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YOUR BALANCE
Fellas, for a brief moment last night, I was that guy.
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Fellas, for a brief moment last night, I was that guy.


Apr 22, 2022, 9:21 AM

I'm not overly proud, but I'm not ashamed either. I was bringing the youth sports ref heckling HEAT...lemme share.

So, final lax game of the regular season, and the minute I see our refs I know we're in for a treat. This one woman (late 40's/early 50's) has been horrible. She's one of those refs that makes the game about them, and there's (no exaggeration) a whistle from her about every 15-20 seconds on average in a 50 minute game.

Now I don't mind bad refs in youth sports...it's a thankless task, and I appreciate them being there. This lady has two issues that push me over the line.

1) She's repeatedly demeaning to the players and the coaches, like totalbitch downright rude.
2) She's a hazard to player safety...she makes the ticky-tack calls while whiffing on the big ones. Imagine a basketball ref so fixated on watching the center's feet for a 3 second call that they miss an elbow to the face. This is her.

So after enduring this for the first half of the game, early in the second half one of our girls goes down hard from a stick to the face. She gets up with a bloody nose, and the ref calls a foul on her. Whole stands start booing. She walks over to our sideline as things quiet down and tells the coach the stands need to stop officiating. I yell "We'll stop when you start". I get glare but much frivolity in the stands ensues---that was the validation I needed.

Trend continues with our players getting hurt, while, at one point we have three players on the sideline with yellow cards simultaneously. Rest of game I:

1) Loudly do the three stooges theme song with mouth trombone every time she makes a call.
2) Start calling her Ronnie Milsap after she doesn't take off her sunglasses when it gets dark.
3) Question if she ever played the game or just stayed at a Holiday Inn last night. (Played out, but a real crowd pleaser).
4) Ask if she's related to Tim Donaghy. (The sports buffs in the crowd appreciated that one).
5) Yell "why not, you've carded everyone else" when she threatens to give the fan section a yellow card.

Anyways, it could have been worse if I was the only one, but I had some air cover in that the whole crowd, both sides, were tired of what they were seeing and voicing their opinions. I was just en Fuego, and you've gotta take your shot when it's there.

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LOL this is terrific. RONNIE MILSAP?


Apr 22, 2022, 9:26 AM

AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA. Hilarious!

Next time, add this one to your arsenal:


HEY REF! YOU BETTER CHECK YOUR PHONE AFTER THE GAME. (pause about 2 seconds) BECAUSE YOU'VE MISSED A LOT OF CALLS! (now belly laugh in a hey-yooo manner and scan the crowd for approval).

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(opens notebook, scribbles furiously)***


Apr 22, 2022, 9:30 AM



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Re: LOL this is terrific. RONNIE MILSAP?


Apr 22, 2022, 10:26 AM [ in reply to LOL this is terrific. RONNIE MILSAP? ]

Niiiicce



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You deserve some severe punishment.


Apr 22, 2022, 9:27 AM

4 whips with a wet noodle for the Milsap comment and 3 for playing a mouth trombone (hope it wasn't rusty).

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https://as1.ftcdn.net/v2/jpg/00/81/16/28/1000_F_81162810_8TlZDomtVuVGlyqWL2I4HA7Wlqw7cr5a.jpg


Re: Fellas, for a brief moment last night, I was that guy.


Apr 22, 2022, 9:27 AM



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A real hero, not one the world deserves but


Apr 22, 2022, 9:31 AM

one the world needed.


Hopefully she will get frustrated and move on from refereeing to harassing coffee shop managers

https://youtu.be/aJxoyneMQwE

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“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.”
Isaac Asimov


the real question is


Apr 22, 2022, 9:31 AM

was she hot?

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Nah. She's quite obviously a


Apr 22, 2022, 9:42 AM

woke libby that's trying to ruin america with her lies. She wants everything for free, doesn't want to work, thinks prayer is evil, and watches cnn+.

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Do y'all remember that game in DV against NC State


Apr 22, 2022, 9:51 AM

where the refs needed police escort after the game ?

They called like 15 pass interference calls against the Tigers if I remember correctly.

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#2 is a brutal burn


Apr 22, 2022, 10:00 AM

But if you didn't walk up to her, make her more frightened for her life than she's ever been, and had her shaking in her Vineyard Vines, you didn't do this properly.

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[Catahoula] used to be almost solely a PnR rascal, but now has adopted shidpoasting with a passion. -bengaline

You are the meme master. - RPMcMurphy®

Trump is not a phony. - RememberTheDanny


I actually pictured Obed wearing Southern Tide


Apr 22, 2022, 10:09 AM

t-shirt, salmon colored, khaki cargo shorts and his Vandy cap doing this. Sipping on a cherry La Croix, pinky out

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2 questions.


Apr 22, 2022, 10:02 AM

1. How many trips to the car.
2. What was in your solo cup.

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A drunk will run a STOP sign, but a stoner will wait for it to turn green.


I would judge you harshly, as my kids have not yet entered


Apr 22, 2022, 10:09 AM

the competitive level where refereeing is a thing... we are just happy if the boy gets a run and my daughter is officially not sporty.

However, my husband had to escort me to a pta meeting so I wouldn't put a ##### in her place. It's a long story but there's some serious drama afloat with people on the PTA and I do NOT keep my mouth shut for ridiculousness.

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They should do a bud light ad about you.


Apr 22, 2022, 10:15 AM

Real American heroes

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Ahem. Real Men of Genius.


Apr 22, 2022, 10:30 AM

Mr. BasketballCourtSweatWiperUpper Man.

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The hook could be something along the lines of


Apr 22, 2022, 10:32 AM

IF YA HAD ONE GOOD EYE YOU'D BE A CYYYY-CLOPS!!!!!!!!!!!

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when did Shorty start identifying as a woman ref?***


Apr 22, 2022, 10:34 AM



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When he switched to girls lacrosse


Apr 22, 2022, 10:39 AM

The gender switch was inevitable.

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HOW DARE YOU BESMIRCH THE NAME OF THE MAN THAT


Apr 22, 2022, 10:54 AM [ in reply to when did Shorty start identifying as a woman ref?*** ]

SINGLE-HANDEDLY WON THE LOUISVILLE GAME FOR US AND SAVED OUR NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP SEASON????

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