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All-In [43653]
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Joined: 4/24/15
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Here's a good one for all you corporate minions.....
Mar 25, 2021, 12:09 PM
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Big Corp:
We at xyz corp recognize zoom fatigue among our human capital, which is BY FAR our most valuable and beloved asset. With this in mind, we are introducing a series of weekly "lunch and learns" that will run 12:00-1:00. This way we can get training in while you relax, decompress, and enjoy your lunch without the added stress of having valuable time taken from your day.
Interpretation:
You will be having a working lunch you ####### slaves AND had ####### better be grinding your nuts off the other 8 hours per day. We ####### own your ### and will run you and your entire family into the ####### ground as we relentlessly pursue an increase in shareholder value.
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Hall of Famer [24472]
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Posts: 13967
Joined: 7/3/01
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Zactly. 'You're stressed by meetings. Tough. Here's another'***
Mar 25, 2021, 12:14 PM
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Heisman Winner [137862]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63784
Joined: 10/22/00
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The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just
Mar 25, 2021, 12:14 PM
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don't care. It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ### off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime; so where's the motivation? And here's something else, Bob: I have eight different bosses right now. Eight bosses. Eight, Bob. So that means that when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled; that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.
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Hall of Famer [24472]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 13967
Joined: 7/3/01
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Zactly again. Whoever came up with the idea Juan described
Mar 25, 2021, 12:32 PM
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was just trying to make his/her bosses happy with him, and it probably came out sounding something like:
'We addressed the inefficiencies of virtual meetings by maximizing available human resource time, via a solution that communicates team values of care, support and diversity.'
Good job, Kate. You show initiative and potential.
A heard a guy say once, "In an organization, a leader gets his affirmation from either those above him or those below him. If he gets it from those above him, look out." I suppose this has always been the case, but it is is more hardwired in now, it seems, that this is how organizations now work.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Posts: 78623
Joined: 8/2/03
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You should get a green screen and put something whacky
Mar 25, 2021, 12:23 PM
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behind you while you eat. Like ######
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Lot o points [155796]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65777
Joined: 5/6/13
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I'm so confused on what you actually do.....
Mar 25, 2021, 12:36 PM
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seems like you'd be leaving a lot of money on the table by doing training during lunchtime on a food truck.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 8/2/03
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People don't think management is looking, but they
Mar 25, 2021, 12:39 PM
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know if you put more than one protein serving in your complimentary burrito with SMALL fountain drink during the lunch break.
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All-In [43653]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 18072
Joined: 4/24/15
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AHH. GOOD FREEND, EXCELLENT IS YOUR INQUIRY!
Mar 25, 2021, 12:47 PM
[ in reply to I'm so confused on what you actually do..... ] |
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I AM CEO OF TRDJ ENTERPRISES, LLC. MY EMPIRE INSISTS OF MEENY THINGS. SI THE FOOD TRUCK BINESS ES BUENO BUT I AM ONLY AN INVESTER TO THEESE. OF COURSE YOU KNOW I HAVE TRUCKS WITH CUT GRASSERS, SHOVELS, AND STRONG HISPANIC MEN WILLING TO THE WORK YOU LAZY GRINGOS WILL NOT.
I ALSO MANAGE RENTAL BARRIOS AND HAVE A THRIVING PIPELINE OF COYOTE TRANSACTIONS THAT GET BETTER EACH DAY NOW THE WALL BUILDER WANKER IS ONLY FLORIDA MAN.
IN ADDITIONALLY TO ALL OF THESE I AM...HOW DO YOU SAY IN ENGLISH...OPERATIONS DOCTOR OF MEXICAN RESTARUANT OWNERSHIP GROUP. AS PART OF THIS ROLL I HAVE EDUCACION CONTINUO FROM THE COMPANY I WORK FOR THAT HELPED ME CATCH THE JOB.
THERE ARE MORE PARTS OF TRDJ ENTERPRISES, LLC THAT CANNOT BE DESCRIBED HEAR DUE TO AS YOU GRINGOS WOULD SAY ARE HARD ON THE I'S.
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Heisman Winner [137862]
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Joined: 10/22/00
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You do this suspiciously well.***
Mar 25, 2021, 12:53 PM
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Oculus Spirit [79183]
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Joined: 8/29/12
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Lot o points [155796]
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Joined: 5/6/13
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Orange Blooded [2894]
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Ah...the ole lunch and leave. Used to love those.***
Mar 25, 2021, 1:02 PM
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Orange Blooded [2618]
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Joined: 8/13/02
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Re: Here's a good one for all you corporate minions.....
Mar 25, 2021, 1:20 PM
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Back when the market crashed on 2007-2008 or so, my old company stopped giving pay raises and at our annual review we were told just to be glad we had a job. A few years later when things started to improve, people were leaving for better jobs in droves. Management cried about us not be loyal employees. lol
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Oculus Spirit [79183]
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You know now that I think of it, that is about the time when
Mar 25, 2021, 1:25 PM
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all the Burger Kings started shutting down.
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CU Medallion [51530]
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Working lunch should mean leaving work an hour early.***
Mar 25, 2021, 1:27 PM
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All-In [46816]
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3 months later turnover rate is up 20%
Mar 25, 2021, 1:31 PM
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and the CEO can't figure out why
Message was edited by: FBCoachSC®
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Oculus Spirit [81048]
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stock went up
Mar 25, 2021, 1:34 PM
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no fscks given
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Oculus Spirit [81048]
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That sounds like some ish the place I work would do
Mar 25, 2021, 1:40 PM
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They used to be real dinks about that kinda stuff. If you quit it didn't matter because they were probably going to fire you at some point anyway.
Then COVID happened, and about last April or so, they started acting like they genuinely cared about staff. Like paying people who couldn't come to work, giving them bonuses and stuff if their spouses lost their job etc. Lots of communication from upper mgt about sales volumes, how we were doing etc. It literally turned into a different place to work. I was/am impressed with it.
About two months ago I found out we were getting sold to Super Mega Corp, so I'm not sure if that was related or not. Either way, it's like I got a new job.
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