4 chatters in TigerActive Chat   Go!  
Front Page » TigerNet Forums » Archives » Tiger Board Archive

Topic: Greetings my Tiger brethren!
Replies: 31   Last Post: Sep 4, 2014 9:20 PM by: TigerLinks
This topic has been archived - replies are not allowed.

Back to [ Archives - Tiger Board Archive ]
Greetings my Tiger brethren! [67]
Posted: Sep 1, 2014 10:32 PM

Hello Everyone!

I thought you might enjoy this regarding the classic beat-down that was dispensed on the 28th:

First of all, I apologize for the delay in my report from Cootville, but I have been enjoying our illustrious eastern seaboard throughout the weekend, and I haven't had time to assemble correspondence. I'll spare you the mushy details of my travel itinerary, but suffice it to say that I have had a terrific sojourn...well...for the most part.

Columbia, South Carolina was everything you said it would be, and then some. Wow, what skid mark that place is. Obviously, I wasn't able to see and do everything in the roughly 48 hours I spent there, but I saw enough to say that it's thankfully a "unique" place. I will paint a rough sketch of the experience that I had, along with what others experienced based on reliable sources:

1. Midnight Yell Practice (a time-honored Aggie tradition) was greeted by a large group of students and t-shirt fans who were compelled to yell F YOU and F TEXAS A&M repeatedly throughout the proceedings. Ostensibly the crowd felt it was their religious duty to defend the capital grounds upon which we were assembled. Sadly, they lacked the ability to organize unified yells, so it mostly sounded like a collection of drunk rednecks crying about an abused girlfriend/sister/first cousin who ran away.

2. Maurice's Piggy Park BBQ I had to eat there to settle the debate that arose as a result of my initial post. Unfortunately, I cannot offer a definitive judgement, as I am torn between calling it above average overall and kind of "meh." Since I was in Rome, I tried the pulled pork plate, and I had them serve me some with and some without the yellow baby crap sauce. I found that they did a pretty good job with the meat, but the sauce was not my favorite. So to sum up, I would say that Maurice's knows how to cook pig, and I would go there again. Thanks for the recommendation.

3. The South Carolina campus is very nice, well laid out and contains beautiful architecture here and there. Unfortunately, the campus also contains one of the largest collections of ####### that I have ever seen in my life. I consider myself to be well traveled, but I have never been flipped off or had so many supposedly learned ne'er-do-wells say F YOU to me for no apparent reason other than a strange sense of pride in my life. Those that didn't offer obscenities offered little else. The tailgate scene was as bad as it gets for visiting fans. Precious few coots even bothered to look our way, and even fewer had the forethought to invite us into their tent. Those that did (all 2 of them) mostly wanted to talk insufferably amateur trash and provided cold Busch light along with something indistinguishable to eat. But it's the thought that counts, so it wasn't all bad.

4. The tailgating scene at the stadium is something that I skipped altogether. However, one of the Aggie faithful and his friend were walking amongst the coot tents near the stadium, tossing around a Nerf football, when a drunk coot walked up and punched one of the guys in the face for no reason whatsoever. Luckily, there was a cop nearby who witnessed everything, and the festivities quickly concluded without further incident.

As I said, I missed the roach tailgating scene mostly because I was involved in a prolonged bout of combat parking (which is to be expected). However, the traffic control in and out of the roach is, by far, the worst I have ever seen. It is legitimately a disgrace. I won't go into details here, but it took me 2 hours to drive to my hotel less than 15 miles away from the stadium. Nuff said.. but I could go on and on.

5. The Cockroach wasn't quite as unsanitary as I expected in general, but the pervasive smell of feces was unmistakable. Out of morbid curiosity, I ordered a coke with ice, and it indeed had a distinctly piquant bouquet of rancid taint butter mixed with bovine scat. I cannot imagine how this isn't the NUMBER ONE PRIORITY for the university AD staff to correct this travesty to the human condition within the confines of that stink hole. Everything else about their pathetic team intro: fire extinguishers, incessant Sandstorm and crowing cawk sounds, along with the ridiculous homage to picnic fare at midfield, was beyond hysterical to me. In honor of their love for Sandstorm, we have put together an extended music video for all to enjoy:

6. The coot fan base was interesting, to say the least. To me, they were a cross between Arky fans and Baylor fans. Very annoying, very rude, without purpose or thought and among the lowest football I.Q.'s that I have ever come across. I was sitting near the 40 on the 5th row of the 2nd deck, surrounded by coots. I was never personally assaulted beyond a few F Yous, but I had already grown accustomed to that by game time. It was glorious to see the mass exodus at about the 6 minute mark of the 3rd quarter. EXTREMELY reminiscent of Texas fans. Just a pathetic collection of rabid turn-coat idiots. The stunned faces throughout the game were too sweet to describe, but here are a few images that sum it all up:

That chick is now famous.

