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Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore


  by - Contributor - Wednesday, January 22, 2014 11:48 AM
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I love talking smack as much as the next guy and I love to poke fun at the opposition. Heck, it’s why ole Crump gives me a little space to write each week during the football season. Talking a little junk makes the games more interesting to me, even when someone like Richard Sherman goes all Incredible Hulk and screams and scares poor Erin Andrews.

That’s why I consider the back-and-forth banter between the two in-state head coaches to be entertaining. It makes the rivalry relevant, and even though Clemson has owned bragging rights since Moby Dick was a sardine, the Gamecocks have won five in a row and written their own revisionist history and given the rivalry a little kick.

However, it stopped being all kicks and giggles last weekend. It just got creepy. South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier has delighted in grabbing microphones this month – he took the mic away from the guy at the Capital One Bowl and started his own little rant, totally taking away the accomplishment of his team’s win over a good Wisconsin team and throwing it back on himself.

Clemson head coach Dabo SwinneyDabo Swinney
Head Coach
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responded – in a way – by telling the entire world after the Orange Bowl that Clemson was the only team from the state of South Carolina to win a BCS Bowl, drawing cheers from the orange-clad faithful still in the stands and listening on the radio.

This past weekend, however, it took the creepy turn. Spurrier again looked like a drunk sailor grabbing for a mic at a karaoke bar, and again he showed his obsession with all things Clemson when he talked about the streak. Heck, he deserves to talk about the streak because his teams have won five in a row. But he didn’t stop at the streak, he went on to talk about Clemson’s Sammy WatkinsSammy Watkins
Jr. Wide Receiver
#2 6-1, 205
Fort Myers, FL

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, who to my knowledge has never said anything bad about South Carolina or Spurrier. At least I guess it is who he was talking about – he looks and sounds like someone’s over-medicated uncle at a kid’s birthday party, and he made about as much sense.

So, that brings me back to Swinney. Will he respond? The answer here is: I hope not. Just let it be. Heck, even the people who cover college football nationally are beginning to wonder what is wrong with that man, and by responding, Swinney will simply be an accomplice to the foolishness Spurrier has been spewing forth.

In many ways, Dabo doesn’t deserve to respond. The streak says that to be true. But last weekend’s rambling and disjointed diatribe mean there are no rules.

However, If I’m Dabo, I smile and talk about how great South Carolina and Spurrier is every time I am asked about them between now and next November. I don’t talk any smack. I don’t talk any junk. I take the high road, and show the kind of class other people will never find by going shirtless in public or rolling around on rubber balls on videos. Or talking about student athletes from another program. That crossed the line.

Don’t get me wrong – you have to admire what Spurrier has done in Columbia. It’s not much of a town, and he has had to turn around a program that was once the laughingstock of college football. Now, people don’t laugh at that program, they just laugh at their fans. Not many coaches could have accomplished what he accomplished at South Carolina.

And I see what he is trying to do – for all of their success, they still haven’t won a league title, they haven’t played in any kind of bowl game of note, and they’ve played in their league championship game exactly once in their history. That was an epic beatdown, and I am sure some of their defenders still have Cam Newton’s cleat marks on their backs and faces.

So see? He’s a genius. He is a magician. He uses sleight of hand. Despite Tennessee, Florida and Georgia not having the type of programs they are used to having – can anyone remember Tennessee and Florida being this kind of down for this long at the same time – the Gamecocks still haven’t won anything in their precious conference. Despite having as easy of a road as they will ever have, they really haven’t made a difference in the conference. They still find a way to be South Carolina, lose that head-scratcher of a game and watch someone else get beat up by the SEC West in the SEC Championship Game.

So, every year they get invited back to the South Carolina Memorial Outback or Champs Bowls, and they play a team from somewhere in the Midwest and they win and they go home and wonder what Clemson is doing in recruiting.

In short – Spurrier has turned into a South Carolina fan. A friend of mine once gave me his login and told me to go to their message boards, and he asked me if I noticed a trend. I did. No matter the subject or topic, it always came back to Clemson.

Examples, if you will.

Topic: Clowney taken in first five picks?
First reply: Clemson won’t have someone taken in first five picks.

Topic: Gamecocks start out 0-4 in SEC in hoops
First reply: Well, Clemson would be 0-5 after four games in the SEC

Topic: 2-star LB has South Carolina in his top five
First reply: Clemson doesn’t have a stud like this anywhere on their roster

Topic: Prayers for my dad please, he has surgery today
First reply: Clemson’s schedule is terrible

Topic: Bruce Ellington declares for NFL Draft
First reply: Ellington is better than any of Clemson’s juniors, including Sammy Watkins, and will be the first player taken overall

Topic: SEC releases 2014 schedule
First reply: Clemson would go 0-21 with that schedule

Topic: It might be 97 degrees in Columbia Sunday
First reply: It has never been 97 in Clemson

Topic: Just bought my first car!!
First reply: A Clemson fan has never bought a car.

