Photo-realistic Death Valley replica!
Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca

  by - Monday, August 26, 2013 9:46 AM

Dear Mike Binaca of the Orlando Sentiment,

I truly hate to see another human being in the throes of some kind of mental breakdown, and I trust and hope that the editors and human resources personnel at the Orlando Sentiment pay for you to get the help you need.

In case you missed it, Mr. Biangi, obviously in the middle of some sort of episode that caused the flow of oxygen to his brain to be interrupted, wrote this extremely well thought-out (not really) and fact-laden (nope, not really again) column….here.

In his column, Mr. Branca wrote that the feared Florida St. Seminoles were poised to not only win the ACC this season, but for years to come. His reasoning seemed to be along the lines of…… FSU players are now allowed to wear hats, so they are destined to be ACC Champions.

Honestly, I get it. Florida St. announced they were back to the nation in the ACC Championship Game – attended by several people – when they barely escaped an average and .500 Georgia Tech team by a whopping 21-15.

They once again thrilled the nation – again in front of several people, at least 10 of which cared – when they beat a Northern Illinois team 31-10 in the Orange Bowl. Yessir, those are the kinds of games that announce and herald the coming of a superpower.

One other “fact” that Mr. Bianca Jagger used to support his theory of impending Florida St. dominance is the fact that little Bimbo Fisher is a Nick Saban disciple. That’s great. Awesome. I grew up in a Christian household, and Jesus had 12 disciples, and one thing is for certain – none of them were Jesus.

Mr. Jagger authoritatively states that the Seminoles are SEC-esque. I agree with that statement wholeheartedly. Why? Because like every other team in that conference and every other team in the nation, they wish they were Alabama. Only Alabama is Alabama. SEC-esque could mean like Kentucky, correct? Or Miss St.? Or, gulp, Missouri? Vanderbilt?

Could it be Florida St.’s outstanding non-conference schedule last season of Murray St., Savannah St. and South Florida, in addition to the Florida game? This year they have Idaho, Nevada and Bethune-Cookman. Yeah, that is playing the big boys Jimbo!! Go for it!

Maybe he means that Fisher’s clubs have done so well against the SEC they should be considered for induction into that league as an honorary member. Let’s see, last year there was a 37-26 loss to a Florida team that couldn’t score on a free hooker. The same Florida team that was embarrassed by Louisville in the bowl game. Maybe that is what he means.

Well, I have a number for Mr. Jagger or Binaca or whatever he is – Zero. Nada. Zilch. Nothing.

That is the exact number of career passing yards for projected quarterback starter Jameis Winston. Clemson starter Tajh BoydTajh Boyd
RS Sr. Quarterback
#10 6-1, 225
Hampton, VA

View Full Profile
has thrown for 8,053 yards in his career. Winston won’t make up that kind of ground against Bethune-Cookman.

Oh, and before you go ahead and hang all of those future ACC banners in Doke Camel Stadium, please take note of the fact that Clemson has actually won six of the past ten contests between the two schools, and Florida St. hasn’t won in Death Valley since 2001.

Unlike Mr. Binaca, however, I won’t throw a prediction out there. Let’s just let the games play out and hang the banners AFTER the games have been won. Perhaps he will be out of therapy by then.

Pigskin "Your Daddy" Prophet

Rate this Story:
104 votes
Send Feedback to TigerNet Staff: Email | Comment
    Clemson vs. Georgia prediction - 1 day ago
    No more talk, no more guessing, no more chest-thumping and message board bad boys. It’s time to play the game. Full Story »
    Tommy Bowden says Clemson's defense holds the key to beating Georgia - 4 days ago
    Clemson's defense is expected to be a strength this season, but former head coach Tommy Bowden said the defense didn't play particularly well in big games last season and will have to rise to the occasion of the Tigers are going to upset the Bulldogs in Athens this Saturday. Full Story »
    ESPN's Pollack and Palmer break down Clemson-UGA - 1 week ago
    ESPN college football analysts David Pollack and Jesse Palmer spent the early part of Thursday afternoon on a conference call with the national media, and the early part of the call centered on the Clemson and Georgia opener in nine days and Clemson’s chances of making a run at the four team playoff. What does Pollack say about Deshaun Watson? Where does he rank Clemson's defense? Full Story »
    Brooks' injury leads to questions in the running game - 1 week ago
    The injury to junior running back Zac Brooks robbed the Clemson football team of its second-most experienced running back? Does that mean one of the freshmen will avoid a redshirt? Can Tyshon Dye make it back in time to help? Full Story »
    Cause for concern with the offense? - 2 weeks ago
    Offensive coordinator Chad Morris wasn't happy following Saturday's scrimmage, and he said it was time for the coaches to turn up the heat on an offense that has to face Georgia in two weeks. What disappointed him? What does he say about the turnovers? Full Story »

Post your comments
Subject (Replies: 32) Author
Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca
TigerNet News®
Fact is, nobody in the country does less with more
Careful, people will come in and rip you for saying things
No doubt.***
Smiling Tiger®
I have been waiting for this almost ....
I beg to differ
TX Tiger®
Mike Bianicana, u sir just got owned...
Re: Mike Bianicana, u sir just got owned...
Don't want to BE like Bama.... want to BEAT them.***
Someone PLEASE forward this to the Orlando Sentinel.***
Re: Someone PLEASE forward this to the Orlando Sentinel.***
I can't hide it ...
Re: I can't hide it ...
It will be interesting to revisit his pages when...
Thank you and well said u can add
Re: Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca
Re: Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca
Re: Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca
Re: Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca
Streaking Tiger
Hey Binaca, grab
FSU is SEC-esque
You ain't playin on my emotions!
"a 37-26 loss to a Florida team that couldn't score on a free hooker"
Hey Binaca....
Re: Hey Binaca....
This is gold, Jerry! Gold!***
I had an email retort as well...
Tiger Diesel®
In tha FAAAAAAACE!!!***
Re: Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca
HAHA!! I loved the line about Jesus' disciples
Re: Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca
Re: Front Page Story: Pigskin Prophet: Dear Mike Binaca

Subscribe to our RSS Feed
Follow us on Twitter
Follow us on Facebook
Sign Up for News Alerts
Daily Digest