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Re: Sheez. A story that sets up like FastChad wrote it and

Oct 12, 2021, 5:30 PM

What’s really weird is that something almost identical to that happened to me. I was living in a double wide on the outskirts of Easley years ago. My roommate at the time apparently pocketed the rent money I gave him and skipped town without paying the landlord. My girl, let’s call her Tiffany since that was her name, had spent the night after we had gotten totally obliterated the night before. The trailer was filled with empty beer cans, a handle of Wild Turkey, some empty wine bottles (not the fancy stuff that old dude always yaps about on here) and absolutely reeked of cigarette butts and leftover Waffle House.

Anyways, the landlord comes barging in at something like 11:00 am on a Tuesday morning without any notice (although he claims to have been calling for days) while we were still asleep. Being so early, I was sports morning wood and Tiffany was wearing virtually nothing. That was pretty normal for her, so she pops out of bed and offered to make coffee. She was a freaking machine that didn’t even know how to spell the word hangover, yet alone have one. I should have held on to her. But I digress.

I, on the other hand, was totally disoriented and sat there with little Chad standing at attention in full view of the landlord. I caught the perfect wif of 12 hour old eggs and cigarettes and started heaving. I tried to make it to the bathroom, but ended up having to settle for the sink. Now the landlord thinks he’s going to throw up so we took it outside. To this day, I get queasy thinking about the combination of smells concentrated in the kitchen on that double wide.

The landlord explains that he wants me out and was demanding I pay him the back rent which I, of course, didn’t have. Tiffany brought out coffee, which I found weird since the coffee pot was in the sink that I just threw up in, and explains to me what was happening since I was still pretty drunk/hungover/confused. After discussing things over a cup of coffee, Tiffany took one for the team with the landlord and we stayed there for another four months before eventually being kicked out by landlords wife.

That woman weighed about 265, smelled of menthols and cheap perfume and turned down my reluctant offer to reciprocate the deal we made with her husband. That was a low point for Chad and got me to lose weight and grow back my mullet to regain some of my magic.

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Sheez. A story that sets up like FastChad wrote it and

Re: Sheez. A story that sets up like FastChad wrote it and

JFC how beautiful!***

Re: JFC how beautiful!***

Cottamn, FastChad

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