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YOUR BALANCE
CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE!
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CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE!


Jan 7, 2017, 8:24 PM

Guise, a lot of fans mistakenly believe that the key to bringing home the golden vajayjay trophy next week lies in factors such as "offensive execution", "controlling the line of scrimmage", or even "scoring more points than them" (scoff)... BUT LADY ( not you, osf), GENTLEMEN (maybe TXTF???), joungers, and our dearly departed tote juan, I am here to tell you: I have been to the promise land and I alone know the ONE key that we have been lacking that will bring the long awaited title back to our sons of Clemson.

Last season, 2 days before the title game, I was reading analysis on an Alabama site to get a feel of the game through enemy eyes, and I stumbled across something amazing: there was a dedicated "voo doo" thread in which the grimiest of gumps scraped themselves off their meth trailer floors and offered up as a sacrifice the very most humiliating and darkest secrets in exchange for good karma for the game.

I read the thread (which was later deleted) and I felt like a kid walking in on his parents in latex, bound and gagged. It was like reddit on roids.

This, my fellow hoarders of shame, is what has held us back for the past 35 years. There is no room for any clutter in our consciences. This game is too important to let pride stand in the way of the good karma we need to break through. THIS is what we must do to reach the promised land...

The time is NOW. Let your most humiliating and strangest story (or stories) go and set us free. Set the voo doo in motion against nicky satan and his processed meat players. Hold nothing back. Give up your worst.
And stay tuned: ICT will be contributing...

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We'd all get banded.***


Jan 7, 2017, 8:26 PM



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WHEN WE LOSE IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT!!!***


Jan 7, 2017, 8:30 PM



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I legit cheated on a test


Jan 7, 2017, 8:36 PM

in 5th grade, straight up copied my neighbor's answers. Teach called me out, lied, denied, and later ate fried.......chicken.

Also, did not correct a waitress who charge me the kid's meal price at a restaurant for a kid over 12.

I guessed and won on my last vision test at the DMV.

I trusted a fart yesterday............and won.

Told an ex-gf her butt did not look fat in those pants, although it did, and I secretly liked it.

I used the line, "but baby it's cold outside" to get some fanger-banging done.

Former co-worker with HUGE tatties, asked me what I was looking at when her nips were set to stun, told her the fabric of her shirt was unusual.

Told some Tnetters, I would be in Aiken and would meet them at a Mellow Mushroom. Was legit in Cabo that weekend and left them hanging, LOLLERS.

Lied to Tharealdonjuan about the temp of the tequila I poured for him.

I am aero.




I feel so free now, like the weight of 1000 Alabama women living trailer parks has left my shoulders.

Peace be, Allah

T, out

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I almost got kicked out of Clemson for Academic Dishonesty.


Jan 7, 2017, 8:39 PM

tsb

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I had 2 strikes against me


Jan 8, 2017, 11:15 AM

For alcohol violations, 1 was legit, 1 was utter BS.

When I met mrs fluff I only went to her dorm room like 3 times because I was so afraid of getting that 3rd strike.

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Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE!


Jan 7, 2017, 8:38 PM

I'm not going to spend too much time with the details since this will likely just get buried at this stage of the post.

My most embarassing moment happened while I was working at a camp for the summer. I was a camp runner, meaning that I was the guy that drove into town for whatever reason. At night I'd sleep in a room with about 10 other guys, and the bathrooms were big and always busy, so I was completely abstinent nearly the entire summer.

So one day I got a call that I had to pick up a camper girl who had been bitten by a spider and take her to urgent care. It was policy that if I was driving a camper of the opposite sex somewhere, there had to be another adult (18+) of the opposite sex riding with us. The other adult that came with us was this cute girl that I had had a few conversations with prior. I was somewhat sleep-deprived at the time, and she knew this, so as she had her camp driving clearance and knew the way to the urgent care, she offered to drive, and I accepted.

