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YOUR BALANCE
Things coaches actually said to you
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Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 5:21 PM

Ok, this is not meant to be, and I hope it doesn't turn into, a Brad Brownell debate. But recent news made me think about it.

I had two really standout coaches growing up, one in baseball and one in football. The examples below were unpleasant at the time (40-ish years ago), but I look back on them now with amusement.

One time I let a ground ball go through my legs at second base, with the bases loaded and two outs. The coach called time and walked to the mound, only he didn't really have much to say to the pitcher - he looked straight at me the whole way out, repeating loudly...and I mean loud enough for everyone at the game to hear, including my parents..."I'm gonna kill you." Another time I was pouting about being pulled from a game, and he told me, again loud enough for most everyone to hear, to get my a$$ off my shoulders. I promptly did so.

The football coach, who won a couple of state championships, was fond of questions about the status and function of players' genitalia. At some point he yelled at everybody, "what's the matter with you boy, do you squat to pee?" and "now we're gonna find out what you got between your legs!"

Good times. I'd be interested to hear others' examples.

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 5:27 PM

"From now on your locker is in the janitor's closet!"

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 5:31 PM

“I’ll be a lot nicer guy if I get a Mercedes.”

He was a gold plated diamond encrusted idiot.

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 5:32 PM [ in reply to Re: Things coaches actually said to you ]

I did not have anything extremely harsh said to me. However, I did have one coach that loved nicknames. I was 6' tall and weighed a mighty 150 LBS. Naturally, he called me "Tarzan".

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 5:30 PM

Fill a man on peanut butter and he will choke every time. One of our HS baseball coaches favorites. He did yell "hey you lazy a$$" once. But it was to George Lazy A$$. He was our centerfielder.

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Some times actions are better than words, I can remember


May 3, 2021, 5:41 PM

when the QB coach in high school pulled out a plug of Redman out of his mouth and stuck it in the ear hole of the QB's helmet and told him not to take it out until after practice, saying "you'll listen to me from now on"!

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 5:43 PM

"Stick to academics"

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 5:45 PM

Folks in SC from the boomer generation were different. I was raised on a Mill Hill where kids were hard. Coaches we had were mostly volunteers and while not extremely educated, they had won WW11.

Profanity was much, much less than these days. I blame that on Hollywood where actors now believe saying "####" in every sentence makes them an actor. That might be how they talk in real life, but most folks don't talk like that.

I have heard that Coach K has an extreme "potty mouth".

Good coaches do anything they can come up with to get a kid's attention.
Some like Woody Hayes loose perspective. I don't think that was the case here.

Brownell will be the coach next season. His team at this point looks to be similar or less.
I hope Tigers go undefeated. At this point I am "All IN" for the next season. I hope "we" achieve.
If not, well I am one of those rare guys who love Basketball, but see it as a fun diversion.
I am that way due to being a Tiger Basketball Fan for decades.

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the tug abides


Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 5:51 PM

Could be fiction, but I remember a tale when a kid was cramping up in the heat doing drills. Danny Ford looked at him on the ground and said, "Go eat a banana and then do it right".

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the tug abides


Boy...


May 3, 2021, 5:52 PM

we're gonna have to tie some kerosene rags around your ankles to keep the ants off you candy a$$.

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Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.


Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 5:57 PM
sss.jpg(69.2 K)

Coach Schwieterman at the door when I showed up to take his daughter to a movie --

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the tug abides


"Son, they's a gapin' hole right there between the tackle


May 3, 2021, 6:01 PM

and guard and you run it right up the middle. What the frapp were you looking at?"

The late Clayton Chriswell of NC.

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I never had a coach that was abusive....


May 3, 2021, 6:01 PM

Coaches should encourage players, not be disrespectful toward them in order to get the best from them.

My HS football coach was Hal Bullard, Little All-American from Lenoir-Rhyne and later a FB for the Chargers. During practice on a kickoff, I ran down the field as a gunner and absolutely drilled the ball carrier who was coming up the far sideline. I put a flying body block on him and knocked him a*S over tea kettle out of bounds. It probably hurt me more than it did the ball carrier, but as I got up holding my ribs and limping, I heard Coach yell "Atta-Boy" you hit him so hard he don't know whether to sh*t, hockey or wind his watch!"

I don't know what that meant, but the next week I moved into a starting position and I had a tremendous respect and appreciation for that coach because he recognized effort and rewarded it.

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Basketball coach accused me of playing “spectator defense”.


