Thinking about trying a new challenge…

Jan 25, 2022, 12:56 PM

Trying to do all this crap sober. I’m a little scared though. Weird… I haven’t been scared for over 2 decades. Not even remotely scared. I’ve had a lot of dreams. Sometimes I have dreams where I can’t move and there are aliens or demons attacking me or my family and I just sit and watch them die and there is nothing I can do about it. I try to scream, pray, beg for any help I can give to them. But I don’t have a voice!!!
I watched from across the East river as planes flew into buildings and all that I could think to do was pray. I prayed like I’ve never prayed before. I was so scared. Not for my life. I saw people hurting to the point of ending the misery and tried to convince myself that they would land safely. That was a little more traumatic than I’ve cared to admit for a couple 20 years.

I’ve always known since childhood that some people don’t really enjoy being alive. I hurt a lot. I landed here somehow. Not the real me. But 7spots. The guy you know. The drunk who hides his fear in drunkenness and confusing drunken jokes and love. But then somebody that I care about died here too. Now I’m watching out the window as those towers fall again… in a way. I know it’s dramatic. But it’s traumatic too. I think I’m going to leave and just be with my real family now. I suggest you all do the same.

I’ll probably see you tomorrow though. I’m so sorry. I drank more than I should’ve.

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I was going to wait unto 1/31 to post an AMA, but I haven't had a beer since 1/2. I'm not sure that's really a good day to even start the count because I had been tapering down to 1 or 2 beers a week anyway before then, but that's the last time I actually drank a beer then so I'll count that.

All I can say is once again after quitting drinking, I've had no "GOD I FEEL SO AWESOME!1!" moment. I don't feel any different. In fact, I was sick for the first two weeks so I felt like chit anyway.

I haven't lost an ounce of weight, no eureka moments, no life changing clarity, no...nothing. The only thing I notice is that sometimes I sleep a little better, but that's when I actually go to bed early. I seem tired a lot more really.

I haven't decided if I'll stop drinking completely. If I continue to be as bored as I am now, I probably will start back. Like you said, sober is boring. Every time I stop drinking, I see why started drinking to begin with. I don't think I'm addicted, I think I'm just bored.

Thinking about trying a new challenge…

Re: Thinking about trying a new challenge…

I refuse to accept any challenge

Water is cheaper ... and better for you.***

Sober's boring, but you'll be more capable.

Sober is boring.

Do you people have homes?***

Re: Do you people have homes?***

Re: Do you people have homes?***

I said it wrong, but here ya go

Re: I said it wrong, but here ya go

Quitter.*******

Re: Quitter.*******

Re: Quitter.*******

TigerBoard POTD

Thinking about trying a new challenge…

Re: Thinking about trying a new challenge…

I refuse to accept any challenge

Water is cheaper ... and better for you.***

Sober's boring, but you'll be more capable.

Sober *is* boring.

Do you people have homes?***

Re: Do you people have homes?***

Re: Do you people have homes?***

I said it wrong, but here ya go

Re: I said it wrong, but here ya go

Quitter.*******

Re: Quitter.*******

Re: Quitter.*******

TigerBoard POTD

Sober is boring.