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YOUR BALANCE
A serious piece of Christmas advice:
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A serious piece of Christmas advice:


Dec 9, 2020, 11:30 AM

if you're lucky enough to still have your Mom around, go give her a great big hug, and sooner rather than later. I lost mine 6 years ago today. I still remember the call from my Dad at 6am like it was yesterday.

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Cannot do that in 2020


Dec 9, 2020, 11:36 AM

Stupid Covid and distancing

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BS....


Dec 10, 2020, 4:58 AM

You know if you've got it or not. Sounds Like an excuse.

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Lost mine right at 10 months ago now


Dec 9, 2020, 11:40 AM

Her birthday is Christmas Eve, so that makes it particularly ######.

My best friend died in 2012, grandmother in 2014, grandfather in 2015...But losing your mom certainly is on a different level. Thoughts for y'all this holiday season, cause I know it ain't any easier 6 years later.

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Y'know, in my limited perspective,


Dec 9, 2020, 11:47 AM

I'd surmise that it DOES get marginally easier than the first couple years. It sort of levels off to a tolerable baseline, where the world around you is just a shade or two darker than it used to be. Some days you notice it. Others not so much.

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My dad died in '97.


Dec 9, 2020, 12:18 PM

The big thing after this long is that I often wonder what his opinion would be on things at work, or stuff like that just comes up sometimes. Or what he would think about, my boat, or my truck or something like that. Just daily kind of stuff.

That, and I wish I hadn't been as much of an a-hole to him when he was alive.

I probably wasn't any worse than than anyone else is to someone close to them, but it seems like some things just stick out and I remember those.

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Perfectly stated, I agree completely. The day my dad died


Dec 9, 2020, 12:27 PM

is, by far, the worst day of my life.

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Yeah, at 12 yrs for me


Dec 9, 2020, 12:49 PM [ in reply to Y'know, in my limited perspective, ]

And I tell anyone that will listen

Time does make it better
You will think about her/him daily

Good luck

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Stuff like this is why I've mostly let bygones be bygones


Dec 9, 2020, 12:07 PM

with mine. I was incredibly angry for a long time after finding out the truth about her and my Dad's split. Eventually it was time to see that the world made her pay for that in enough other ways.

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My wife and I had a friend that got divorced from her


Dec 9, 2020, 12:27 PM

husband. He cheated on her. Weirdly, he is related to a guy in a band that we (use to when life was normal) go see quite a bit, and he comes to the shows. It was always weird and uncomfortable when we'd see him, and my wife would always say stuff like "Oh he's with some ho" or something like that.

Then one day his ex (our friend) was talking to us and mentioned him and his new wife, and my wife just made a face. It was then that I realized we (really my wife) had been mourning a relationship that the folks who were in it were completely over. I asked my wife "if it doesn't mean anything to them now..why does it to you?". I think that put it in a different perspective for her. The next few times we saw our friends ex, it wasn't as weird or uncomfortable and we talked to him.

TL/DR: let stuff that no one else cares about.

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My mom cheated


Dec 9, 2020, 2:15 PM [ in reply to Stuff like this is why I've mostly let bygones be bygones ]

We tried the family rebuild (lol)
She claimed nothing was happening
Was offended when my dad served papers
Got married a day or two after the divorce
See point 2
He got cancer and died a year or so later (karma is a beach)
I started letting her back into my life after that
She died 4 months later
I had a chance to spend time with her and my sister didn’t ( we all said some super hurtful things in that time)
I was the last person to see her alive
I answered the door to cop and a coroner while my wife and soon to father in law were doing a bathroom remodel upstairs
I came back up and they asked who was at the door
I had to be the one to tell my dad about it and I guess most of the rest of the family
I got the sweet task of settling two estates at the same time at 26 and getting married in 2 months

That year changed my entire life in a way that I will never understand

For anyone with investment accounts set that up as TOD either to your spouse, kids, girlfriend, brother whatever

That instant dump of cash helps with things like funerals, etc


And now you see why Fluff is the way Fluff is

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Us older folks include siblings in this


Dec 9, 2020, 12:59 PM

our parents are gone, but we still have bros/sisters so I try to pay a lot of attention to them.

T's and P's to all who mourn our loved ones - always is harder over the holidays, but, the best part of having had them is our memories, so live them every day - you cannot repeat them and if you forget them, then they are gone.

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Some of the best advice on this is ever got was to try to


Dec 9, 2020, 4:20 PM

preserve the memories you don't even know you want.

Take pictures of loved ones doing the everyday things they loved. That mundane stuff fades and the big family picture gathered in front of the tree just doesn't do them justice. I've got pics of my grandfather working on my mustang that i had in high school with a cig hanging out his mouth. My other grandfather pulling the tractor out of the barn. Or opening up a field gate. My grandmama sitting in her chair journaling. My other granny gathering eggs in the hen house.

I still have both parents and i know i don't do this enough myself, and it's harder this year than ever.

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God willing she will see the kids come down the steps and


Dec 9, 2020, 4:28 PM

watch their faces light up Christmas morning.

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lost my mom dec' 2013 and my dad this past feb.


Dec 9, 2020, 4:38 PM

mom past away a couple months after they celebrated their 67th anniversary. dad was a couple months shy of turning 95 when he died after a brief stay the hospital. it was likely the rona that got him but they weren't testing for it at the time. they had diagnosed him with both type a and b flu.

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I'm not crying.


Dec 9, 2020, 4:45 PM

Okay, I'm crying. <3 you all.

And I have both my parents, will hug them extra hard for y'all.

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Cole @ Beach Cole w/ Clemson Hat


Re: A serious piece of Christmas advice:


Dec 9, 2020, 8:53 PM

Lost my mom several months ago after a long illness. She did not know where she was the last several weeks. It was hard to deal with see her like that but she is in a better place now.
Dad died almost 10 yrs ago.

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Thank you all for sharing...


Dec 10, 2020, 3:21 AM

I am sorry for all of your losses.

Thankfully both my parents and inlaws are alive... i think i take that for granted way way way too often.

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I lost mine quite a few years ago....


Dec 10, 2020, 5:01 AM

And I would give anything to buy either. I think Greenr needs a hug.

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