Topic: What do you prefer, PC or Mac?
First reply: Tajh BoydTajh Boyd
RS Sr. Quarterback
#10 6-1, 225
Hampton, VA

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didn’t beat us, so I don’t know what you’re talking about

See what I mean? Their coach and fans have had to live with more attention being given to Clemson over the last two seasons, despite the streak. The Tigers have gone on to steal the bowl spotlight, if you will, and the Ole Ball Coach has to find a someway to keep his fans on his side. It’s brilliant. You just become one of them.


So, Dabo, don’t say a word. You don’t deserve to say a word. Even when you beat them next season, throw platitudes and compliments their way. And you will beat them next season. All streaks end, and even blind squirrels eventually go hungry. The rivalry will turn, and if you follow recruiting or were paying attention this season, it’s closer than they want to think.

Let him have his fun now. Let him take his shots. Because even the over-medicated uncles at the birthday party eventually come back to earth; the medicine wears off, and reality sets in. It’s like I tell my friend – you can’t argue with stupidity. Just sit back and smile – they know how they sound, and it frustrates them. They can’t help it. They know that despite the streak, we still laugh at them. And now, their head coach embodies the very reason we laugh at them. We get it. They don’t.

They know how they sound. They know we laugh at them. It infuriates them. Dabo needs to teach Spurrier the same lesson, and let the rest of the country sit back and laugh at the crazy uncle with us.

Oh yeah, and just win baby.

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Post your comments
Subject (Replies: 71) Author
New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
TigerNet News®
Love it. So true.***
Micallen
Absolutely beautiful
ncsutiger86
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
treyhair
and slurriers boss and his boss are the ones to reign in the
ragtop
Re: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
74TIGER
agree***
ClemsonTiger1988®
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
smitty1959®
This is Gold!***
The FIGHTINGDABOS®
Finally...some common sense!***
kpower777
WHAT is the so-called latest drunken rant? What did he
CATiger87
Re: WHAT is the so-called latest drunken rant? What did he
Greenboaz
What's wrong with going shirtless in public?
cutigerbob®
This
Injun Tiger
Even better when you put that into motion...
cutigerbob®
Why am I recalling scenes from "Willy Wonka and
CUTiger1989®
Re: Even better when you put that into motion...
92TigerJohn
Whats wrong with going pantsless in public?
joetigerny
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
kiknchkn®
Seriously ... why are you here?***
CUTiger1989®
True story -I was watching the cartoon, err, Comedy channel
Tickled Orange®
Re: True story -I was watching the cartoon, err, Comedy channel
IvegottheCooties
You didn't like the SEC analogy? I dont know why I
Tickled Orange®
Man I'm sorry-can I make it up to you? You like Gummy Bears?***
Tickled Orange®
Re: True story -I was watching the cartoon, err, Comedy channel
allorangeallthetime52®
Seriously, how many times are you going to repeat this?***
TigerzzRoar®
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
allorangeallthetime52®
Only response is to say nothing now and beat them in Nov
T1gerpaws®
A BIG AMEN TO THIS POST
kodibuddy
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
deleted
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
gmurphy10®
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
allorangeallthetime52®
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
IBeWriteGood®
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
IvegottheCooties
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
kodibuddy
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
Spotter22
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
92TigerJohn
My thoughts exactly***
tlptigerfan®
Spurrier Is Full of Crap
BIG ORANGE
AMEN---oh..how many conference championship has spurrier won***
kodibuddy
Re: Spurrier Is Full of Crap
Spotter22
Re: Spurrier Is Full of Crap
BIG ORANGE
I hope Dabo has ONE goal.....eclipse 63-17....no kneel downs
WEOWNUSC
Coots SEC Slogan
BIG ORANGE
Great article
Tiger Woods
The single beat thing I have ever read on Tnet! Go Prophet!***
Orange Palmetto
Best****
Orange Palmetto
LOL...this is hilarious and so very accurate***
BigCUFan®
Great article, David ... uh, Prophet.
CUTiger1989®
It sounds like it came from a GeeHawdist to me***
Tickled Orange®
He's dead on. However, a lot of our fans on Tigernet are
CDef
THIS Made my day since I'm in bed with bronchitis so needed
lightbulbbill®
Pe***
Tigerprowler
People don't laugh at their program, they just laugh at their fans.
Tigerprowler
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
hinds1962®
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
kodibuddy
good stuff!***
sav82tiger
Scary how he reads my mind.***
BengalBilly
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
pacman116
Drunk Uncle from SNL
TigerzzRoar®
Been saying this for 3 years now.
NGATigr
Agree! Won't bring up anything rhyming with lame smocks
nothinman72
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
alpha male
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
allorangeallthetime52®
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
MyBoyBlue
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
allorangeallthetime52®
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
allorangeallthetime52®
Agree 1000%***
Tiger_Fan_007®
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
Lee Honeycutt
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
georgebailey
Prophet, as a newer Clemson fan,
Clemson_Fan_I_am
Re: New Story: Prophet to Dabo: Don't respond to "crazy uncle" anymore
PurplePain

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