The camp was in the middle of nowhere, so the ride to the urgent care was pretty long. In that time I fell asleep. I woke up with my #### hard as a rock and the head of it poking out of the leg of my shorts. Before I was able to get my bearings, I felt a surge of pressure and proceeded to ejaculate onto the glove compartment door. Immediately I heard both a shriek and a girl yell, "oh God! Holy #### no!" I turned and looked at both girls. Both of them had obviously seen what happened and both of their faces were like beet red. The car was absolutely silent for the next 10 minutes apart from the sounds of me attempting to wipe up my ##### with an old McDonald's bag. Finally we reached the urgent care, and I dropped them off.

After talking with the girl that drove the next day, I had apparently been hard for like 10 minutes. Both of them were fully aware of it, but both were too embarrassed to wake me up. That was the worst.

tl;dr - Worked at camp. In car with two girls I barely knew. Had wet dream. Ejaculated on glove compartment.

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Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE!


Jan 7, 2017, 8:40 PM





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BEST.TDRAKE.POST.EVER.***


Jan 7, 2017, 8:40 PM [ in reply to Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE! ]



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Sofa king out at Mcdonalds bag.***


Jan 7, 2017, 8:58 PM [ in reply to Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE! ]



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HOF***


Jan 7, 2017, 11:37 PM [ in reply to Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE! ]



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I mean...


Jan 8, 2017, 1:02 AM [ in reply to Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE! ]

this may be the best thing I've ever read in the Jounge. We're talking 12 or 13 years of posts.

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Well...THAT should do it!***


Jan 8, 2017, 4:08 PM [ in reply to Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE! ]



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the Natty is ours!!!!!!***


Jan 9, 2017, 10:46 AM [ in reply to Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE! ]



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THANK YOU FOR WHOMEVER BUMPED THIS FOR ME TO READ THIS***


Jan 9, 2017, 11:02 AM [ in reply to Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE! ]



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Cole @ Beach Cole w/ Clemson Hat


you're welcome


Jan 9, 2017, 1:23 PM

:)

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This needs to be HOF


Jan 10, 2017, 6:01 PM [ in reply to Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE! ]

This post may have been more crucial to our natty win than Watson or Renfrow. Do right by this man and immortalize it.

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I'll have my voo doo candles ..........


Jan 7, 2017, 8:40 PM

that Chocolate game me burning Monday night. Is that good enough?

#IslandTime

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.


Because I Plead the 5th on anything that...........


Jan 7, 2017, 8:45 PM

incriminates me. I know to many people in here lol.

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.


Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE!


Jan 7, 2017, 8:42 PM

When I was 13 a doctor wrote me an adult dose for a certain medicine based on my weight. I was a fat kid. Our body does not work that way and the medicine ended up constipating me...for a month. I did not #### for a whole month. I got sick. I had racoon-like eyes, my stomach would jump or flutter by itself, I had cramps, etc. It was bad. I was miserable.

I finally told my parents how long it had been since i had #### and they freaked out and took me to the hospital. There, they gave 3 enemas back to back. After the third and final one, all that water softened all that #### up just enough i could expel it. I ran to the nearest bathroom, gown open in the back, and tried to make it to the toilet.

I didn't

My ### was hovering at a 45 degree angle above the toilet when the geyser burst. This next part is not a lie, but i know some of you will think it is, I got #### everywhere. On the ceiling (somehow), on the floor, the toilet was covered, the walls, even the sink got hit with some spray. #### was literally, yes literally, sprayed on all walls and ceiling. It was everywhere.
I felt like a new kid after that. Cleaned myself up the best i could and then had to figure out what to do. There was no way i could clean it all up, I needed a janitor. So I walked out and politely told a nurse the bathroom need a clean up and badly.

A janitor was only a few rooms down for some reason so I saw him go by to clean it, but he did not know who i was, he got to the bathroom and the whole ER heard, "Oh Hell no, I ain't cleaning this up. I quit." and he did.

I felt so bad, still do. I made some poor janitor quit his job over a shit-caked bathroom.

