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All-TigerNet [11241]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 6670
Joined: 11/23/03
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The Tail of the Wet Armadillo
May 5, 2022, 3:19 PM
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or, Armadillos Can Swim, Sort of. A FishinCrazy short story.
It was nice and slightly cool when I woke this morning. The sun was just rising and I had just filled my coffee cup. Decided to open the doors and windows in my little cabin and let the fresh, but albeit humid air, flow through while I started sipping my coffee and checking the news to see what wonderful things were going on while I reveled in my blissful ignorance.
Being as the door was open and I could see the pond ### just outside, it was not that unusual the see wildlife flittering around in the early morning shadows. A movement caught my attention. Dayum, that's a big turtle? Kinda fast too. Wait, is that a wet possum? No, I think I'm seeing a wet armadamdillo...with pond weeds draped across it's back! That's a little unusual for a Thursday morning. But not totally bizarre since I have been seeing signs around for a while now.
Do I need an armadillo amongst the plentiful other varmints and other aggravations I seem to constantly battle here on the property. Beavers, fire aunts, poison ivy, weeds, dead or fallen trees, etc., etc. No, no I don't. I reach for my old, trusty .270 with malice in my heart. I step onto the porch and shoulder my weapon. Put the crosshairs on the bouncing target and...crap, the scope is screwed to 9X! I walk onto the ### and squeeze off a shot...missed. Hmmmm, screw down the scope power to about 4X. Bam! the possum on a half-shell jumps about a foot and is writhing around in it's death throughs. Dang, it flopped over in the pond. Not what I was going for exactly but about par for the course. Dang, my already poor hearing is now in deaf mode. Serves me right I guess for eleiminating one of God's creatures...just like the beavers and fire aunts, squirrels, etc. AM I GOING TO HAYULL?
For the record. I was later on the bush hog and stopped for two sneks and a turtle. No malice for them. I found a very, very large snek skin shed by a wood pile that I am sure I have moved out of the way on several occasions. So, at some point I guess I will have to wade into the pond and search with a pitch fork under the weeds to see if I can retrieve the armadamdillo. Apparently they don't float so good.
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All-In [26877]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 15590
Joined: 1/26/22
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I'm not going to lie.
May 5, 2022, 3:22 PM
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The idea of having property where you can, at will, just step outside (or, really, just open the door) and squeeze of a few rounds is my dream.
The wife is a city dweller though, so maybe this is Jimmy's future vacation home.
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All-TigerNet [11241]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 6670
Joined: 11/23/03
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Re: I'm not going to lie.
May 5, 2022, 3:27 PM
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Pee off the porch too! Great not having a human neighbor in site. The old skulls around the property lines is working well.
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All-In [26877]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 15590
Joined: 1/26/22
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If you ever run low and need a guy, I got one.
May 5, 2022, 3:28 PM
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A little rough around the edges at first, but a real saint. If he's not killing you. Goes by the initials RHT.
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Heisman Winner [135451]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 91583
Joined: 12/6/98
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I have three criteria for where I'm willing to live.
May 5, 2022, 4:32 PM
[ in reply to I'm not going to lie. ] |
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1. The ability to pee in the front, back, or side yard at any time of day or night.
2. Eliminate the need for any kind of drapery to keep neighbors from seeing inside...in other words, no neighbors.
3. The ability to fire a 12 gauge shotgun in any direction and not hit a civilian target.
This is why I've lived where I do for 33 years.
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