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All-In [48963]
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When to tell the kids?
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May 24, 2023, 8:13 PM
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Wife of had, let’s say, a ###### up relationship with her step dad. Like, eat this sawdust, you should love the taste. You’re eating fries too fast! I’m ordering 5 large fries and you have to eat them all. And other #### that I won’t go into. Well, at 9:30, we got word that his 96 year old Shitass had broken ribs and had a heart attack. And then an hour later, he was dead. Well, as bad as her relationship was, the kids was better because his old ### was beyond being a control freak. But wife of has not told the kids he’s dead. And seems to be okay waiting indefinitely. Now that I can’t kill him with my bare hands anymore, what’s my best course? Tell them? Let wife of wait til after the funeral to to tell them?
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Lot o points [180912]
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Is this ChatGPT?***
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May 24, 2023, 8:16 PM
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Lot o points [163010]
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Her decision imo.
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May 24, 2023, 8:16 PM
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but you guys need to agree on what happens when one of them asks about him if they do not know.
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110%er [9713]
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Not sure how to respond.
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May 24, 2023, 8:32 PM
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Couldn’t imagine disrespecting a 96 year old. Unless he was a pedo or criminal his entire life, He probably deserved better than he got. Maybe you guys could do something nice for him? Try looking at the good things. If we only look at the bad, well we will end up with losers judging losers. You know what I mean?
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110%er [9713]
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Oh and to answer your question… tell the kids the truth as soon as possible.
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May 24, 2023, 8:41 PM
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Lies and deception will be discovered. Santa Claus ain’t walking through that door. And you can never take that lie back. It’s best to come clean now. You were a liar, but you don’t lie anymore.
They only trust you once. Make that one time last forever.
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Lot o points [163010]
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I can. Old ####### are still #######.
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May 24, 2023, 8:42 PM
[ in reply to Not sure how to respond. ] |
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Age usually just makes them less threatening.
I understand 'turn the cheek' mentality, but I hate it when everyone knows someone was an asshat and they die and suddenly that person was ok.
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All-In [49153]
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I'd let wife decide, and agree with what's said when it
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May 24, 2023, 9:08 PM
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comes up. Similar situation with Mrs No's dad. Our kids saw a lil bit of cranky ol man, but nothing like she saw growing up. N-word is mostly what the kids remember.
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All-In [47683]
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JMO
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May 25, 2023, 8:59 AM
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Tell them now. You do it, with your wife at your side. I don't understand the not telling them part. Yes, dude was an asssshole but if you wait, kids will wonder why you waited to tell them. That just doesn't make sense to me. Go ahead and tell them what an asssshole he was if you need to.
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Heisman Winner [105478]
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Fuuuuudddgggeee. I read that wrong and thought you said
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May 25, 2023, 9:03 AM
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your current wife's ex-husband was 96.
OK, now that I have cleared that up, let her take the lead and do what she feels is right. If he was a really bad dude, she may have some processing before she can help them process anything. Did they have a relationship with him at all?
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Me too. I thought he was married to Anna Nicole Smith***
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May 25, 2023, 9:35 AM
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Orange Blooded [4701]
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In my experience, kids are more intuitive than we give them
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May 25, 2023, 9:13 AM
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credit. So they may already know something is up and also may read between the lines in their relationship.
My mom had a really difficult childhood. While she could never talk, my father was always very forthright with us about it and would step in to have the conversation when she couldn't. They were always on the same page about everything even if I didn't realize it at the time.
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Oculus Spirit [75683]
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Trick the kids into asking wife if they can go see Grandpa?
May 25, 2023, 11:13 AM
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That ought to do the trick?
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Lot o points [155707]
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Do the kids know he exists?
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May 25, 2023, 11:16 AM
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If not, I don’t even see any reason to tell them.
Even if they knew he existed but had no relationship with him, it really doesn’t matter if they’re told. I’m sure I have several different distant relatives who are dead now but I haven’t thought about in years.
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