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Orange Blooded [2377]
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Hill to have permanent seating, no more running down it
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Apr 1, 2023, 9:11 AM
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Expect a press release in the near future from the Clemson administration on why there will be a renovation to the entire east end of the stadium:
1) Fire marshall determined that seating exceeded safe capacity, especially if there is another pandemic and we need to stay 6' apart
2) Grade on the hill is too steep to be ADA compliant
3) Numerous injuries to the football team all pointed back to running down this hill seven times a year, not due to lack of conditioning or medical history
4) The incident with UCF baseball getting access to the hill was going to cause us to lose the insurance on Howard Stadium if something happened to them like what happened to our football players who were injured
5) The tradition of running down the hill was developed in a different era when different cultures and underrepresented people groups were devalued, and we need to be more inclusive.
6) Usually these things have a tendency to "follow the money." Analysts commissioned a study where they determined that this hill could be sold as premium seating.
7) Students will now be individually spread out throughout the stadium, in pairs, to bring the excitement of the student atmosphere to everyone.
8) The idea of a student section is being heavily promoted by Taco Bell on ESPN. We know that the only good idea Taco Bell has had was bringing back the Mexican pizza, and we surely all know that Taco Bell is almost always a bad idea. So as a double slap in the face to Taco Bell and ESPN, Clemson will disperse students throughout the stadium.
9) Dabo has secretly been complaining about lower back pain and stress on the hips from running down the hill. We know that what Dabo wants, Dabo gets.
10) Anything to distract us from thinking about Clemson basketball if for even only one day, the first of April.
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CU Medallion [51781]
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Re: Hill to have permanent seating, no more running down it
Apr 1, 2023, 9:18 AM
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I see.
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Legend [19869]
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Re: Hill to have permanent seating, no more running down it
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Apr 1, 2023, 9:21 AM
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Seems like that would be a foolish move.
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All-In [27361]
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Re: Hill to have permanent seating, no more running down it
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Apr 1, 2023, 9:24 AM
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Think about all the lives we saved of the sea turtle because we were willing to give up the ballon launch to protect the environment. Hopefully we can get rid of that boring “ we will rock you” song to start every game. I’m looking forward to the day when we can be known as the Clemson Woosies! Next up ... a championship tiddlywinks team . Go Wussies,
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Legend [19869]
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Re: Hill to have permanent seating, no more running down it
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Apr 1, 2023, 9:27 AM
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The Wussies versus the Peckerheads for the State Tiddlywinks Championship title...
...that would be worth watching!
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CU Guru [1146]
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Re: Hill to have permanent seating, no more running down it
Apr 1, 2023, 4:09 PM
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As per Dawn Staley. Don’t complain if Black tiddlywinks win too much
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CU Medallion [50357]
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April Fool's ..... but I do
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Apr 1, 2023, 9:28 AM
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agree with # 3 as having potential for knee injuries.
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All-TigerNet [10798]
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Re: Hill to have permanent seating, no more running down it
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Apr 1, 2023, 9:36 AM
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#4 Better guard the hill today then when the Weak Florists sweep in baseball!
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110%er [6510]
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Re: Hill to have permanent seating, no more running down it
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Apr 1, 2023, 9:56 AM
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In Taco Bell’s defense, bringing back the Mexican pizza is like McDonalds with the McRib. A really, really good idea. Can’t fool me.
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Orange Blooded [3612]
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Re: Hill to have permanent seating, no more running down it
Apr 1, 2023, 3:51 PM
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That was probably the best April Fool's post ever, complete with the subtle reveal at the end.
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