lifting. In reading them, I can sometimes hear my Dad saying almost the exact same sentence.

Take care.

Ron W., 71PR

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Re: A Shortened Life


Jan 18, 2018, 1:27 PM

I’m glad that you mentioned the Guillermo article because I’m sure some of our younger tnetters have been exposed to that lifestyle as well. It really is more common among young people than I would have thought. Thankfully, there is help available and those affected should not be afraid or ashamed to seek this guidance. Jay is a tough guy who did the right thing and help was there for him.

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Re: A Shortened Life


Jan 18, 2018, 10:41 PM

Joe I always look forward to seeing your post with your stories or thoughts. My Mom is 82 and you remind me of her with your fierce independence, ability to look back at your lives and the blessings that have been there along with the hard times mingled in. Suicide is something that is hard for most if not all to understand, especially when it comes to young people. Athletes are a different breed in that they are suppose to be strong, invincible etc. They have their teammates, coaches, staff members, friends etc but sometimes those are not the person they want to confide in. At Clemson there is a service available to the athletes but I think they may feel embarrassed. Every athletic group should have someone that there sole job is to follow their grades, have the talks about girls/boys friends Iovers, breakups or feelings of inadequacy to tryamd pick up the clues before it gets too hard out of hand. From having some experience in the field most times when someone is weighing suicide and if suddenly they are a drastic touch happier and you think the danger is gone but it is not and it will happen soon. They sulk, suffer, feel guilty, etc until the day they pick to do it and that day you will see they are happy. They usually are organized, they are organizing the details for ending their lives. The children today are going to suffer through stuff or ideas that wasn’t thought up when we were growing up and they will deal with them differently. I’m so glad that Jay G was able to leave the team a couple of years ago and go to his family where he knew he would be loved and supported. We all need to pay attention when young ones are talking to you. Ask guestions to open that subject if it is needed. I know I could not survive one of my children, grandchildren etc passing away before me, but especially if they took their own life. I would feel like such a failure for not knowing the right way to handle it.

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Go Tigers! Once A Tiger Always A Tiger


Re: Joe - thanks.


Jan 18, 2018, 11:05 PM

I so enjoy your posts. Thank you for your service. You are a great example of the greatest generation!
Now, my mom is 95 so if you’re looking for a gal, just let me know. She’s in TN, still driving, living alone, volunteering at church three days a week. She has a tiger paw on my old basketball goal backboard and another on the concrete entering the back porch (both of which I repaint for her every year). She’s got it together, so just let me know if you need a date to the dance (and not a stag bid...).

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Re: A Shortened Life


Jan 18, 2018, 11:16 PM

How blessed you are in so many ways! I lost my youngest son Nov 7th 2016. He had just turned 24 on Oct 15th and had been married for only 10 1/2 months to his only love and love of his life! He had a MRSA infection in his nose that spread to his brain. I don't think there is any greater loss than losing a child. He was a 2015 graduate of our great Clemson University! He had overcome so much to attend Clemson and graduate. He was an incredible man that was working extremely hard to one day take over my dad's construction company. I look so forward to being reunited with him again one day forever with our Lord Jesus Christ!

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Re: A Shortened Life


Jan 19, 2018, 3:35 AM

My heart breaks for you. That had to be very difficult to go through with your child. You have many things to be proud of with him and I know you have many good cherished memories. God Bless

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Go Tigers! Once A Tiger Always A Tiger


Re: A Shortened Life


Jan 19, 2018, 3:34 PM

joe,if there is anyone who questions your fitness,i and i'm sure many other t-neters will be more than willing to go 10 rounds with whomever.please keep posting.

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