All-In [40656]

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Lets talk bad neighbors

Jun 2, 2022, 4:03 PM

So, as many of you know, I moved in August. It did not take very long for me to realize the curmudgeons I moved in next to were some of the worst people to exist. These people will go out of the way to ignore you, go out of their way not to make eye contact. They're the type of people that turn their porch light off on Halloween, don't put an ounce of decoration out for any other holiday, including Christmas, and have yelled at kids for walking on their lawn. So, I lost the neighbor lotto on this one. Every single time I talk to them, its about them complaining about something about my yard, house, or SOMETHING is wrong. Each time I speak with them, they bring up the law and "knowing their rights". Turns out neither of them are lawyers... but neighbors girlfriends dad is supposedly one, so they think they are high and mighty because they understand they can cut a single limb down thats hanging over my fence. Whatever, they're losers. A few times, just to be neighborly, I have asked this guy, "hey man, dinner smells awesome tonight, what are you grilling?" and he wont even tell me what hes cooking.

A few months back, the neighbors girlfriend, who lives there, posts pictures from their backyard security camera on NextDoor. In the pictures are some outdoor cats that are walking through their yard or hanging out back there, who knows, either way, not a big deal. Except, it is, to them. The girlfriend, we will call her Bertha, posts along with these pictures that her boyfriend is deathly allergic to cats and goes into the law about outdoor cats and says that she will be setting cat traps and taking any cats she catches to the shelter.

Fast forward a few weeks, and there is an animal control truck in their driveway. The animal control for the town I live in is part of the police force for some reason, so its actually a cop that shows up. The cop is holding an empty trap. So I assume they called the cops to set traps for a couple cats. Another neighbor, lets call her Sandy, heard from another neighbor that Sandys cat was in one of the pictures Bertha posted on NextDoor. Sandy reaches out to Bertha, apologizes, explains this cat used to be a stray that visited their home that her and her husband adopted. Her husband is active military, and it turns out the cat is now registered as a companion and helps him with some PTSD he is suffering with. Bertha writes this all off, so Sandy apologizes again, and goes about her day.

A few weeks later, this outdoor cat claws through their screened in porch and escapes. Bertha called the cops and reported Sandy and her cat. Sandy gets a visit from the police and explains what happened. She still ends up getting a ticket. Fast forward another week and a different cat ends up in their yard, God forbid, so Bertha assumes this is Sandys cat and calls the police again. Police show up on Sandys doorstep and write her another citation... but Sandy shows up at the door holding her cat, proving the cat was not outside.

Bertha has caught one cat thus far and dropped it off at the shelter. How do we know this? Sandy is a pet foster and has animals of all sorts in and out of her home all the time. At this point, I am considering adopting cats and letting them sportfuck and leaving all of the cats outside. I would then get cat food and place it on Berthas side of our fence so the cats will continue to congregate on their property. Does anyone else have any ideas on how to handle these dickwads?

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Please forgive me, @IneligibleUser

it's the only answer.... or at least, it's a good one.

have pizzas delivered to them

tack fliers to light poles downtown advertising free or cheap stuff.

cut off her catalytic converter

start putting catfood out all over the dang place around her property... call up an army of strays.

salt in her yard

big 4th of july firework displays in front of her house.

give your kid sidewalk chalk and let him/her/they go to town in front of her house. then you sneak out there and make some drawings that are phallic in appearance.

call 811 and have the dig people come out and spraypaint in her yard where the burried utilities are (i just thought of that one... pretty good I think)

call local churches and request in-home visits.

sign her up for meals on wheels or other shiit like that

let the air out of her tires.

knock her garbage cans over

throw your doo doo in her driveway

see if you can buy poison ivy/oak seeds and broadcast all over her yard

put a big poster board at the entrance to the neighborhood saying "Bertha Jones is trapping your cats and give her address". My FIL did that when his neighbor was baiting and trapping cats. It was a pretty good one... and I think it stopped the guy.

alright, brainstorming session over. back to work for me.

Lets talk bad neighbors

Too long to read when the correct answer is

Sounds like it's time air out Bertha's penchant for fingerin

I had no idea that

I forgot to tag my neighbor

FBcooch with a 6 series Beamer?

Dunno man. Sounds like you're the aggressor here.

Rent-a-pisssedoffmountainlion dot com***

Re: Lets talk bad neighbors

Rights!?

not sure how you can determine which one is your cat

We are not cat people

So you can't control your kids either?

Weird, this is really low net worth neighbor activity.

I mean, the last two homes in my neighborhood to sell were

$800k?

Gotta stay ballin' on a budget, man.***

Don't get me wrong.....

I would not pay for my house what they claim it is worth

I thought the same, but then I realized

They do drive Subarus, which are 100% the domain

Put Bertha on Facebook and let the internet do its thing.

I KNEW you would help

so what happened?***

Re: Invite some friends over and have a block party

I thought this was abundantly clear

What if you threw a total rager of a brunch?***

He would call the cops

can we get some more demographics here

Picture painting

Ugh, new money***

Transplants is the problem

Love the glitter bomb idea

We have had a massive wave of yankees

Re: Picture painting

I love gossip, really

Using demographic data to pigeonhole these people isn't

BUtt why would anyone leave Gastonia when it looks like this

I'll be there Monday if y'all wanna grab a beer

quora - always look at quora

Pro tip....ignore the neighbor as much as they ignore you.

I tend to agree with that.

So, this will take a little work, but should provide some

You know, when you respond nicely to me, which is rare

I need a shower after this exchange.***

Me too. I am as hard as a diamond in an ice storm.***

You live that close to other people ? You sound like

Jokes on you

Ohhhhhhh …… wow - how did I miss that ?

TLDR***

How old are these people? And do you have any security

I had basically this same situation play out a few months

Thats my biggest concern

Had one of those for over 20 years

Have a friend who was taken to court and fined $250.00

And now we got snakes breaking into credenzas.

Re: Lets talk bad neighbors

The obvious answer here that nobody has the

Karen putting a karen lives nextdoor sign pointing to that

Why is it cultural norm to "get along" with your neighbors?

There is a difference between getting along

Rent a cat costume and wear it out and about...

this is why 20+ years ago I headed for the country

I don't disagree with you

true...don't be a neighbor if you have no interest in being

Exactly

Weaponize craigslist.

left off Swatting

Swatting? You mean like swinging your hand at them?***

nah...just a fun harmless prank

Uh did you even read your link

the "fun harmless" was pretty obvious sarcasm

Inexcusable, even if you send them to a resort as an apology***

the slacker teenage video gamers popularized Swatting

Post address on CL... write somethign like

Its beautiful down to the last drop.***

Let's turn this up a notch. Send Red and they child

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