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"Noah" Review (SPOILERS)
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"Noah" Review (SPOILERS)


Apr 4, 2014, 8:52 AM

Well, I found out exactly how the director filled the length of the movie with 5 chapters of the Bible.

1. Noah was a murderer from the beginning of the movie which kills the idea that he is the purest and noblest of the humans left on earth.

2. The "Fallen Angels" or "Watchers" as they were called in the movie was an interesting twist. These are the angels that disobeyed God and and left the gates of Heaven to watch after the humans after they had sinned. God punished them by turning them to rock creatures, which in turn, caused them to have greed and dislike the humans. They ended up helping Noah build the arc, fought off the line of Cain and as they died, asked forgiveness from God and returned to heaven.

3. Only one of Noahs sons had a wife, Shem, and it was Emma Watsons character. There was a hot sex scene. I tried to #### in the popcorn bucket trick with Red cause I was turnt at that time.. didnt work, sorry no pigs.

4. The leader of the line of Cain broke onto the arc as the floods took it away... turned Ham against Noah and tried to kill him.. never happened, what de fack.

5. Once Emma Watson had two daughters, Noah was hell bent on killing them because "God had told him that Japheth would be the last of the living humans.

5. Favorite theme of the movie is choice. The director makes it very apparent that sin is a choice and it is ours to make. Noah took the option of love at the end and chose not to murder the newborn twins (TWINS).

6. God spoke through dreams in the beginning, which could be true, but at the end He spoke through rainbows. This clearly shows He is in favor of gay marriage.

Summary: This was a very liberal direction to take the movie. It made Noah look like a very aggressive man when in fact in Genesis he is the opposite. The "Fallen Angels" was nice, but also a stretch. Most of the story is fabricated, but has bits of biblical truth sprinkled in throughout which somewhat redeemed the movie in my eyes. I didnt enjoy it as much as I would have liked to, but thats solely because my interpretation of the Bible is significantly different than the movie.

TL;DR: A far stretch from the story in the Bible. Would not suggest seeing in the theatres, wait for DVD/Blu-Ray. Can completely understand the controversy.

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Please forgive me, @IneligibleUser


How much (female) nekkedness was there in this?***


Apr 4, 2014, 8:56 AM



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Enough to get me turnt


Apr 4, 2014, 8:56 AM

But not enough to see any nip.

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Please forgive me, @IneligibleUser


No nip??


Apr 4, 2014, 9:10 AM

(Kramer voice) I'm out!

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And it's a musical, right?


Apr 4, 2014, 8:57 AM

That's what's so controversial?

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Re: "Noah" Review (SPOILERS)


Apr 4, 2014, 9:12 AM

who said it had to do anything with the bible? Did people get all up in arms when the new superman did not follow the original comics? (bible=comics)

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You must use the same logic when voting and supporting


Apr 4, 2014, 9:15 AM

Presidents

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Please forgive me, @IneligibleUser


Re: You must use the same logic when voting and supporting


Apr 4, 2014, 9:21 AM

yes, unfortunately I voted for Bush because I confused him with a Howdy Doody



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lol @ "biblical truths"***


Apr 4, 2014, 9:17 AM



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I read that whole thing, forgetting that I don't care about


Apr 4, 2014, 9:29 AM

the movie and will only see it if it streams to netflix.

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