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Lot o points [155613]
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Thinking back to this hair tourniquet thing.......
May 4, 2021, 8:48 AM
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BrunchingWolf08......I didn't really process it yesterday, but I feel I've had time now, and I have some questions/comments.
So your kid has a couple strands of hair tied around their toes causing discomfort, right? Now some people, maybe the pioneers, might take something safe like a fingernail clipper or a reasonably dull pocket knife and try to gently get it between the skin and the offending hair and cut the hair away in about 10 seconds or less.
However, the Mrs. drove to the pediatrician for this seemingly mundane task? I realize this is kid #1, but you gotta take control of the situation man, TRUST ME. Those little bundles of doughy flesh may be small, but they're not THAT fragile. You gotta get the wife some of that kid #2 general apathy pronto, or you're going to be running to the Pediatrician or ER for every bit of gassiness or runny diaper.
Then he's gonna be 8 and you're trying to sign him up for PeeWee Football (or can I interest you in the bougie world of Lax?) and the wife's gonna make him take clarinet lessons instead because "You know how allergic Jr is to grass".
Just trying to help, because deep down, I care.
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All-In [43538]
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Kinda hard to take control when rulez was out taking
May 4, 2021, 8:51 AM
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instagram photos of his leg, a bottle of likker, and some chubbies.
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Heisman Winner [105420]
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oooooooffffff.gif
May 4, 2021, 8:53 AM
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those were not chubbies, unless you were referring to his donger
#Fashion
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CU Medallion [54011]
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Heisman Winner [105420]
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Greenr LOVES Chubbies
May 4, 2021, 9:03 AM
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Just check out his instafeed, there are at least 4 different chubbies in there.
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Heisman Winner [137759]
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This is in the same vein as a friend of mine
May 4, 2021, 8:52 AM
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who takes his dog to the vet whenever it occasionally gets a tick. I'm like "why don't you just get some tweezers and pull it off in 15 seconds, give or take, same as the vet would do?"
"I'm not messing with that, no way."
I....don't understand.
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Heisman Winner [105420]
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mindblowed.jif That person must hate money.***
May 4, 2021, 8:53 AM
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Lot o points [155613]
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I can't imagine the anxiety level in the rulez house,
May 4, 2021, 8:54 AM
[ in reply to This is in the same vein as a friend of mine ] |
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Driving around Raleigh on Empty, desperately looking for any sign of a full-service gas station. I suppose that's what the AAA roadside gas service is for though.
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Heisman Winner [135462]
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That's insane.
May 4, 2021, 8:58 AM
[ in reply to This is in the same vein as a friend of mine ] |
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I can't tell you the number of times I've had to sit and pick numerous ticks off of Joonyer when he was a toddler after sending him into the brush to retrieve a quail I'd just shot.
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Heisman Winner [135462]
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This truly does sound to me like a situation where they
May 4, 2021, 8:55 AM
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are going to all the bother of sanitizing the baby's crate with a store-bought product instead of just a cursory weekly hosing out in the back yard.
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Heisman Winner [105420]
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Lot o points [155613]
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True (maybe) fact
May 4, 2021, 9:17 AM
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That's the only Everclear song where he doesn't whine about what a lousy Dad he had.
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All-In [40656]
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So, you had time to think this through
May 4, 2021, 9:22 AM
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And then decided, "hey, I should ###### post this". Clearly you didn't see the photos I posted. Obviously you didn't put together that this could have cut off circulation and caused permanent damage to the toes. Maybe you didn't think to yourself, "hm, they probably tried to use scissors, finger nail clippers, or other household items to remove the hair". Quite possibly you considered the fact that we called the pediatrician and asked for guidance after we tried all of those solutions.
But what you didn't do, which completely blows my mine here, is use your brain to ask yourself, "wow, should I really try and guilt trip some dude on the internet for trying to take care of their kid?"
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Lot o points [155613]
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Well there, looks like I hit a button.
May 4, 2021, 9:28 AM
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My bad, it was primarily joking, but ok. There was a little real world advice thrown in----everybody, me included, overreacts on stuff with kid #1 when young, and it does lead to some humorous stuff, like not being able to work through the tensile strength of a strand of hair. You'll laugh about it eventually, sorry it wasn't today---my timing was probably too soon.
Continued good health to you and the entire family.
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All-In [40656]
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I am laughing about it, because we solved it
May 4, 2021, 9:30 AM
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And found a solution going forward if it happens again. But, I am certain that if you saw the photos I posted rather than just trying to shi+post, you'd have probably noticed just how tightly those hairs were around the toe, giving us virtually zero room to maneuver anything between the hair and toe.
Big love, though.
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Oculus Spirit [80964]
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How did you end up removing it?***
May 4, 2021, 9:34 AM
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Lot o points [155613]
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In fairness, it wasn't a sh#tpost
May 4, 2021, 9:38 AM
[ in reply to I am laughing about it, because we solved it ] |
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You're the only one not getting the joke. I mean, 4000 posts about your brunch and you roll with it, but one post about hair on a toe and out come the horns. I'm probably a little jaded because my Dad was a pediatrician and I spent an entire childhood hearing him get calls at 1am for a kid with diarrhea or similar.
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All-In [40656]
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I think its fair that I am the only one with rustled jimmies
May 4, 2021, 9:52 AM
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Because it's my kid and I was looking out for her health. I can roll with the brunch jokes because I know all y'all fats were just jealous you weren't there for the overcooked bacon.
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All-In [43538]
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Bruh you wanna watch out for her health?
May 4, 2021, 9:54 AM
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Sounds like ya'll need to run a vacuum in that joint once in awhile.
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Lot o points [155613]
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I did learn something from the entire experience.....
May 4, 2021, 9:55 AM
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Instead of spending 15 minutes cutting hair off the vacuum roller every month, I'm just going to Nair it.
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All-In [40656]
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Your cousin Yulma was there literally the day before
May 4, 2021, 9:58 AM
[ in reply to Bruh you wanna watch out for her health? ] |
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She said your taco's are more "Taco Bell" and less, cómo se dice, "auténtico" in inglés?
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Heisman Winner [137759]
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All-In [40656]
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A rare scene when one man
May 4, 2021, 10:12 AM
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is laughing at his own scoks.
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Heisman Winner [137759]
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Nah, fam. Obed is my scok. TRJD is his own mano.***
May 4, 2021, 10:24 AM
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All-In [43538]
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All-In [31361]
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Re: Thinking back to this hair tourniquet thing.......
May 4, 2021, 10:41 AM
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Males of the species can get hairs wrapped around their penors and make them fall off.
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