Pigskin Prophet: Butch Jones touchdown edition |
Sometimes, you gotta score touchdowns.
In case you missed it, the University of Tennessee football program is a dumpster fire. They got beat by South Carolina last week, a team that has won five games but has played Sister Sadie Dinkins Sunday School Class each week except for the opener, and they’ve looked absolutely awful in rolling to five wins. In the un-vaunted SEC Least, Tennessee is one of the worst teams in a very bad division, but they had their chances against the woeful Cocks last weekend. Unfortunately, they didn’t score a touchdown and lost 15-9 in a snooze fest that put even the most arden fan to sleep. And good old Butch Jones, who has been skating on rails since the beginning of the season, came out with another great Butchism when he said the Vols did everything it takes to play winning football except score touchdowns. For the record, the woecocks didn’t score a touchdown, either, and they still won. Gotta love the worst division in college football. Now on to some picks, and if you get offended, send Crump an email and he will in turn send me coupons for Fight Club in the Clemson locker room next week. SATURDAY OKLAHOMA ST. AT TEXAS The Mullet – and it's so fabulous of a mullet the University of South Carolina honored him with a degree – takes his team down to Austin for a key matchup against Tom Herman’s Horns. The Mullet understands the Cowboys can’t lose another game, so he’ll have them somewhat ready to play something resembling defense. Close early. COWBOYS 31, HORNS 22 LOUISVILLE AT FLORIDA ST. Remember when people thought both of these teams could make the playoff? Remember when Ville fans actually had something to cheer about? Remember when FSU had an offense? This game has some intrigue because of the beatdown the Cards put on the Noles last sseason, but FSU isn’t good enough on offense to return the favor. This one will be filled with penalties and Bobby Petrino looking pained as he scans the crowd for volleyball players. But, alas, the Cards lose again. FSU 27, VILLE 20 TENNESSEE AT ALABAMA Here’s the deal. Tennessee has nothing to lose. Alabama will be looking ahead to whatever team they play next. The Vols will be playing for Jones’ job. They will be playing for pride. They will play with passion and emotion and they will give it everything they have. And it will still be laughable. ALABAMA 59, TENNESSEE 0 UNC AT VIRGINIA TECH UNCHEAT is feeling pretty good about things. They committed the worst academic/athletic scandal in recent memory, made a mockery of the NCAA, won several championships by breaking all the rules and the only punishment they have is that they have to continue to watch games in that terrible stadium while Buffy and Toffy and Michael eat cheese and drink wine. This week they travel to a real football stadium, and they get beat. As they should. HOKIES 37, AFAM 17 MICHIGAN AT PENN ST. Captain khaki pants takes his offensively-challenged Wolverines into Happy Valley for a date with some angry Lions. People in the media have once again overestimated Michigan simply because their head coach is a toolbag, and they’ll get another loss this weekend when the bunch from Nittany send them back to the Big House with their coach tucked between their legs. PENN ST. 24, MICHIGAN 13 USC AT NOTRE DAME The big question..will Notre Dame fans sell all their tickets to the condom company from California? Remember when Georgia sold out the house that Rockne built earlier this season? The guess here is that not enough Cali people care about football to make the trip to somewhere in Indiana, but the magums have one good thing going for them – Notre Dame’s Brian Kelly doesn’t know how to win a big game. This isn’t a big game. IRISH 28, TROJANS 21 WAKE FOREST AT GEORGIA TECH Pawwwl and his squad prepare to take on a pretty good Demon Deacon defense. The problem, however, is that the Deacs don’t see the option very much and it will take them the better part of a half to adjust to Johnson’s linemen falling down and rolling around the field while their running backs run wild. The Deacs will make it interesting, but not interesting enough. JACKETS 27, DEACS 17
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