Thanks again for all of the pregame trolling tidbits and the valuable information that made my trip to Cootville much more enjoyable. Should be interesting to see how the coots react to Aggieland, but I'm certain it won't be anywhere close to as classy as you guys. Hope we can arrange another home-and-home sometime soon.

Good bye for now, and I'll come back soon.


7568 people have read this post

Subject (Replies: 31) Author Date Posted
Greetings my Tiger brethren!
TheGoodAg Sep 1, 2014 10:32 PM
That chick looks like she could mow down trees and ### a creek
argonaut1992® Sep 1, 2014 10:44 PM
Yep. She could definitely eat corn on the cob through a
TheGoodAg Sep 1, 2014 10:48 PM
Re: Yep. She could definitely eat corn on the cob through a
allorangeallthetime52® Sep 1, 2014 10:58 PM
Re: That chick looks like she could mow down trees and ### a creek
92TigerJohn Sep 2, 2014 2:12 PM
Outstanding piece of Gonzo journalism from the front lines.
SocMan2® Sep 1, 2014 10:51 PM
Re: Greetings my Tiger brethren!
Copenhagen kid® Sep 1, 2014 10:58 PM
Re: Greetings my Tiger brethren!
clemtiger117® Sep 1, 2014 11:00 PM
I post once per month at the most. This warrants a thumbs up.***
jj1492® Sep 1, 2014 11:09 PM
Re: I post once per month at the most. This warrants a thumbs up.***
2000® Sep 1, 2014 11:43 PM
I agree***
WynsvlNCTiger® Sep 2, 2014 12:18 AM
WoW..the AG's are awesome, especially The Good1
lightbulbbill® Sep 2, 2014 12:25 AM
that was wonderful! totally enjoyed hanging & drinking with Aggies!
jbthe1tiger99® Sep 2, 2014 12:18 AM
One of the best things I've ever read on tigernet.***
tigerdrummer® Sep 2, 2014 6:13 AM
Hard for Clemson fans to rag on SCar's traffic situation
grover173 Sep 2, 2014 7:12 AM
Columbia is a city, Clemson is in the middle of nowhere with
tigerking79® Sep 4, 2014 7:48 PM
Great report
Marshall® Sep 2, 2014 7:49 AM
The GoodAg is welcome here ANYTIME!!!!
71PR Sep 2, 2014 1:38 PM
I can't believe you ate at Maurices
OldTiger05 Sep 2, 2014 2:03 PM
Maurice's is about the worst BBQ I have had and he has...
tigerking79® Sep 4, 2014 7:50 PM
10 hours of Sandstorm ? I was hoping for a little more.
Rocky the Tiger® Sep 2, 2014 2:23 PM
Just a little icing on the cake
TheGoodAg Sep 4, 2014 7:14 PM
Dude, does Lamar even football?
gorillawalk Sep 4, 2014 7:40 PM
Re: Dude, does Lamar even football?
TheGoodAg Sep 4, 2014 7:57 PM
Billy Brice has open air restrooms, that explains the feces
tigerking79® Sep 4, 2014 7:44 PM
All time Tigernet post!
TigerHawk76® Sep 4, 2014 7:53 PM
Re: Greetings my Tiger brethren!
bobcobb22 Sep 4, 2014 8:17 PM
RE: Mizzou fans
TheGoodAg Sep 4, 2014 8:44 PM
So overall you rate Cola an A, B or C?
JKBtigerpaw Sep 4, 2014 8:57 PM
Holy crap I know that coot in the picture. Bless it***
colemanfan Sep 4, 2014 8:37 PM
Great read. Man I enjoy good literature...
va72tiger Sep 4, 2014 8:39 PM
Great post! I'll have to say that everyone of the TAM folks
TigerLinks Sep 4, 2014 9:20 PM