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all you need now is a good puke story***


Jan 7, 2017, 9:11 PM



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I believe you. I worked in a hardware store. Some yuuge


Jan 7, 2017, 11:23 PM [ in reply to Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE! ]

lady came in and asked to use the bathroom. Fastforward a couple of hours... since it was a hardware store, most of our clients were men... us workers would usually use the womans restroom because it was cleaner. A coworker named Jerry went to go poop in the womans restroom. He came immediately back and said we had to see this. There was tdrake everywhere... including on the ceiling and walls. They told me I had to clean kinda jokingly... I told them if they were serious, I would quit. We got some cleaning company to come in and clean it.

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Embarrasing?


Jan 7, 2017, 8:42 PM

Ok, I failed out of Georgia Southern, Georgia ###### Southern.



















But I had fun doing it.

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I'm a grad school dropout.


Jan 7, 2017, 8:51 PM

Just got up in the middle of a class and walked out.

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Did that too. Told buddy I was heading home to watch The


Jan 7, 2017, 8:55 PM

King of Queens. Never went back

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I was just like, I don't want to do this anymore.***


Jan 7, 2017, 9:13 PM



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Almost was booted for cheating from lincoln trail community college


Jan 7, 2017, 9:08 PM [ in reply to Embarrasing? ]

Then when schools realized I was good at baseball I wound up at Oklahoma st. Went in on academic probation, didn't take me long to get the hook. Took my talents to Coker college, one year in was put on academic probation. One year later I was kicked off campus for fighting 3 local scrubs. Also wouldn't let a resident advisor out of his room because he pissed me off. I pulled up a chair and told him he would eventually have to come out and I would beat the #### out of him. One semester later kicked out of yet another school for grades.

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This...


Jan 7, 2017, 11:24 PM

doesnt surprise me.

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Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE!


Jan 7, 2017, 8:43 PM

I was 15 and I was at Sam's Club with my parents. I was in the video game section playing some demo on a PS2. I felt like I needed to fart, so I pushed a little. It felt like I had let a silent one out, because I didn't hear it, and it smelled terrible about 2 seconds afterwards, per usual. About 30 seconds later, the smell is still lingering and I was just proud that I had caused that much damage to the air.

My sister [7] comes up to me and asks where I got the chocolate milk, and how I spilled it on my leg. I look down, there's liquid feces on my right leg (was wearing blue Nike shorts and boxers.) I'm terrified. I have poo on my leg. I casually walk to the bathroom.

Here comes the embarrassing part: I'm in the stall, cleaning up my leg, trying to figure out what the hell to do with my boxers, which are covered in poo water. I can't keep them - the car will smell on the ride home. I can't leave them in the stall - there were people waiting. I had to flush them. Well - apparently boxers don't flush well. Toilet backed up, flooding the entire stall and spreading to the rest of the bathroom. I'm freaking out, but I'm clean - I got most of the poo off my leg. A janitor has entered the restroom, and I exit the offending stall. He asks what happened, and I can't speak. I should have, because the boxers were still in the toilet - clearly visible. I just casually walk out.

MEANWHILE... my parents were ready to leave, and couldn't find me. They aren't super hover parents, but they got worried, because I wasn't in the video game section, or the candy section. This ordeal was going on 10ish minutes long. Apparently my sister told them that I walked towards the bathroom with an older man. So, my parents are assuming the worst, and get the security and management involved.

Back to the bathroom. I'm trying to walk out, the janitor finds the boxers and is all huffy-puffy. The manager is walking down the hallway towards the bathroom to try and handle the "missing child with old man" situation. I'm trying to leave the bathroom to handle the "holy ####, I just poo'd my pants and clogged the toiled with my boxers" situation.

Manager stops me, asks me if I was in any type of "situation" and I don't know how to answer. I tell him "there was an incident in the restroom." He takes that as something happened to me with "the old man" I was apparently stolen by. He radios the security to contact the police and to have them head towards the restrooms. I freak out - I didn't think flushing my underwear warranted the police getting involved. My parents get to me - ask if I'm "OK." I'm too embarrassed to tell them what happened (still without knowing what their perception of the matter was.) I said "I'm fine." Security is rushing over, asking me if "he's still in there" I have no idea what they are talking about. They ask me what happened. There is a gathering of rubber-neckers - trying to see what is going on. I'm really confused why this is a huge deal. I confess. I tell them that I mud-butted down my leg, and tried to flush my underwear down the toilet, clogging it in the process.

