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Replies: 21
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Orange Blooded [3166]
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The Official Thread for Slacker Tips of Telecommuting
Mar 20, 2020, 10:44 AM
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Greetings and salutations from yo ole buddy ICT. It's been awhile. We're all gonna die. Everybody lock yourselves in your house and buy 50 packs of TP. Now that my org has officially told me to stay out of the office for some significant, unknown period of time, it's time for me to take advantage of the purest form of knowledge Teh Jounge possesses- how to slack, cheat the system, and get paid handsomely to do it.
Being that this is my first time working from home in 15+ years (prior to today's superior technological ways of spying on employees), I don't have any tips to offer, but I do have some specific questions and want everyone to do their best to contribute at least one or two pieces of advice to this most timely thread... and save that moral high ground shit- I don't need motivation or structure or focus, I need to know about how to keep Jabber's status and any laptop sleep tracking active while I go fish or turkey hunt.
PS- Feel free to share your favorite websites to kill time on as well since I'll have my personal laptop up and running next to my work machine.
Gracias and carpe diem!
FYT (don't scroll down if you don't want to see them)
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Oculus Spirit [97663]
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Joined: 7/13/02
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2 benefits:
Mar 20, 2020, 10:50 AM
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You can work in your underwear. (check)
You can easily take 15 minutes or so to rub one out or have a conjugal visit with your spouse/gf. (lunch time)
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All-In [34486]
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Joined: 8/30/19
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Here's one:
Mar 20, 2020, 10:50 AM
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Open a Word Doc and put your cursor in the document. Get a paper weight and put it on your space bar.
It will keep you from appearing "inactive" on Skype, and will keep your computer from going to sleep.
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CU Medallion [56005]
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CU Medallion [53143]
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Joined: 11/16/05
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Re: Mouse jiggler
Mar 20, 2020, 11:12 AM
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There's a program called 'caffeine' that will keep your machine up. I've had to use it on kiosk before. Simple too. You can execute as needed, or add to startup tasks.
https://www.zhornsoftware.co.uk/caffeine/
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Heisman Winner [135644]
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Joined: 8/26/07
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Do you already have one of those widgets that keeps
Mar 20, 2020, 11:02 AM
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your cursor moving when you’re gone?
That’s all I got - prolly not too helpful
Oh other than t-net I spend a lot of time listening to the Bitter Southerner and on the AARP (yes old) Stay Sharp game page.
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Hall of Famer [22935]
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Joined: 12/2/00
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I have an idea
Mar 20, 2020, 11:31 AM
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Do your #### job so that your company stays in business and can keep paying your/employees salary.
I'm sure productivity will drop. But this will be a quick case study for companies to have far fewer employees.
For our folks: As long as they're getting their work done, we don't harass them. Expectation is to still get your work done.
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All-In [46796]
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And when you're not doing that
Mar 20, 2020, 11:33 AM
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Lounge and Rivals Main Board
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Orange Blooded [3166]
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Joined: 10/10/14
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There's always one
Mar 20, 2020, 12:24 PM
[ in reply to I have an idea ] |
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When I used to get on Tnet on the regular and cared whether I was messing up the vibe of the room, I probably would have brushed you off and handled you with the kid gloves on, but today, I think I'll just tell you what you need to hear.
Eat a massive dick phaggot. I suppose you didn't read the last sentence of the second paragraph or just really needed to poke your chest out for everyone else to feel the power of your moral fortitude and leadership...
Except no one cares and you just look like a know it all asshole.
Just keep in mind- we're both upper management, and you've wasted more time on tigernet in the past 30 days than I have in the past 3 years. Plus I'm only trying to provide an opportunity for some humorous suggestions in the middle of a time when most people are wound too tight... PLUS if my company fails, the US govt failed and you won't need to worry about being king of your peon company or serving unnecessary lessons of productivity to lowly people like me.
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All-In [46796]
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HFT is Chesty's scok?***
Mar 20, 2020, 12:39 PM
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Orange Blooded [3166]
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Joined: 10/10/14
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I'm not nearly beefy enough
Mar 20, 2020, 4:24 PM
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to be Travis, but I do still text his investor buddy's cell with pics of dogs pooping from time to time.
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All-In [46796]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 8/11/15
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I'm glad I didn't jump on that investment
Mar 20, 2020, 10:01 PM
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now that windmills cause cancer
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All-In [34486]
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Joined: 8/30/19
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Oculus Spirit [80977]
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Been happening a lot in here lately***
Mar 20, 2020, 12:43 PM
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Hall of Famer [22935]
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Joined: 12/2/00
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Guess that hit close to home for you
Mar 20, 2020, 1:29 PM
[ in reply to There's always one ] |
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If you don't want to work, be a man about it and tell your boss. You're 40. Try to figure out alternative work arrangements. Discuss taking some leave. Figure out a flexible work schedule where you take off a couple hours a day. I'm sure they'll work with you.
Your job sounds important, so find ways to keep your company going so the US govt doesn't fail. Apparently I'm dependent on you and your company, so don't let me down. Or send some hunt my way.
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Orange Blooded [3166]
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that sucks.
Mar 20, 2020, 4:23 PM
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was really hoping to drum up some fun in here today and come back to read the bloodshed after I finished my work, but you were too mature to take the bait. Also, I don't work for the US Govt and I'm not important. Just trollin.
nice tatties. Have a good weekend broseph.
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Hall of Famer [22935]
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Thanks bro.
Mar 20, 2020, 5:30 PM
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I edited and backed down the rhetoric instead of escalating. Tried to keep the Lunge more fun loving and less serious.
I'll go home and kick my neighbor's dog instead.
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All-In [36448]
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^^^Stronger than the average American male***
Mar 20, 2020, 1:33 PM
[ in reply to There's always one ] |
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Lot o points [155630]
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I have to confess something
Mar 20, 2020, 1:35 PM
[ in reply to There's always one ] |
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When I see a post like this, whether I agree or not, whether I like the poster or not, I do a little virtual fist pump in the air because dammmit, it’s just good TV.
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All-In [47663]
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PRO TIP:
Mar 20, 2020, 1:34 PM
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Day drinking.
HTH
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All-In [47657]
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Perfect gif
Mar 20, 2020, 2:21 PM
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Cleavage, then thigh gap, then side boob, then ass. Can't get much better.
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All-In [35541]
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Joined: 4/7/17
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I don't have any tips to off but can you image how hard the
Mar 20, 2020, 4:59 PM
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mass shooters are bumming right now?
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