May 3, 2021, 6:03 PM

Didn’t hurt my feelings but the extra suicides left me on my knees.

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Congratulations...


May 3, 2021, 6:04 PM

On making All Stars, son.

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"I've played multiple sports and would bet any amount that I'm still more athletic than you at this present time...."


Nice guys


May 3, 2021, 6:23 PM

Finish last!

Enough said

Brownell isn’t going anywhere

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I think he meant real coaches, not ones in your dreams.***


May 3, 2021, 9:31 PM [ in reply to Congratulations... ]



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"When I was young, I was sure of many things; now there are only two things of which I am sure: one is, that I am a miserable sinner; and the other, that Christ is an all-sufficient Saviour. He is well-taught who learns these two lessons." -John Newton


Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 6:21 PM

Called me out for being injured "There is a difference between being hurt and being injured"... I practiced 2 more days with a fractured foot

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 6:23 PM

I was a Freshman at AC Flora. After getting rave reviews on a "B" team game I was moved up to the varsity to ride the pine. One day during practice Coach Pinkerton stopped the play and got in my face and yelled "I thought you could play.....Burris is kicking your a$$ all over the field" Super motivator that Coach was.

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monter le cheval de fer
A coot will usually blink when hit in the head with a ball-peen hammer


Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 6:35 PM

After loosing a wrestling match, my coach picks up his 6 year old son by the are and said “do you think I want my son to grow up to be like you?”

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 6:50 PM

I can't type what our coaches said to us when I was in high school or I would get banned for life.

That's why I have a hard time when a kid gets his feelings hurt these days. I'm not saying I'm right for feeling this way but I'm just being honest. I'm not condoning a kid getting cussed out, I just know that when I was growing up I would have been humiliated if a big deal had been made out of what our coaches said to us. We didn't get offended, we didn't take it personally, it was NEVER an issue to us as players.

One day in practice one of our players smarted back to the Coach and got in his face. The coach punched the kid in the mouth and knocked his front tooth out...I mean completely out. The coach took the kid to the office and called the Dad. Coach made him come back out to practice until his Dad arrived.

The Dad arrived and once he found out what happened he grabbed his son by the neck of his shirt and dragged him to the car and took him home. The kid came back a couple of days later with one of those silver crowns where his front tooth had been. The last time I saw that guy he still had a silver tooth in front. I'll never forget that.

Things were different where I grew up. By the way, to cap the story off in a big way, that Coach won Educator of the Year in our County.

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 7:04 PM

You know, I don't ever recall being chewed out when I didn't deserve it. A lot of my coaches were salty, for sure, but they were excellent coaches...the two I mentioned were the best.

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Worst coach made us run laps just because


May 3, 2021, 6:56 PM

Funny now half time speech in soccer. Our coach had played for Wake and was beat out for USMNT by Eddie Pope

We were doing terrible in a game and at half time we were pulled to the far side of the complex “6 ft plus, 6 ft plus, 6 ft plus and yet Johnny effing Thompson is the only one that can win a header at 5’2””

It’s funny cus it was true

Best coach speech though
If you keep your grades up and stay out of trouble when it comes to college you can pick, choose and refuse

He wasn’t wrong

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Our Jamaican coach also used the term


May 3, 2021, 7:03 PM

Blood Claat a lot. You can look it up, but something along the lines of a blood cloth and you can connect the dots.

Rasclaat was a little less offensive

Best coach I ever had at any sport

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Pick up the soap?***


May 3, 2021, 6:59 PM



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So, you attended Penn State?***


May 3, 2021, 9:05 PM



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"When I was young, I was sure of many things; now there are only two things of which I am sure: one is, that I am a miserable sinner; and the other, that Christ is an all-sufficient Saviour. He is well-taught who learns these two lessons." -John Newton


Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 7:09 PM

Late 1970's. As the suicide man on the h.s. football kickoff team - 6'0" 165 lbs - my job was to go directly to the returner for the kill shot - no lanes for me. So on the initial kickoff of the game against rival with a big star player, 6'3" 230lb RB/MLB/K/KR/PR, I shoot the gap through blocking wedge, and in a surprise to both me and the returner, I hit him helmet to helmet with both of us at full speed after running 20-some yards. And I felt it. I saw stars and rainbows and lightning bolts - lots of noise then complete silence. I popped up and ran to the sidelines. My head coach & defensive coach yelled at me to "get my stupid a$$ back on the field" and may have kicked me in the butt as I played weak-side DE. The returner was just getting up off the ground as I returned to the field, and he walked to his huddle. The big guy was not right the rest of the game, and we won by 10 points or so.