The looks I got... Worst part was, the police were there in like 5 minutes, and I had to tell them exactly what happened to me. After the "seriousness" of the situation wore off and everyone realized I wasn't molested by an old man, many laughs were had at my expense.

My father to this day still brings this up - family gatherings, at my wedding, holidays...

TL;DR - Liquid poo ran down my leg, my sister told my parents I was abducted by a molester, clogged toilet, had to tell police I sharted.

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I AM A LIAR


Jan 7, 2017, 8:47 PM

THIS IS THE BEST TDRAKE POST EVER

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Oh, they were supposed to have happened to me?


Jan 7, 2017, 8:51 PM

Sorry, I just really want to beat Bama.

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you're 15 and PS2?????? LOLOLOL***


Jan 7, 2017, 8:49 PM [ in reply to Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE! ]



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Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE!


Jan 7, 2017, 8:44 PM

Was sleeping over at a girlfriends house, In the middle of the night I needed to take a leak. So I got up and went about my business and went back to bed.

In the morning I wake up next to a slender Burmese man. I was extremely confused and I look out the doorway and see her standing there signalling me out.

TL;DR: Slept with my girlfriends dad.

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lol, do you have all these saved in a file on your computer?***


Jan 7, 2017, 8:45 PM



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Google


Jan 7, 2017, 8:52 PM

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/pwlhs/most_embarrassing_situation_youve_been_in_story/

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I think this may mess up the "mojo".***


Jan 7, 2017, 8:53 PM



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I've never given Clemson a penny post graduation.


Jan 7, 2017, 9:15 PM

And haven't been to a game since 2011 but have been to 2 of 3 VomitFest. Don't question my commitment to Clemson.

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Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE!


Jan 7, 2017, 8:50 PM

A few weeks ago I was horny and for god knows what reason, decided to try use my cellphone as a vibrator.

Anyway... it got stuck up there and the only person who could get me to hospital was my friend (Who thought it was hilarious).

On the way there he posted on Facebook informing the world of my situation, along with my cellphone number.

For the next hour, I sat in the emergency room waiting area receiving uncomfortable stares as the phone in my ### rung and vibrated, All the while my flatmate laughing hysterically and telling me I'd better answer it as it could be important.

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True story:


Jan 7, 2017, 8:56 PM

tl;dr: Once went to a party and got really drunk. Was walking with a girl back to my place when I realized that I did not have enough alcohol for both of us. So I took off running and ditched her.

(The long story includes waking up in a stairwell of Holtzendorf wearing a toga, cowboy hat, and cowboy boots and walking back home with puke all over the front of me while passing students walking to church.)

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TIL that I may have known tdrake at Clemson


Jan 7, 2017, 8:58 PM

horry shiite

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True story:


Jan 7, 2017, 8:58 PM

Woke up one sitting on the toilet in Johnstone with my pants around my knees. I'd puked in my pants. I'd passed out taking a dump and puked in my drawers.

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TIL that I may have been tdrake at Clemson


Jan 7, 2017, 9:01 PM

horry shiite

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I shat myself at St Paddys in Savannah in college.


Jan 7, 2017, 9:01 PM [ in reply to True story: ]

Kept partying till sunrise.

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dont forget about


Jan 7, 2017, 9:08 PM

throwing up in the stands, wasn't that you?

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Deergot OSF


Jan 7, 2017, 9:10 PM

he isn't a NCSU fan, amirite @clemsonrulez08

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I haven't puked in any stands...


Jan 7, 2017, 9:14 PM [ in reply to dont forget about ]

yet.

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sorry, must have got the lungers confused.***


Jan 7, 2017, 9:16 PM



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I took too many shrooms at a Phish show once...


Jan 7, 2017, 9:18 PM

and had to leave i got so freaked out though. lol

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pfft..majority of st paddy's day partiers do that every year***


Jan 9, 2017, 10:02 AM [ in reply to I shat myself at St Paddys in Savannah in college. ]



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found it***


Jan 7, 2017, 9:15 PM [ in reply to True story: ]



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I got caught shoplifting from a Greenwood store


Jan 7, 2017, 9:02 PM

by my mom when I was 5 and she made me go back into the store, give back the item and apologize.


