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YOUR BALANCE
A tale of 5 years. Rambling about fathers,sons, and families
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A tale of 5 years. Rambling about fathers,sons, and families


Jan 13, 2016, 12:19 PM

My dad passed in August of 2011. He was a lifelong Tiger fan, and I've rambled on here about it before, but I was thinking about the past seasons and my current situation and though of some interesting (at least to me) things. I'm gonna ramble some more so feel free to ignore it if it's not your cup of tea.

My dad and I sat in Charlotte closing out 2010 watching the Tigers play USF. We were all over the place as a team, and made so many mistakes in an ugly loss. I remember sitting next to him and grumbling a bit and in all honesty he grumbled his share as well. He was a lifelong Tiger fan and Clemson football was our common language over the years. He'd seen many more lean years in his life in regard to the Tigers and while he didn't like to lose he always had a way about him after a loss that pointed toward optimism for the next game, or the next year, or the next whatever. We road back home after the game thinking about the few positives we took away from the game and by the time we were home the loss was pretty much left in Charlotte. Who knew that in retrospect that would be one of the dearest memories I have.

Then 6 months later he got sick. Fast. It was 3 short months from diagnosis to him passing. A whirlwind 3 months where we as a family soaked up every minute of wisdom and comfort we could from his presence. He was a rock. A wise man. I've said it before but if I can end up being a tenth of the man he was then I will be a success.

The 2011 season began and with each victory Clemson football once again became a calming, unifying, and supportive entity in my family's life. Mom, my sister and I discussed the games ad nauseum and I made the trip to every home game that year and we wept tears of joy and sorrow during the alma mater every dang time. We won a bunch, then we lost a few, and then came the bowl game. My family decided to break my rule about never travelling to Florida to see the Tigers play (that's another story, but suffice to say we are bad luck for the Tigers in the sunshine state). We sat in the Orange Bowl that night and saw us get ripped apart. We all know it was a bad bad night for the Tigers and add to that the catharsis of mourning dad that night. But, by the time the plane landed back in Greenville, the loss was back in Miami. The lessons we'd seen from dad came through and we were once again looking to the next game, the next season, the next whatever.

Fast forward to 2014. Right as the season began my marriage of 14 years unexpectedly ended. There's much to the story, but in short she simply decided she didn't want to be married anymore. Those months sucked. I tried to rally time and again, and once again Tiger football was a constant. It was a unifying force in my family. A subject to discuss and escape life for a few hous every Saturday. I sat and watched us wear out Oklahoma and smiled knowing dad would've been his normal self. He wouldn't celebrate much at all until the clock read all zeros and then he'd smile widely and bask in the joy. Our family did so, and once again Tiger football was a supportive structure to myself, my mom, and my sister as they helped me through the disorientation and mourning of the loss of my marriage.

And then there is this year. Near the beginning of this season I quite unexpectedly met a wonderful lady. I wasn't looking and nor was she, but God decided to be gracious and allow us both another chance at the stable grace of joy that comes from finding another. I've never had children and always assumed that part of life was never going to be mine to experience. I'd made my peace with it. However this wonderful woman came with a family with whom I've become very close. Through the season one of her sons who is a huge football fan watched and followed the Tigers with me. Clemson football was once again a unifying and bonding force in my life. He thrilled with each win and we discussed the games in much the same way my dad and I did. I brought them to a few games when I could and I saw him light up as he sat in Death Valley for the first time. He sat beside me in the living room watching the other games, tossing a football to himself and smiling widely, just as I did next to my dad. And surely just as my dad did I couldn't stop smiling watching him fall in love with Clemson.

And then, Monday night. That was, despite the loss, a great game. It hurts to lose, no doubt, but I sat on that couch with her son (and soon to be mine as we are getting married) and her other children and I saw them experience their first loss as Tiger fans. I tried my best to channel my dad and celebrate the great season and to begin looking forward to the next game, the next season, the next whatever.

So, here's to Tiger football. A stabilizing and unifying force in my family.
And here's to my Dad. The greatest man I've ever met.
And here's to my new family. A blessing I could never deserve.

And here's to whipping Auburn in the next game. Go Tigers.

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Re: A tale of 5 years. Rambling about fathers,sons, and families


Jan 13, 2016, 12:28 PM

Great read.

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Awesome -- thanks for sharing!


Jan 13, 2016, 12:45 PM

And who's cutting those onions in here?!?

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Aspiring member of the TigerNet Sewer Dwellers


Re: Awesome -- thanks for sharing!


Jan 13, 2016, 12:56 PM

A wonderful read. It sounds like you and your dad had a great relationship . One day you two can discuss Clemson football again up there in heaven .

The good Lord has ways of making even the toughest of time seem like a bump in the road once the journey is finished.

May you,your new wife and your new family enjoy many years of Clemson football together and the good Lord willing....A National Championship .

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awesome "tiger_thom"...great story shared with your other Sports Family...


Jan 13, 2016, 2:38 PM

TigerNet!! Good luck & GoTiGERS!

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thanks thom, really nice read and close to home.***


Jan 13, 2016, 2:39 PM



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