I did not know it at the time, but I don't remember the rest of the game -- a big concussion. Not my first or last. My guess is I had at least 6-8 concussions from 13-17 years old. I also remember coaches withholding water on 100 degree 95% humidity three-a-day summer practice days. I probably have 25 stories like that. But coaches will be coaches. They were completely ignorant of science or dehydration. They were there to win. But I'm still ticking.

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 17, 2021, 4:19 PM

Sure that you went to the right sideline?

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 7:33 PM

This day and time, if coaches don't say please and thank you, someone is calling for their job to be taken. How did Americans get to be soft pussssies since when I was growing up!!! When I played baseball, I expected to hear my coaches talking plenty of chit if we screwed up. And parents back then wanted a coach fired if they didn't coach their kids hard!!!

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Assistant football coach in high school.

1

May 3, 2021, 7:42 PM

Big black guy, probably in his 50s at the time.

He would excuse himself from practice for a couple minutes to go pee in the woods. Then he would come back, have everyone huddle up, and tell us all he saw a big black snake in the woods.

Every. Time. Lol

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7th Grade Football


May 3, 2021, 8:18 PM

Coach I'd had since 4th grade. We knew each other well. I'd been a QB but was so much bigger than most of the other kids he wanted to try me at other positions. Tried me at FB which I hated. Had a bad series. Come to the sidelines and he hands me a Matchbox car and told me to go play with my toy. I took about 6 steps, turned around and smacked him in the back of the head with the car. Played lights out the rest of the game including a pick 6 at LB. He got what he wanted.

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The sad thing I heard ...


May 3, 2021, 9:04 PM

"The other team is short a player. You go play for them."

I got mad and scored a TD against "my" team.

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"When I was young, I was sure of many things; now there are only two things of which I am sure: one is, that I am a miserable sinner; and the other, that Christ is an all-sufficient Saviour. He is well-taught who learns these two lessons." -John Newton


Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 9:07 PM

You’re as worthless as a poopie flavored lollipop.

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 9:28 PM

It was homecoming my senior year at my small high school (where EVERYONE could hear what the head coach said). It was the 4th qtr and I had cramps in BOTH calves. I struggled to walk to the sidelines and signaled my replacement that I needed help. My head coach met me about 5 yds from the sidelines, twirled me around, kicked me in the @as, in front of God, my parents, and everyone and yelled ...You're not coming out just because you've got some GD cramps. Loved that man.

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 9:35 PM

It was not what was said in practice; it was getting hit in the back of the head with the clipboard when I jumped offsides. Made the helmet ring a little.

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 9:37 PM

One time in 10th grade wrestling practice I had the fingers on my right hand extended down towards the mat. The guy I was wrestling rolled over my hand and jammed my index, middle, and ring fingers against the mat. Blood started coming out at the base of my fingernails. All 3 fingernails came off over the weekend. Came to practice on Monday and showed coach my missing nails. Told him I didn’t think I could wrestle. He said “son, this ain’t beach volleyball. Get your a$$ out there.”

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High school OL coach and college Off Cord


May 3, 2021, 9:50 PM

Two monumental ###### that would not hesitate to completely tear you a new ### in front of whomever happened to be within earshot

Our QB in college walked over to me after one particularly bad drive and handed me the headset while he just kinda looked at me apologetically and shook his head. It was the first time I had the privilege of putting that headset on.... and luckily the last.

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hey! you cannot play without your


May 3, 2021, 9:52 PM

field skirt.

i mean, i get it. it was the field hockey finals. i knew better.

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I for one am glad you are stopping. You are one of the most ignorant posters ever. You obviously think very highly of your own opinion, unlike the rest of us - RockHillTiger


Knock their dix in the dirt!!***


May 3, 2021, 11:16 PM



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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 3, 2021, 11:57 PM

Before games - "If you want to make friends, go to summer camp"

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I can't type them. This is a family board.


May 4, 2021, 8:10 AM

Times sure have changed.

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Worst abuse I ever saw wasn't a coach, but a Mom


May 4, 2021, 8:29 AM

In 2nd grade Little League, one mother got mad at our coach for something--not sure why. Her kid was paying 3rd base, and she walked out toward her kid yelling at the coach, then at the umpire, then at the other team's coach, then at the other parents.