Other than that.. I guess the last time I interviewed for a new position and I got laughing with the interviewer and I had to grab the top of my dress and stop my boobies from popping out. And the interviewer says "you dont wear that dress often do you?" OSF: "I dont wear any dresses often, you know that". I didnt get the job.

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go on..............***


Jan 7, 2017, 9:04 PM



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pigs or it didn't happen


Jan 7, 2017, 9:43 PM [ in reply to I got caught shoplifting from a Greenwood store ]

;)

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True story:


Jan 7, 2017, 9:06 PM

Went early to basket ball game to get seats under the basket on the floor. Had to endure a women's game. My roommate gets bored, says out loud "I wonder if you shaved all the vajayjay in the world and threw the pubes into Littlejohn, would they fit?" Everyone hears. After a moment of dead silence, all of the people around us start computing the female population, number of females with pubes, etc. People start asking whether it will be packed in or just thrown in loose? Do the concourses and locker rooms count towards the volume. Estimates are made on volume of Littlejohn, etc. People are talking about accounting for the Italians and if a female is currently shaved would you wait for her to grow out first. We even developed a plan of attack where we would ask for volunteers to fill a shoe box and we'd then use that as a basis for calculations. I swear to Tom that the official working under the basket turned and look at us multiple times with a puzzled look on his face.

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True story:


Jan 7, 2017, 9:08 PM

When Stan Olenik was a local sportscaster cover Clemson basketball my roommate and I were at a game on the floor. Stan walks by before the game and my roommate yells "STAN!!!". When Stan stops and turns around, my roommate yelled "FATA$$!!!"

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W. T. F.


Jan 8, 2017, 3:26 AM

I'm all in.

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ICT- Musician, lover, church go-er, child scarrer


Jan 8, 2017, 9:32 AM

When ICT was in college, he was a ruthless poon hunter that would use any means possible to get Wilkins deep in prime booty. He met a 9/10 prime 20 yr old brunette in one of his college classes and planted a seed of interest and backed off. She took the bait and called and ICT discovered that she was a church choir girl. It just so happened that ICT had been in a band or two himself and could tear up a drumset, so he used that as the common interest to set up his plans of poon slaying. She threw a minor hurdle out as a test to see if ICT was bs-ing by inviting ICT to be the drummer for her downtown cootlumbia church's Sunday morning service the next week. Challenge accepted. Swiggity swooty.
Well, it just so happened that Saturday night before the service, one of ICT's fwb's calls and wants to party. Partying ensues, mass shots, staying up til 4am, culminating in hour long primal ##### and what would surely be a killer hangover. ICT wakes up 3 hours later and slips on some church clothes to try to follow through and set up choir girl.
Practice goes fine. The headache was thumping, but bearable. Eyes on the prize. So service starts at 9. Music is first. Done by 9:45. Nailed it. Chick is staring at me like a dude looking at a woman in a string bikini. The humidity in the whole room is up from the moisture. As the preacher starts in on the sermon, I know that the deal is sealed. Then, all my confidence and sense of accomplishment comes crashing like an aero forehead to vomitfest pavement as I feel it... the unmistakable rumbling of bowels that anyone who has had 17 shots and 3 hours of sleep knows all too well. Start the clock. To this day, I have no idea what that preacher was talking about, but I know that sermon was longer than the freaking Lord of the Rings. I was sitting on the stage through the whole service at that drumset squirming, sweating, and trying to fight it, but at 11:30, the fight was over, and I knew I was taking an L. I jumped up and half duck walked, half sprinted across the stage trying to get to a bathroom, but it was too late. Just the effort to walk was too much. I dont know who all saw it, but I know everyone smelled it as I raced down the side aisle leaking sour mash liqui-poo all the way to the back door. As I busted through the bathrooms door like the kool aid man through a wall. I shot into a stall and projectile vomited all over the walls. I pulled my pants off and by some miracle of nature 99% of the chocolate wonderfall was in my boxer briefs and down my legs. I was able to clean up and reuse my pants, but my boxers looked like a lumpy chocolate pie. I stepped out of the stall to throw the boxers in the trash and there was a 5 or 6 year old boy standing there white as a ghost that had witnessed the whole scene. I handed him ten bucks and said- "dont tell" and he just stared at me like a PTSD victim.
I laid the dong on choir girl not 10 hours later and never spoke again.

