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All-In [34486]
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At least I made it to the bathroom this time.
Jun 18, 2021, 3:13 PM
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I was sitting with my team on a conference call. I felt a little brown start making its way through my sphincter. I had to immediately excuse myself without explanation.
I waddle to the bathroom. I could feel the ooze crawling out of my backside. The toilet seat wasn't down. In one fell swoop, I did a hover squat over the toilet because I was scared I was going to fall in. Only a little bit splashing sound resulted.
You know what that means. To my dismay, I looked back and dropped a hot load of Mexican food all over the hinges of the toilet seat, onto the ground and down the sides. The smell was something I'll never forget.
I spent most of a roll o TP trying to scrape the chunks of my own #### back into the toilet. The bathroom is soaking in bleach now. I almost took a picture pre-cleanup, but even I'm disgusted with myself.
Happy Friday everyone.
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All-In [34486]
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This one is going to require a screw driver***
Jun 18, 2021, 3:14 PM
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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Got a brownr that won't let go?
Jun 18, 2021, 3:15 PM
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Gotta dig it outta back there?
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All-In [34486]
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No, it got underneath the hinges of the seat. Bold
Jun 18, 2021, 3:21 PM
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brown outlines around the little plastic covers that I can't get to without removing the seat 
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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To really get it clean, you should go ahead and
Jun 18, 2021, 3:26 PM
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burn your house down.
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All-In [34486]
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Re: To really get it clean, you should go ahead and
Jun 18, 2021, 3:27 PM
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Couldn't get the seat off for some reason, and didn't wanna get my fingers too dirty. So I just used one of these to squirt the brown off
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Oculus Spirit [81061]
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The human body is pretty disgusting.***
Jun 18, 2021, 3:14 PM
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Hall of Famer [24059]
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Another top shelf fecal story***
Jun 18, 2021, 3:35 PM
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Oculus Spirit [79241]
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You are a filthy human being
Jun 18, 2021, 3:37 PM
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I love you
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All-In [40344]
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I know those feels
Jun 18, 2021, 3:37 PM
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Was at a party in Clemson down the street from our place
I felt that same feeling you speak of and there was no way that it was a party poo
Only option was to run home
Disappeared from the party undetected
Waddled home to our apt
Never clenched so hard in my life
I knew the downstairs bathroom was out of TP, so I had to get upstairs
I got to the top of the stairs and right into the bathroom
Belt was undone half way up the stairs, pants were starting to come down and there was sweet porcelain victory 2 steps away
As soon as I spun and went to take my seat the bottom fell out
I splattered in the direction of the toilet, but not even close to having it contained in there
I did some cleaning and went back to the party
Pretty sure this is the first I’ve ever spoken of this story
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All-In [29860]
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Great tale!
Jun 18, 2021, 4:15 PM
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Did it taste…I mean smell, mucous sweet, or sweaty earthy? What’s for supper?
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All-TigerNet [13764]
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I imagine it smelled like a burning dirty diaper.***
Jun 18, 2021, 4:32 PM
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All-In [34486]
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Re: I imagine it smelled like a burning dirty diaper.***
Jun 18, 2021, 6:30 PM
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I worked at a restaurant in college and one time a homeless man came in and #### all over the bathroom. The walls, the floor, everything. That’s what it smelled liked.
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Hall of Famer [24059]
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Re: I imagine it smelled like a burning dirty diaper.***
Jun 18, 2021, 6:48 PM
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When I was at Clemson I went to a Ryan's for hungover late lunch (I was a hungry poor beast). I walked into the bathroom to take a pre feast ####, and this guy walks out of the stall and says, "It's a tad bit messy." So I'm thinking a tad bit messy is some toilet paper on the ground or some #### on the seat. I walked in and there was turd spew all over the seat and walls. It looked like the guy spun around the stall while spraying turd spray everywhere. Walked out and never went back to Ryan's again.
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All-In [29860]
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