When she reached her kid at 3rd base, she grabbed him, grabbed his hat and peeled his jersey up over his head and threw it at the coach (who was still over by the dugout so it was not a very effective throw).

But that wasn't end end.

She then grabs his waistband and pants the kid, pulls off his cleats and chucks that whole pile at the coach. The kid is standing there crying with nothing on but his tighty-whities and socks.

Mom grabs him by the arm and drags him away still screaming.

I don't remember how the game progressed after that, and I don't remember a thing she said, but I vividly remember that kid's face (and I remember his name still, probably the only kid on the team whose name I know).

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I have witnessed first hand...


May 4, 2021, 9:16 AM

a lot of parents behaving badly at their kids sporting events, but that would be a first for me.

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Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.


"you're not supposed to try and outjump these N...


May 4, 2021, 9:41 AM

We just have to use our brains"

Guy was a parent of a player and an assistant, so not the head coach.

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Not directed at me..


May 4, 2021, 9:58 AM

But an assistant on our HS team did say(after seeing a few loafing to drills) "HEY!!! GIT YOUR F***ING!!!! @$$ DOWN THERE!!!!!"

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 4, 2021, 2:33 PM

Coaches were nothing compared to those mean Nuns in grade school! Walked around splitting knuckles with a two inch thick ruler, then made you kneel on a window pole for being wise.

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Hop into my Van After Practice


May 4, 2021, 2:58 PM

I have iced cream in there.

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 4, 2021, 4:00 PM

Late 80s high school basketball. Right before the half I didn’t properly set up to take a charge and ended up leaning in and giving up an easy 3 point play At halftime coach screamed at me in front of everyone and asked me if he had a slit bw my legs. Benched me for the start of the third. Put me back in, took the first charge I could and grabbed every rebound in sight. Never considered telling my dad. Went back to starting the next game.

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"I'd lose my job over a punk like you."


May 4, 2021, 4:08 PM

O-line coach......#1 rule, don't go to the line not knowing who to block. We were in the playoffs, playing Chesne. Ran 5-2 defense. I was pulling and wasn't sure if I scrapped and went to LB or locked up d-line. All a did was say, "Hey Coach?" and he went nuts...... which led me to say f-it. Said it too loud. "Did you say F-U to me?" Who was I to argue? Ran till I puked. The old man loved me then and loves me now. Just had a bad day.

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 4, 2021, 4:23 PM

This child abuse fan-fiction is a really weird genre.

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Jstone D329 - “ It’s ok to want a coaching change”
Brownell @Clemson: 8 seasons ranked 50th or worse by Sports Reference’s SRS
1-29: Brad Brownell road record against ranked ACC opponents
142, 161, 294, 307, 293, 166, 225, 180, 260, 164, 141, 72, 68 - assist rankings amongst all D1 programs during Brownell's tenure


"Somebody actually needs to teach you how to RUN!"


May 4, 2021, 5:07 PM

My high school football coach. I never did learn how to run. We literally had girls in gym class who could outrun me in the hundred yard dash. I ran it in about two weeks.

I am reminded of the old football joke:

Coach: "Son, are you just ignorant, or apathetic?"

Player: "Coach, I don't know, and I don't care."

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 4, 2021, 9:43 PM

Late 80’s. The other team was getting outside our defensive ends over and over. At half time our coach was so fired up and said remember these two words “ Con Tain, Con Tain. My buddies and I laugh about this every time we see each other now..

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In an effort to choose a cleaner one....


May 4, 2021, 10:06 PM

After we ran a lazy sprint...coach blasts “I’ve see better runs in s***ty drawers! Get your butts back on the line!”

The good ole days

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“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.”

? John Wayne


Re: In an effort to choose a cleaner one....


May 10, 2021, 10:24 PM

I believe in believe.

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 10, 2021, 10:39 PM

"You'll make a good engineer when you grow up."

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 17, 2021, 7:40 PM

1978 at wrestling practice. Caught an elbow to my right eye. It immediately swelled up. The coach said are you gonna cry about it or get even with him? I gave him a cross face that bloodied his nose pretty good. The a-hole then made us both leave practice and run 1.5 miles.

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"If a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal."


Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 17, 2021, 7:52 PM

Swimmer here, right after I puked in the gutter, Coach leaned down into my face and said, “I’m not impressed”.

I really didn’t think much about it other than to think, “great, wasn’t trying to impress you, just needed to puke”.

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Re: Things coaches actually said to you


May 17, 2021, 8:05 PM

Son you’re a triple threat- start, stumble, and fall

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