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Lettuce Beef Cereal here, I needed this today...work and


Jan 9, 2017, 9:58 AM

football got me stressin and this made for a great 2-3 minutes (I read slow).

Thanks ICT, you always bring the lulz.

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I was at a party on Pine Street


Jan 8, 2017, 11:20 AM

I lived behind Hardee's in those little apts.

I felt the sudden urge to take a dump.

I figured I could walk home and take care of business and get back to the party.

I sprint waddled all the way back and no TP in downstairs bathroom.

Ran upstairs and got my pants down around my ankles and BOOM.

Explosive diarrhea all over the place before my ace landed on the seat.

I sat down finished up, cleaned up and went back to the party.

I have never shared this story until now.






I have a freckle on the head of my pen15

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First weekend back to campus after Christmas break


Jan 8, 2017, 11:30 AM

sophomore year (read year 2 of 5). Went to a party with a girl I knew and drank copious amounts of cheap vodka and ate as many jello shots as I could find. Woke up at some point of the night on the sidewalk out front of the apartment complex we were at with a light from a cop car shining on my face. I was still sober enough to realize that meant, "get the #### up," so I stumbled into the apartment where girl I went with realized it was time for me to go.

I spent the entire ride hanging outside of the window like a dog enjoying a ride with its owner, except I was vomiting a Picasso all over the side of the girls car. Once we arrived back on campus, I stepped out of the car to admire my painting while the girl ####### lost it at me and walked away. While I was fully aware of where I lived, I forgot how to get there. So I stumbled around a hundred yard radius for a few minutes, trying all three tall buildings in the vicinity and finally got in, got past the RA at the front desk and made my way upstairs to my suite.

I woke up the next morning and pieced together what happened once I got there. I woke up naked on the toilet. No vomit to be found, thank god. I stood up and immediately screeched in pain. I had taken a massive, runny, liquid #### at some point after I got home and did not wipe my ###. It had dried like pottery. I waddled over to the shower and used almost an entire roll of toilet paper to moisten my ####### to clean myself up.

I had apparently had a striptease for myself the night before prior to mounting the toilet. My clothes were strewn all over the suite bathroom. Once my pottery session had ended, I forced myself to vomit one last time and spent the rest of the day in bed.

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Please forgive me, @IneligibleUser


Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE!


Jan 8, 2017, 1:11 PM

I had a friend in Johnstone that I took to an off campus party with friends. He left with another friend (mine, not his) and went to an apartment on the other side to the RR tracks. Got bored and decided to walk back to Johnstone (forgetting that he'd changed party locations). Ended up at the Holiday Inn wandering around looking for his room. Went to the front desk and told the lady at reception that he couldn't find his room. She asked him what is room number was and as soon as he heard himself say "B718" he sobered up enough to realize where he was and walked back.

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Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE!


Jan 9, 2017, 9:54 AM

I was extremely hungry after a game back in 2006/2007 timeframe. I was hammers off Jim/Coke at the game....all game. We had stopped at TTT for some pitchers of beer before the hunger strike hit and the line for the bathroom was too long to wait to ####, so we walk to Peppino's. We get there and everyone is being passive aggressive about the bathroom and no one is in line, but there is a line....of people sitting at their table. I hate that. So I see a utility closet. I go in said utility closet and just #### down the drain that they used for the mop/mop bucket. I think one foot was in the mop bucket due to the cramped quarters.

Well, I have pissed, we have our pizzas and we head outside to sit and eat and come up with a game plan. Well, we decide to go back to TTT. We go to TTT and this dude comes up to me and says, "I saw you #### in the closet." I was like, ### dude, move on. He kept being persistent that I was in trouble and he was going to go back and tell people at Peppino's. I kept ignoring him. He kept being a punk, so we were all standing at the bar, I lay back and punch the crap out of the dude (he didn't really deserve it and I still feel bad). It was a punch the #### out of him and run type of deal in order to not go to jail. I punched the #### out of him, but didn't run fast enough. Bouncer gets a hold of me. I ended up paying him $20 to get out of there and not call the cops.

Terrible story, but I needed to confess.

/csb

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If I can speak, frankly,


Jan 9, 2017, 10:05 AM

I am not shocked by any of that

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This was the most pawsnationski post I've seen today***


Jan 9, 2017, 10:45 AM [ in reply to Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE! ]



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ROH


Re: CLEMSON CRUCIALLY NEEDS THE JOUNGE!


Jan 9, 2017, 10:02 AM

A few weeks ago I was horny and for god knows what reason, decided to try use my cellphone as a vibrator.
Anyway... it got stuck up there and the only person who could get me to hospital was my friend (Who thought it was hilarious).
On the way there he posted on Facebook informing the world of my situation, along with my cellphone number.
For the next hour, I sat in the emergency room waiting area receiving uncomfortable stares as the phone in my ### rung and vibrated, All the while my flatmate laughing hysterically and telling me I'd better answer it as it could be important.
If anyone can top this you have my upvote.

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Fountian pewp in dt Clemson


Jan 9, 2017, 1:10 PM

It was a Thursday night at TD's, Cody Webb playing his guitar with a beer bottle, etc. Could feel mudbutt bubbling through my intestines and knew there was no where suitable to sit down for a shart at TD's. Buddy recommended Pita Pit and 10/10 would use again.

After my 2nd trip in Pita Pit to use the facilities with no purchase I didn't want to face the cashier again so I decided to walk back to my place near the AGR house. I was about to the bottom of the hill and quickly realized that I would not make it across 123 without ruining my khakis. If you've ever scanned a busy street for an acceptable place to have explosive diarhea, you'll never forget that feeling. Best place I could find was the back side of the fountains in that park on College Ave. I dropped my pants and went to lean against the fake stone but my anus exploded before by back even hit the wall. I actually ended up getting backsplash pewp on my shirt and pants. Waddled across 123 in shame.

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Calvin Johnson once made me post my mobile # in the Lunge***


Jan 9, 2017, 1:21 PM



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Last year of college


Jan 9, 2017, 1:22 PM

went to a party with my girlfriend at the time, wife now with two of her friends and a boyfriend of one of them. The goal was to get shitfaced drunk which I soon realized that nobody else shared that goal.

So party goes as normal, except I am #### faced around people who are barely drunk thanks to half a liter of Evan Williams Honey and about 10 jello shots (the jello shots will come into play later in the story).

Best part of the night was ending up in the hot tub with my eventually-wife-of, and their two friends in their underwear or less. The problem is, having all of that alcohol in your system and then dunking yourself in really hot water for an hour doesn't work well on the ol' intestines.

Finally pass out in bed and wake up around 2 am to expel that foul liquid from my body. Made it to the bathroom fine, did my business (read: puke my guts out). Open my eyes just wide enough to realign for another shot and see nothing but red. My first thought is that it's blood, I have alcohol poisoning and am now going to die. My girlfriend-wife-of leans down, smells it, and explains to my still half drunk self that it is red jello shots.

How do I respond? By drunkenly going to the kitchen buck ### naked to take another shot to settle my nerves.

To this day the smell of honey liquor makes my stomach turn.

That's fu$king sad.

TL;DR: Evan Williams Honey with red jello shots is a ##### that will make you think you have alcohol poisoning and cause everybody in the house to see your dink.

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I like your funny words magic man


We did it, we evoked the powers


Jan 10, 2017, 5:55 PM

Special thanks to Tdrake for dropping bombs on this one... even though the camp thread was a retread and thus didn't count, I did enjoy that one yuk yuk yuk.

A new tradition is born. Let the voo doo hoo doo power only be used for national championship games.

Shout out to Geechie. Go all humiliated and conscience clearing Tigers!

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